Chapter 3
Three
Hannah
I walk with my sister to the front door and hug her, half of me hating that she’s going to leave. She’s the only person in the world I really know. I want to ask if I can stay with her at Adam’s house, but I don’t dare. I need to be gracious.
Also, I realize she just got married a few months ago. I shouldn’t impose on her time with her new husband. They look so happy. He stares at her as though she hangs the moon.
I’d give anything for someone to look at me like that. But it’s not in the cards. Even though all three of them acted like God would not judge me for my immoral behavior, I don’t believe them.
I’m ruined. Soiled. Damaged. I’ve sinned. I deserve to be punished. I would have stayed with Presley as penance for the rest of my life if he hadn’t threatened the baby.
That was what finally got to me. No matter how many times he has told me I’m nothing but damaged goods that nobody could ever want, I refuse to believe God will punish my baby.
Aaric sets his hands on my shoulders, yanking me out of my thoughts and making me flinch. It feels so good when he touches me. I haven’t been held in two years. I can’t even say I was touched on the night my baby was conceived.
Aaric guides me back a few inches and shuts the door. “How about a bath? I bet you’d feel ten times better after one. Then you can sleep as long as you want.”
I lean into him, letting him take my weight, my back against his front. I could stay like this forever. I don’t even mind standing on my tired legs with Aaric behind me.
Shaking those silly thoughts from my head, I nod. “That would be so nice.”
He turns me around, takes my hand, and leads me through his house. I notice there are three bedrooms. One looks like an office. It’s filled with electronics I barely recognize. I think a computer, or maybe even more than one.
One of the rooms is completely empty. The last one coming off the hallway is his bedroom.
There’s a giant bed, bigger than any I’ve ever seen.
It looks so comfortable. I bet the mattress is soft.
I’ve never slept a day in my life on anything that inviting.
The comforter is navy, and it looks new.
If he just built this cabin, I guess everything in it is new.
He didn’t get this furniture at a secondhand store or a flea market. That’s for sure.
Aaric tugs on my arm. He chuckles. “I know you’re tired. Would you rather sleep first?”
I jerk my attention from the bed to him. “No. I’ll get the sheets all dirty. Or…” I glance back at the hallway. This is the only bed I saw in the house. “…the couch. I’ve already touched it enough. You’ll probably have to disinfect it.”
He chuckles. “Sunshine, I’m not worried about a little dirt, but you’re not sleeping on the couch. You’ll sleep in my bed. I promise to close the door and stay nice and quiet, so you won’t be disturbed.”
“I can’t take your bed,” I say as he drags me past the inviting bed and through another door. I’m instantly distracted from that thought because, holy cow. This is the most luxurious bathroom I’ve ever seen.
It’s huge. There’s a giant tub that’s separate from the shower. There are two sinks and a long vanity. A rack has stacks of the fluffiest towels I’ve ever seen. They’re white. How do they stay that way?
“I’m sure you’d prefer a bath to a shower right now. Your legs must be so tired, considering how far you walked.”
It was a long way. I didn’t have any other options. And the entire time, I didn’t know what I would find when I arrived at my father’s house this morning. I left the last few miles for today, instead of showing up late last night.
I certainly didn’t anticipate discovering a note telling me to come to the Gallant homestead. Nor could I have predicted everything that has happened since I arrived here. I’ve eaten, had plenty to drink, reunited with my sister, and now I’m about to have the most luxurious bath of my life.
“I don’t have any girly soaps or shampoo or anything. We’ll get some from town. I’ll see if any of my brothers are planning to go to the city this afternoon or tomorrow. They can pick up some supplies. I’ll make a list. Let me know if you think of anything we need to add to it.”
He’s talking so fast, it’s hard to follow him. And I’m so stunned by his words. “I don’t want to be a bother. Please don’t go to any trouble.”
He turns on the faucet and puts the stopper in the bottom of the tub before coming to me. He touches my chin. “You’re not a bother or any trouble, Hannah. I’m so glad you’re here. Whatever you’ve been through, it’s over. You’re home now.”
Home?
I can’t possibly stay here. I’m of no use to anyone. My only goal in coming back here was to deliver my baby somewhere safe so it could be placed in a loving home. I don’t even know if that’s possible. But it’s my goal.
“I’m going to leave you alone to bathe, sunshine. Yell if you need anything, okay?”
“Thank you,” I murmur.
Aaric leans down and kisses my forehead. It’s so sweet and caring that I nearly choke up. I’ve been treated better in the last two hours than in the past two years. Maybe I could stay here, at least for a few weeks, until I can figure out what to do next.
The truth is, I don’t have a plan. All my focus has been on saving the life of the child growing inside me. I’ve never dared worry about what happens to me. I honestly don’t expect to survive the birth. Why should I? I don’t deserve it. But this baby deserves a chance.
I slowly remove my clothes. The skirts are so heavy that I feel lighter just from taking them off. The sweater is also heavy. I leave it all in a pile near the sink because I don’t know what else to do. I’ll need to wash them. Maybe Aaric will let me use his machine.
I have no idea what I’m going to put on when I get out of this bathtub. I hadn’t thought of that before I stripped. The thought of putting any of those filthy layers back on makes me cringe. I’ll have to deal with that next. One thing at a time, though.
I reach in and check the water before finally stepping over the side. My balance is terrible. My belly is so huge that I can barely see my feet when I’m standing.
The moan that escapes my mouth as I sit startles me. I find myself smiling, too. Nothing has felt this good in my life. Quickly, I turn the water off. It’s already several inches high. I don’t want to be wasteful.
There’s a knock at the door, and I panic. “Hannah?”
“Yes?” My voice squeaks. I don’t know what to do. I’m naked. Is Aaric going to come in?
“Is something wrong with the water, sunshine? I heard it turn off.”
“No,” I call out. “It’s fine.”
“Surely you can’t have more than two inches yet.”
I glance at the water. I’ve never taken a bath in water deeper than this.
“Hannah, honey, fill the tub as high as you can. It won’t be relaxing if you’re not completely submerged.”
My eyes pop wide. He can’t be serious. “That would be so wasteful.”
“It’s fine, honey. We have plenty of hot water. I promise. Fill the tub. Also, I texted Adam. He and Rebekah are bringing over some things for you to wear. I’ll set them outside the door for you, okay?”
That’s a relief. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Fill the tub, sunshine,” he orders again.
I find myself smiling as I turn the water back on. This is a level of luxury I’ve never known. It’s hard for me to fathom. Filling a tub with water? Hot water at that. Mindboggling.
I relax deeper and deeper as the water rises. It truly does feel like heaven. I’m engulfed in warmth. I’m so exhausted that I fear I might fall asleep and drown if I don’t keep moving, so I slide under the water to completely submerge my head.
I shampoo my hair twice before putting conditioner on it, grateful he even has conditioner. Then I wash the rest of my body. Finally, I let myself relax and close my eyes. Just for a few minutes.
It’s impossible not to doze off. Every time my body slips, I jerk awake, but I don’t want to get out. When another knock sounds at the door, I’m so startled that I squeal.
“I’m sorry,” Aaric calls out. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just putting some clothes here. I’ve included one of my T-shirts because I’m afraid none of Rebekah’s shirts will fit around your tummy.”
He’s so thoughtful. I shouldn’t be surprised. The Gallants were always kind and friendly. It’s been so long since anyone has been this nice to me that I’d forgotten it was possible.
“I’ll shut the bedroom door so you can open this door without worrying, sunshine.”
“Thank you,” I say yet again.
I don’t linger much longer. I want to, but I’m too tired, and I don’t want to take advantage of Aaric’s generosity by hogging his bathroom all afternoon.
My favorite part is that there’s a hose attachment next to the main faucet.
I discover a knob next to it, so when I turn the water back on, I can rinse my hair with clean water instead of dunking it in the brown filth.
I’m very careful getting out of the tub as the water runs down the drain. The last thing I want to do is fall. That would be so embarrassing. I stand on the thick navy bathmat and reach for a towel.
It’s as soft as it looks. I’m spoiled beyond belief as I dry myself off, making sure my hair is wrung out until it’s mostly just damp.
There’s a comb on the vanity, and I use it to work through the tangles.
My hair hasn’t been cut since my mother trimmed it when I was a child.
It reaches past my butt. It’s a pain. Suddenly, I’m so frustrated by its length that I want to hunt for scissors and cut it off.
That’s a bit rash, but maybe Rebekah would cut it for me.
When I turn around, I find myself staring into a full-length mirror on the back of the door.
I freeze. I haven’t seen myself like this in years.
My stomach is so enormous, and it hangs low.
It’s tight, too. My breasts are twice as big as they were a few months ago. So are my nipples. Both are tight.