30. Sage
Sage
Islid on the navy dress and put my hair in a simple braid. The crew walked above me as they got everything ready for docking.
The Violet Ghost had luckily stayed afloat the few short hours to port. I wasn’t sure why Adrian was so resistant to stopping if the ship’s integrity was at stake. Did he want the necklace around my neck so badly he would risk everyone here? The thought put me in a foul mood.
I wasn’t sure if this was what having sea legs was like, but I could tell when the ship came to a full stop and made my way to the top deck where everyone was gathered. It was evening by the time we tied off, the sun mostly setting, hues of purple and orange painting the sky.
There were a few people on board I didn’t recognize. Probably fixing the ship, since Anne was talking closely to one of them.
As I scanned, I eyed Shadowhart, who was already looking at me.
I turned away quickly, having no interest in speaking with him right now. I started towards the ramp to get off the ship and onto the land. My eyes were held firmly on the pier I was going to be on, and not the water between.
A hand landed on my arm, startling me. Connie was there, her orange hair plaited behind her. “Where are you going?”
“Out,” I said. She wasn’t one of my mothers. Even they didn’t question me to this degree.
“No one goes alone,” she reminded me.
This silly buddy system was going to be the death of me.
“I promise I can go for a walk alone.”
“It’s against the rules,” she said.
“Well, I’m not one of you!” I snapped. “I don’t have to follow the rules.”
“Yes, you do,” Adrian’s deep voice came from behind me. “I’ve explained to you repeatedly that everything, and everyone, on the ship has to follow my rules.”
I turned to face him. It was the first time I had really looked at him since the argument this morning.
I wanted to be angrier than I was. Before I had seen him, it was easy for me to be. But as soon as he was in front of me again, it was like I had forgotten what I was even mad about.
“Well, not just going to stay here all day,” I complained. “I need to stretch my legs. And I want a drink.”
“Can’t you just do what I’ve asked of you for one day?” he asked.
“Nope.”
He sighed, but waved Connie off, saying that he would handle it.
“Let me check to make sure everything is going to plan, and then I will take you.”
“I didn’t ask to be taken anywhere.”
“Difficult princess,” he muttered under his breath before stepping away.
Though I briefly thought about fleeing, I waited patiently by the planks until he slithered over to join me. He’d taken his hat off, looking more the way he did when we first met. Half of his dark strands were pushed up in a half ponytail with a few pieces hanging in the front.
“Shall we?” he asked putting his arm out to mine.
I nodded, but didn’t take his arm, trekking forward on my own. My stubbornness once again winning out over my fear.
The island didn’t have much going for it.
It wasn’t like the city we were just in.
Though they were both ship stopovers, the island was more for emergency stops than anything.
There were no rows of cute shops here or performances happening at night.
Only the necessity shops right near the port, mostly selling fish and drink.
Behind it was a dirt road that led to smaller looking houses.
The island mostly lived off of their fishing exports, so it made sense for most people to live right on the coast.
“So, what could you possibly want to do here?” Adrian asked. “There’s no fancy shops to see or anything like that.”
“I told you, I needed to stretch my legs.”
“There’s plenty of space to do so on the deck.”
“I have no interest in spending any time on the deck.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
I kept my gaze pointed down at my feet as we walked inland.
Though I had gotten better through this trip, there were still a lot of nerves when it came to the ocean itself.
I could hear the rush of the waves as they hit the dock we were standing on.
Luckily, our conversation and a lot of the dock work made it a bit easier to ignore it.
“I’d prefer not to discuss it.”
Though it was simple, it seemed to dissuade him. “Want to get a drink?”
“I thought there was nothing here,” I said.
He rolled his eyes, “Come on.”
We walked off the pier down the dirt road to what looked like the only tavern in town.
The Jolly Eel was a bit rundown, and the sign outside was a bit lopsided, but the inside had a definite charm.
I recognized an even number of the crew filling the tables.
But Adrian lead us to a separate table, slightly away from everyone else.
The barmaid came for us, and I got a sweet wine while Adrian ordered whisky.
We sipped our drinks in terse silence. I still had no idea how anyone could drink straight liquor like that. My nose wrinkled just watching him sip it.
“What?” he asked, taking obvious note of my gaze.
“Just remembering the whisky I had.”
He laughed. “Yeah, not your best moment.”
I reached across the table and smacked his shoulder. “Don’t be a prick.”
“But you love when I’m a prick.”
“Trust me, I don’t.”
“Whatever you say.”
“You’re impossible,” I said, but with much less bite than I normally did.
“But you like that.”
I didn’t respond, just sipping my wine.
“So,” he continued. “Tell me what’s up with you and the ocean.”
I rolled my eyes. “If I knew you were just taking me here to loosen my lips with alcohol, I might have said no.”
“That was only a bit of the reason,” he said. “I can’t just take a pretty girl for a drink?”
Since when was he so… forward? “No.”
He took a deep sip of his drink. “Just tell me.”
“And what do I get if I do?” I asked.
He pondered this for a moment. “I’ll answer one of your questions.”
It was my turn to think about his request. I did have quite a few questions, and this did seem like the best way to get them answered.
“Fine,” I said finally. “But it’s any question I want, deal?”
“Deal.”
He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. I downed the rest of my glass of wine, needing something to muster up the courage. I never talked about this to anyone outside of my family before. And even then, I had never been truly honest about it.
“When I was a child, we used to go to the beach every year in the summer,” I started.
“It was the best family vacation ever. Sorcha would help me build sandcastles and Sybil helped me learn to read out on that beach.” I couldn’t help the slight smile that came to my lips, thinking about such fond memories.
“One year, when we were there, I walked to the edge of the peninsula by myself. My mothers had warned me to stay close, but I could still see them even if they were just a spec to me at that point.”
Though I wasn’t looking at him, Adrian’s eyes bore a hole into the side of my head as I talked, obviously hanging on my every word. Which for some reason, made me even more nervous. It might have been better if he didn’t care at all.
“Anyway,” I continued. “When I reached the edge and dipped my feet into the water, it was like all the sand beneath me was sucked away, and I disappeared beneath the surface without another moment’s thought.
“I couldn’t breathe, obviously I was underwater. I was sure I was going to drown. I tried to swim up, or down, any direction just to free myself but it was no use. I just kept sinking lower and lower and lower…”
I could feel myself hyperventilating, getting worked up over just telling the story. He must have thought I was an idiot.
“Flower,” he said, the unusual nickname pulling me from my spiral. He had pulled my chair out and was now in front of me with both hands on my shoulders, the warmth reminding me I was in fact not sinking to the bottom of the ocean. I was here, with him.
“It’s alright,” he said. “I’m right here.”
That kind of assurance and platitude had never done much before. But something about how grounding and comforting he was helped. I took a couple steady, deep breaths, and then continued.
“I knew at that point I should have been long dead. I’d been under the water for too long. I tried to scream, to get any attention for help but nobody came. Until I saw her.”
She was so clear in my mind. “The siren who found me was beautiful, no question about it. Her long green hair danced in the water around her. The scales on her face dotted around, leading down to her arms over her stomach until turning into a full tail at the bottom.
“I was pretty sure she said something, but I couldn’t understand her. She came towards me, I instinctually tried to back away, but it was no use. She grabbed me, wrapping the necklace around me, and swam away.
“I don’t remember much after that. I woke up on the beach sputtering water with my whole family around me. I haven’t been to the ocean since.”
I glanced up at Adrian, trying to gauge his expression. Absently, I fumbled my necklace between my fingers.
“It feels like a curse sometimes,” I said. I never admitted that part aloud, not even to myself. “But it’s also a little comforting, always knowing it’ll be there.”
The captain swallowed deeply. “I can understand the hatred of the ocean now.”
A sputtering laugh came from my lips. “Yeah, you could say that. I used to love it though; it was something I looked forward to every year. The feeling of the water on my skin, the sand between my toes.”
I hadn’t really allowed myself to think about it too much before. But I felt a little nostalgic for it all of a sudden.
“Well that’s my sob story,” I said with a bit of false pity in my tone. “I know much worse things happen to a lot of people. And I live a charmed life otherwise, I shouldn’t get so caught up in—”
“You’re not being fair,” he said, interrupting me.
I scrunched my brows. “What?”
“Everyone has their own shit they go through,” he said, gesturing his hands in a circle for emphasis. “And it affects people in different ways. You shouldn’t belittle your own trauma just because it feels like it could have been worse. Anything could be worse.”