CHAPTER 41
BLANCHETTE
The water trickled in the bath as I dragged the soapy, soft cloth across Jonathan’s shoulders. No more gray-colored soot came away. We’d already had to drain and refill the tub after he’d washed my hair, the long stroke of his fingers and the strength of his hands nearly putting me to sleep.
Jonathan was leaning back, me sitting in his naked lap, my knees anchored to the bottom of the tub around his hips.
His blue eyes were glacial, pretty sapphires in the dim lighting.
With every silent moment that passed, I knew that we were both thinking about the same thing.
The night we’d had…and the events leading up to it.
“You sure you’re okay?” Jonathan asked. Again.
He’d asked three times already, and every time, I spied the sparking of his anger in his eyes, as if he was still on the cusp of a shift, and I’d have to stroke my hand down the center of his chest, as if to assure him that I was here.
With him and not back at the Circle of Thornblood.
“Yes,” I replied. I knew what went unspoken, what he was really asking.
I could think whatever I wanted about Erik Skoll. But I didn’t think he would’ve physically hurt me. He was a lot of things—and he was cruel—but he had his own boundaries, lines he wouldn’t cross.
Fang, on the other hand…I still shuddered remembering the coldness in his dark gaze.
Jonathan’s shoulders were beginning to bunch again, his muscles rippling beneath my fingertips, and I leaned forward to press my lips against his, purposefully keeping the kiss soft and gentle.
“I’m here,” I whispered. “I’m safe.”
A sharp huff released from his nostrils. Then he said, softly, “When I called you several times and you didn’t answer, I felt something was off. Then when I called Megan and she told me you never showed up to meet her for drinks…I knew something was wrong.”
“Oh, gods, I had completely forgotten about Megan,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I talked to Bernie last night, after…”
Our argument, I thought silently. The way Jonathan had turned his back on me, hurt, not sure what he could believe. I couldn’t even blame him. I just wished he’d believed me and not Erik.
“Bernie told me all about what they were doing at Skoll. About why he’d really been fired. I waited until after work to go look where Bernie told me to, but Erik found me there. Like he’d been waiting. And then I woke up in Juniper Woods.”
“That bastard had the nerve to call me from your phone,” Jonathan growled, and I smoothed my hand over the ball of his tense shoulder.
“What did he say?” I whispered.
“The land…for you,” Jonathan said, his eyes gleaming. I froze in his lap. I was shocked, but I realized I shouldn’t be. “I would’ve given him anything to get you back.”
After what May had told me, about Jonathan’s connection to this land, I knew what a loss that would’ve been. Like a lost limb. This forest had been protected by Jonathan’s family for centuries. I never wanted him to give it up. Not for me. Not for anything.
But he’d been ready to?
For me?
The realization stunned me.
“I…I thought,” I said, nibbling at my bottom lip as thoughts swarmed my mind. “I thought you didn’t want this anymore. That you—”
“I was being stubborn and foolish,” he growled out, his hands tightening around my waist. “I’m sorry. It’s just…”
His hands moved to my face, smoothing back my wet hair.
“It’s that place,” he rasped. “Those people. I can’t breathe in Graymore.
And Erik reminded me of everything I tried to leave behind.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but he got in my head.
Said you were spying for the company, and for a moment…
it made sense. Because why else would someone like you be hanging around someone like me?
People don’t usually look at me the way you do. ”
“I never spied for Skoll,” I said, keeping my voice even, meeting his eyes. “I never would.”
“I know,” Jonathan said, and hearing those words unraveled the tight knot I’d carried with me since our fight. “When I had time to think about it, I knew you wouldn’t have done that. And it makes me feel even worse, for what I said to you in the plaza.”
A small semblance of relief filled me, at least knowing that.
“You don’t trust people easily,” I said softly.
“I know that. And I understand why. But if we’re going to choose this, choose each other, you’re going to have to try to trust me, Jonathan.
I wanted to prove to you that I wouldn’t betray you like that.
If you couldn’t take me for my word, then I would show you proof… and that’s why I went to Bernie.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. “And it put you right into the crosshairs. Because of me.”
“It was only a matter of time,” I assured him.
“Don’t blame yourself for that. It’s not your fault.
This was Erik’s choice. It was Fang’s. They would’ve gotten to me one way or another because Erik knew I was the weak point in your armor.
And he exploited it. That’s what he does.
That’s who he is. He scented blood, and he went hunting. ”
I encircled my arms around his neck, letting the cloth drop into the water. “But you found me,” I said, brushing my lips across his warm cheek. “You came for me. You protected me. And that speaks louder than anything else.”
“Even an apology?” he murmured, a dry tone to the words.
My lips quirked. “Well, I would like one of those.”
Jonathan dragged in a deep breath. His forehead dropped to mine, and I could see the strands of dark blue through his irises.
“I really am sorry. I should have had more faith in you. I should’ve stayed in Graymore to talk to you.
I knew it even then. But I blocked it out because I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling, just like I blocked out Graymore from my past. I won’t do that ever again…
numb myself. Especially from you.” He paused.
“Life is about choices, right? You choose to walk away from things or embrace them. You’re too good to let slip away… and I won’t make that mistake twice.”
“I already forgave you,” I said quietly. I kissed him, lingering.
The kiss was long and slow. I could feel the exhaustion slowly pressing into my shoulders, the frenzied danger of the night slowly lifting and in its place was a hollowed-out feeling that I knew only sleeping within the safety of Jonathan’s arms could fill right now.
He was warm and so solid beneath me. Between my thighs, I was still sore from our lovemaking, but I pressed even closer. As the kiss deepened, I felt his cock harden against me, and he pulled back with a groan.
“Maybe not now,” he murmured, brushing his thumb against my cheek. “We should rest.”
I nodded, trailing my fingers down his chest. “You’re right.”
A tired huff left him. “Think we can manage a time together without something trying to kill us? I’m starting to think the woods are jealous every time I touch you.”
Right. The first time we’d been intimate, we’d stumbled home breathless from Juniper Woods, hearts still hammering after outrunning whatever lurked near the moonshade-berry patch we’d discovered.
He pulled me closer, and I pressed my cheek to the center of his chest, careful of the wounds I’d unwrapped before the bath, though they already appeared to be closed.
Jonathan’s voice rumbled against my cheek, reverberating. “I want to make love to you on a Tuesday morning. At dawn, as the sun is rising, and we both don’t have anywhere to be. And after, we’ll make coffee and have breakfast.”
I smiled, a flutter in my belly. “That sounds like a great plan.”
“Next Tuesday work?”
I laughed. “Absolutely.”
“I’m serious. I want to be with you,” he said, the careful but firm words as sweet as a moonshade-berry tart during the summer festival. His eyes were steady and certain. “I’ve fallen pretty hard for you, Red.”
My throat went tight. I hadn’t talked to Jonathan about what I’d already decided about moving back. But now? I was even more sure.
“I’ve fallen pretty hard for you too, Jonathan Wolfe,” I said quietly.
He grinned. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I murmured, smiling.
We were grinning like fools, in a rapidly cooling bathtub, with the smell of ash still lingering in my nostrils. But somehow it felt like it was exactly where we were meant to be.
Taking in a deep breath, I started quietly, “Come to Graymore. On Tuesday. We can make love as the sun is rising. I’ll make you your ridiculously sweet coffee and breakfast. And afterward…you can help me pack up my apartment.”
His eyes flashed, his body stilling beneath mine.
“I’ve already decided to move back to Everwick,” I told him, tucking a wet strand of hair behind my ear.
“Even before all this. I want to move back into my grandmother’s cottage for a while, fix it up, maybe rent it out to a family who can love it just as much as we did.
I want to see someone cherish that place.
That’s what she would want. And I think I can make that happen.
” I took a deep breath, released it slowly.
“When I moved to Graymore, I thought I knew what I wanted. Only to find out I knew nothing at all. I thought happiness was a flashy, successful career in the big city. Money, security. I pictured such a glamorous, exciting life. But now I know it’s not about that at all.
What I dream about now is Everwick—the brine in the air, the waves against the cliffs.
A community. I dream of starting over because even though it terrifies me, it feels exhilarating.
I want to pave my own way now, not just be another face in a sea of people. I dream about you. That’s what I want.”
“I want you to be sure,” Jonathan asked quietly. “Because I’m sure about you.”
“I am—I promise,” I said, smiling. “I should thank Meg. Because even though she forced me to come back here…it just made me realize that Everwick will always be home. And I’ve never felt that way back in Graymore. I want to come home. And I…I know you’ll be here too.”
His lips were on mine before I could barely get out the last word, and I smiled into the kiss, relieved.
“I’m here, Blanche,” he whispered when he finally pulled away. He pressed a kiss to my temple, to my cheeks. “Coming back doesn’t mean going untouched. Sometimes coming back is moving forward. And I’ll be here waiting for you.”
My smile felt wobbly. “So Tuesday?”
Jonathan’s eyes were bright and twinkling.
“Tuesday. It’s a date, Red.”