Chapter 19
Kiri and Dania walked them to the door to see them off. Dania was hardly bothered by Sonya and Azam leaving now that she had an entire weekend at Caden’s to look forward to.
‘Daani, I need a hug,’ Sonya said, after she’d said goodbye to Kiri. Dania was being finicky, in one of those moods. ‘Dania, please!’
Dania sighed, as if she was being asked for too much, then trudged over, offering herself to Sonya for a hug. She tried to scurry off immediately after, but Sonya grabbed her arm, pulling her back in.
‘And a kiss!’ Sonya said. Dania groaned, then gave Sonya a quick kiss before going off.
Sonya shook her head, laughing. Dania’s mood swings used to cause her anxiety—she would think Dania suddenly didn’t like her anymore—but now she knew that was just how children were: adoring one moment and indifferent the next.
Azam caught Dania, pulling her back. ‘Oh no you don’t.’ He threw her up in the air and Dania laughed. He hugged her goodbye, and she fidgeted, but then she hugged him tight. Azam closed his eyes, a crease between his brows.
Dania wiggled out of his grasp, running back inside.
Kiri shook her head at the sight. ‘You two have fun, now,’ she told them.
‘But not too much fun?’ Azam teased.
Kiri laughed. ‘No, I give you leave to have too much fun. You deserve it.’ She put a hand on his cheek, and he hugged her again.
‘Have fun at Caden’s!’ Sonya said. Kiri smiled, waving, and then Sonya and Azam were off.
The morning was a little chilly, but the sun was out, and soon the day would be perfectly warm. There weren’t any clouds in sight, so it didn’t look like they would catch any rain.
As they walked, Azam carried both of their bags. She was carrying a smaller one with the invitation and some snacks for their trip, along with other things like money and a handkerchief.
They walked to the end of the Outskirts, going northwest. It was where she had gone the first night she ran away, the place Azam said was full of travelers and where he’d pointed out the carriage stop.
Sonya wore a simple day dress and a thin shawl she had bought with her own money from the market.
There were many workers heading in the same direction as them to get to Castletown for work. Preparations for the tourney were nearly complete but workers were still there to maintain those polished streets and all the new landscaping.
Sonya didn’t understand her father. Even though it was almost the end of May now, he still had not canceled the tourney. He was acting like everything was completely normal, as if she had not run away almost two months ago!
She no longer spotted soldiers patrolling the Outskirts and wondered where they must have shifted their search to.
‘This is my first time leaving her,’ Azam said, pulling Sonya from her thoughts. He glanced over his shoulder toward the direction from where they had come. ‘It feels strange.’
‘Dania will have a good time with Caden and Grandma Kiri,’ Sonya reassured him. ‘And the sheep! And Butterscotch. I’m sure she’ll be so entertained, she won’t even notice our absence.’
Azam let out a breath. ‘You’re right, it’s just … strange. I’m so used to thinking about her constantly: how to take care of her, what’s best for her. It feels odd to do something on my own.’
He was Dania’s older brother but of course he had been more of a parent to her. ‘It’s natural to feel odd,’ Sonya said, ‘but you don’t need to feel guilty. You’ll be back with her in no time.’
Azam smiled. ‘Thank you.’
‘Of course.’ She liked that her words seemed to have an effect on Azam, that he listened and valued her opinion.
They made it to the carriage stop, which was a small stand with an old man in charge. Nobody else was there yet, as they were quite early. Azam bought the tickets; it was a full day’s journey to Oakdale, and Ximena’s country estate was a short ride from there.
Their carriage was very different from Ximena’s grand carriage and from Sonya’s royal carriages. This one was plain and black, pulled by four black horses. Azam gave their luggage to the coachman and then stepped on first, offering his hand to help Sonya up.
‘Why don’t you sit by the window?’ he said, and so she did, while he sat beside her. Other people came on, and they were all squeezed in rather tightly. She was glad to be by the window then, with Azam beside her.
After they were all situated, the coachman stood in front of the open door, letting them know how the journey would progress.
‘We’ll be stopping every three hours or so, and stopping three times,’ he explained.
‘The last stop is when we arrive. It’s about a twelve-hour journey, so we should be in Oakdale by around eight. ’
The passengers all nodded, then the coachman closed the door. She felt the carriage move as the coachman settled up front, and then they were off.
Sonya hadn’t expected it to be quite so rickety, and a nervous peal of laughter left her as she jostled back and forth, knocking into Azam. He laughed, as well.
Finally, the carriage settled, and she wasn’t thrown around so much. It was good they were packed so tightly, or she’d surely go flying at every turn. And a part of her did revel in the feel of Azam pressed beside her, the warmth of his body seeping into hers.
She looked out of the window, watching as they made it out of the Outskirts and onto the road. It struck her then that she was going further than she’d ever been.
The carriage was made up of two old ladies sitting across from Sonya, both of whom were already asleep. Beside them was a young man reading a book, and on Azam’s other side was a middle-aged man, who was quiet, looking out the window.
‘Is this the path you took to Seaview when you went to the Cliffs?’ Sonya asked.
‘Initially, yes, but this will be taking us further west rather than going south,’ Azam replied. ‘I haven’t left Castletown since my parents died.’
‘Did you used to travel a lot?’ Sonya asked.
‘Not very often, but probably once or twice a year we’d take a carriage somewhere,’ he replied.
‘The last carriage ride I took was a trip we all made to Whitebridge. I don’t remember why we went—it must have been something my mother needed for the shop, perhaps some special fabric or something, I can’t remember.
’ He smiled at the memory. ‘I just remember how exciting it was. Dania laughed like you did when the carriage first started. She thought it was a game, something fun.’
‘Tell me more,’ Sonya said, turning her body towards his to see him better.
His expression grew fond at the memories.
‘Everything was so … perfect. Dania was just learning how to crawl. She was so chubby, absolutely adorable, and always laughing, speaking in baby-babble.’ He paused, thinking.
‘Life was so good and I didn’t even know it.
I thought things would always be like that.
If I’d known how much things would change, how much I would miss those moments, those days, I would have—’ He broke off.
‘You would have what?’ she asked, voice gentle.
He thought about it. ‘I don’t know, actually,’ he said. ‘It’s so difficult to recognize perfect moments of joy when you are living them, which moments will become memories you visit again and again.’ Then he looked at her and smiled. ‘Well, it isn’t always difficult.’
His gaze was warm, and she felt her heartbeat quicken in response. Feeling hot, she slid her shawl off her shoulders, folding it and putting it in her lap.
She turned her gaze to the window and, as they rode past new areas, Sonya asked Azam about all the new things she was seeing: which villages the roads led down to, what was grown in those fields, was that a river she saw?
They chatted until they fell into a comfortable silence. The carriage continued rocking, and Sonya yawned, feeling sleepy. Before she could doze off, they arrived at the first stop.
The carriage came to a halt, and they all disembarked. Since Sonya was sitting by the window, she was the last one off. Azam offered her his hand, and she took it, her legs feeling quite wobbly from the journey.
As she stepped down, she stumbled, but Azam’s hands caught her easily. ‘Steady,’ he said.
They had stopped in front of a tavern. Sonya stretched her back, relishing the sunlight on her face and the feel of fresh air in her lungs.
‘Would you like anything to eat or drink?’ Azam asked, but she declined the offer, and fifteen minutes later, they got back on the carriage.
The older ladies had left, and in their place, two new men had got on. The carriage set off once more.
Azam inched protectively closer to Sonya, even though the carriage was already tight. She looked up at him, and he gave her a reassuring smile.
Feeling sleepy again, Sonya dozed off. When she woke some time later, her head was resting on Azam’s shoulder, and her shawl was draped across her body.
‘Sorry,’ she said, lifting her head.
‘Don’t be,’ Azam replied. ‘And you were cold so I—’
‘Thank you. You should get some sleep, too.’
Azam glanced around the carriage. ‘No, I’m okay,’ he replied. The other men seemed to be minding their own business, but Azam seemed tense. It made her insides feel all gooey, as if she was his to protect.
Sonya opened her bag and took out the food she had packed: bread and cheese and nuts. They split it, nibbling and chatting a little bit. Eventually, they arrived at the next stop, getting off again for a break. Her legs were a bit sore then, and she relished stretching them.
‘Would you like anything?’ Azam asked, gesturing to the tavern.
‘A cup of tea would be nice,’ she replied.
‘I was thinking the same thing,’ he said. He went into the tavern while she stayed out in the sun, warming her skin. A minute or so later, someone exited the tavern: a young man, around their age. She didn’t recognize him from the carriage, so he was likely a local.
When he saw Sonya, he stopped in his tracks. Her heartbeat quickened immediately with fear. Did he recognize her?
She turned away slightly, but then he approached her. ‘Aren’t you a pretty thing?’ he said, smiling widely. ‘What are you doing out here all alone?’
She bristled, glancing over her shoulder, but Azam was still inside. At least the man didn’t seem to recognize her after all.
‘I’m not alone, thank you,’ she said, with a tight smile. He pretended not to hear.
‘I’m Jack,’ he said. ‘Why don’t we go somewhere for a bite to eat? You look hungry.’
‘Um—’ She wondered how to politely decline.
Luckily, she didn’t have to. She felt an arm around her shoulder, a warm presence beside her. She inhaled the comforting scent of strong tea, and any tension she felt melted away like ice in the summer.
‘Like I said’—Sonya smiled a true smile—‘I’m not alone.’
Jack pouted. ‘Oh, come on,’ he started. ‘I’m sure I—’
‘You heard her,’ Azam said, voice hard. ‘Get lost.’
The expression on Azam’s face had the young man scurrying off, but when he turned back to Sonya, he was perfectly gentle once more.
She released a breath, feeling all sorts of things.
‘Are you alright?’ he asked.
She nodded, looking at him with affection.
‘Good,’ he replied. He handed her a cup of tea. He had made it just how she liked it, and the drink was perfectly soothing. After they finished, it was time to board again.
She gazed out the window as they continued on and eventually fell back asleep. It was such a long journey. She hadn’t realized this was what seeing the world entailed, but she didn’t mind, not with Azam beside her.
The next time she woke, he was drawing in a small book. She glanced over and saw he was sketching her.
She looked up at him, and his face was shy.
‘Keep going,’ she whispered. ‘I like watching you work.’
He continued, and she watched the pencil move across the paper, the way it added details to her that seemed impossible to capture. It made her feel so unequivocally seen that her heart ached.
After he finished the sketch of her, he moved on to drawing Dania, then Kiri, and she could feel how much he missed them. Watching him occupied Sonya to the next stop, where they had more tea, and then it was the final stretch.
Finally, they made it to Oakdale. Sonya was glad to see the carriage go, her legs creaking as she walked off.
But then she stopped in her tracks when she saw a soldier checking all those who were entering Oakdale. Ximena or her fiancé must have hired extra security to ensure that the wedding went without any hitches; big weddings like theirs always attracted the wrong sort of people.
Anxiety spiked through her, though Sonya tried to hide it.
She was at the back of the group, and she tried to see what the soldier was doing.
It looked like he was only checking people’s luggage, nothing out of the ordinary, and Sonya tried to remain calm, keeping her breaths measured as her carriage companions were checked and passed easily through.
The soldier checked Azam, next, and then it was Sonya’s turn.
‘Just checking your bag, miss, nothing to worry about,’ the soldier said, and she handed him her purse. He looked through it, then handed it back to her, and she was in the clear. Until his gaze snagged on her face.
Recognition flickered across his expression, and dread gripped her with icy hands.
‘Miss, would you step to the side for a moment?’ the soldier asked. ‘Just there, into the light.’
‘Is there a problem?’ she asked, drawing out the words the way Winnie taught her.
The soldier furrowed his brow. ‘Please step to the side, miss,’ the soldier said again. Sonya took a miniscule step toward the light, and the soldier frowned. He reached for her, and she flinched.
‘What’s going on?’ Azam asked, voice hard.
‘We are here with Lady Ximena’s bridal dress.
We are her tailors from Castletown. Her butler will be arriving any moment for her dress and we still need to make it to our lodgings for the night.
You wouldn’t want to be the one causing her delay, would you? ’
The soldier’s eyes went wide. ‘Her tailors, you said?’
‘Yes,’ Azam replied, tone clipped.
Sonya held her breath.
Finally, the soldier nodded. ‘Alright, off you go,’ he replied.
‘Thank you,’ Sonya squeaked.
She followed Azam, guilt needling through her. He hadn’t even questioned why the soldier had stopped her. He trusted her so fully and, all the while, she was keeping such a big secret from him.