Abdicated

Chapter 24

“I should have nicknamed you Trouble, not Minx,” Aidon’s voice resonates in my mind, the first lucid thought to break through the haze.

I snap my eyes open and jolt upright. All three of my companions drag chairs inside and settle into the small space of the bedroom.

“Here, drink this. It should help.” Margorate offers me a weird-looking tonic.

I glance at Riven for reassurance.

He nods once, so I pour the mixture down my throat. It burns, but my body begins to settle.

“I restricted the apprentice. Are you considering it treason?” she asks dryly. It’s strange how only now, after what she’s done, she seems suddenly concerned about our alliance.

What she’s done.

What I’ve done.

What…

I look at the males; their faces are more haunted now. Aidon smiles, but the grimace is strained.

“No, she isn’t,” Jestin answers for me, and I’m not even upset.

Not after how I acted.

“Care to explain what happened?” I ask, though my voice comes out raspy and weak.

They look at each other for the longest time, like they’re having a silent conversation. Then Jestin shakes his head, muttering under his breath, “How had I not realised it…?”

He drops onto the edge of the bed. Aidon stays at the foot of it, while Riven leans silently against the door frame.

Riven sighs and runs a hand through his hair, and my stomach twists at the anguish in his gaze.

“Your mother never revealed the identity of your father,” Riven says quietly, voice low and raw, “because he didn’t want to leave his mate.

” He says it like it should mean something, like I should have known already.

I raise a brow.

“The rumours about who your father was circulated around the palace and around my camp. Queen Barbara shut them down each time. But those who knew you and your sister saw the difference. The slightly paler skin tone, those not pointy ears, indigo hair. Even the aura you exude isn’t normal.

You are a Berigander without an inch of doubt, but you are also something else. ”

How did he know my sister?

“She will die, won’t she?” Jestin’s voice.

“She won’t fucking die,” growls Aidon, before I can even think about the response myself. “We talked about that. She. Won’t. Die.”

“Please, explain it,” I whine, the tremor in my fingers coming back.

Margorate sighs, her gaze dropping to my fingers. I quickly hide them beneath my thighs. She sinks into a chair. “It’s a disaster.”

What the fuck are you thinking?!

“You’re a half ghoul,” Aidon says, his beautiful scarlet eyes lack any hint of humour as he drops the revelation like some kind of a terrifying plot twist.

“Absurd,” I burst into laughter.

They remain serious.

“What the fuck? Is this your idea of a joke? Revenge for my behaviour?” I take a deep, calming breath and level him a stare. “I am not a dirty fucking ghoul.” His sense of humour is the worst ever.

“You are. It’s the only explanation for why the Argorian root has such an effect on you.” He drips the words slowly, like I’m too stupid to keep up.

“Argorian root?”

Oh my god. It is the Argorian root. I am... what… how…blue… wicked entity... what.

“Didn’t she tell you what she was giving you? What was the price?” Riven snaps, stepping closer to the bed.

If I weren’t in this kind of shock, I might admire the way his muscles flex with anger.

“I don’t remember…” I say it, though the final word slips out as a mumble.

“The root suppresses the entity within ghouls, putting it to sleep. But if the dose is too high, it becomes addictive. The ghouls’ power wants more, craves more. It eats your Arken power instead, then your mind, then your flesh.” Riven explains.

Wicked thing…

“Do I even have access to the Arken power?” I whisper, horrified.

“You do. You showed it today,” Aidon answers. “You can’t wield chaos when the root is in your system.”

Ghouls wield chaos, not the graceful Arken power.

“I’m a dirty mongrel…”

Anticlimactic, isn’t it? Given how many times you called me a mutt? Aidon’s smile is savage.

“How the fuck did my mother manage to snatch a ghoul? The borders are closed, the diplomatic road is closed, and even fucking trade is non-existent. The Argos line and Beriganders don’t mingle.”

“Who is my father?”

“We need to visit your mother; maybe he’s high enough on the power tree to help us prevent the war,” Riven says.

“You need to sweat it out first,” Jestin says, turning to Margorate for confirmation.

“There’s no known case of recovering from the addiction,” she replies. “Most ghouls die from the overdose. It was a major issue centuries ago; their bloodline was almost wiped out because of the root.”

“It will be now,” Riven says, and the others nod.

My head begins to spin, like I’m trapped on a broken merry-go-round.

“I need more. I can’t stop taking it!” I snap. I can’t stop.

“You took too much.” Margorate chastises.

It helps me use my power.

“Will she sweat it out in time?”

Even in my incoherent state, I know the answer. It’s not enough time.

“I don’t think so,” Margorate says quietly.

I tremble, the memory of the hunger crashing into me.

“Karo,” I whisper.

Then it hits, sharp and brutal. The pain tears through me so violently that I forget how to breathe. I am in limbo. They add logs to the fire pit, but the warmth does little to help. Instead of feeling grounded, a greasy sweat runs down my frozen body.

“I should have known,” Aidon murmurs under his breath, wrapping me from behind. “I should have put it together.”

“Why should you?” I ask the first question I can think of, though I sense some big truth is missing, but my brain can’t quite grasp it.

“That’s why you have been different from the moment you stepped out of that ugly cottage.” He strokes my shoulders gently.

“I know you best. It’s my responsibility.” His voice is thick with anger, yet I catch a hint of pride in it.

Another tremor wracks me.

I grab Aidon by the forearms and dig my claws deep into his skin to hold myself through the pain.

He takes it without even flinching and strokes me gently in soothing circles. Even now, he must be weird.

I know how to fight mind intrusion. Maybe I can’t force you to leave, but I know how to hide thoughts if you don’t look for them directly, or how to change your focus.

My cousin was a mind reader. I think back to him when the tremor passes, desperate to stop him from blaming himself.

Seeing him like this, twists my stomach into a tight knot.

“Seriously? Smart girl,” he says and kisses my head.

Tell me something about yourself, at least now. I rest my head on his chest and absorb his warmth.

“You really fucked your grandpa’s brother?” Aidon asks instead, nudging his lips on my sweaty forehead.

Don’t even get me started. We are not human. Mixing our blood through family won’t make us weaker — only stronger. Those so-called revolutionists influenced by the human cattle, should be put down for spreading misinformation.

“Oh, I don’t know, you would certainly soil genes if you let that scumbag impregnate you.”

Don’t tell me you are jealous? Why is your heart racing like that? Wait. What the… You were supposed to tell me a story about yourself, not distract me!

I told you that I would get you what you need, not what you want. At least until you quit being so self-destructive.

At least tell me why you’ve stopped taking my blood?

“Riven shares his. After what happened, I didn’t want to burden you.” He fixes the duvet, covering us, but I don’t want that.

It’s getting hotter and hotter.

It’s coming back.… I can feel it waking… I know nothing about you.

Just survive it and I will tell you anything.

Then it hits me again. Another round.

◆◆◆

“I can’t lose you.” Jestin’s voice is broken, like he’s barely holding himself together. I can sense him at the edge of my bed.

“We won’t. She’ll get through it,” Riven states.

I want to look at them, but I can’t move. I am trapped in that miserable, painful shell.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“We have a problem, Riven,” a voice I know, but don’t recognise, says.

“Not here,” snaps Aidon.

“She needs to know,” the voice says.

“She’s sick.”

“Speak. We don’t do secrets anymore,” Riven says.

“Elemental army… burn the…” my scream drowns out the rest.

“We’ve run out of time,” Jestin says under his breath.

◆◆◆

I doze off and wake repeatedly, time stretching endlessly. I feel the towels on my head and the gnawing hunger. The different scents of the males around me, as they hold me in turn and the hunger. I remember a splash of water and the yelling.

And the hunger.

◆◆◆

I snap awake.

The entity in me, once dormant, stirs, flooding me with its feelings, but I can’t move, can’t act. I exist, but have no body, no eyes. Only… the storm and me. It demands something. It’s livid. It threatens to consume me if I don’t deliver. But what?

Root, the storm growls.

I know depression. Trauma. But this hollow wreckage inside me? It beats it all. With ease.

“Just let me die,” I plead.

Crying, sobbing, trembling.

My veins feel like they’ll burst from the ache of emptiness. I need it to end.

“Oh, baby girl...” A male places his warm hand on my face. My heart knows him.

“Let me die,” I whisper as another tremor rips through me.

How can I have no control over that broken body?

I call to my cursed power, in the last attempt to save something, but it’s unreachable, lost beyond a canyon I cannot cross.

Do I even still have the power? A growl cuts through. Aidon’s. My mind recognises him, even now.

PLEASE, I scream within.

A male pulls me to him. Jestin. His arms try to anchor me, but nothing helps now. Even touch is useless.

I’m done. I only want to rest.

You will fight, Aidon bellows in my head.

I need a blade, a poison, anything. But when nothing comes to my aid, when this torment continues, I scream, over and over.

And over. And over.

Raw, hoarse cries. At least till my voice gives up as well. Panic seizes me, crawling up my spine. For a second, my heart stops, then a gasping breath yanks me back.

PLEASE.

I’ve endured so much, but this hollow agony? It’s too much. I’d relive the throne room moment dozens of times just to make it stop.

To get some reprieve…

“Sels, please,” Jestin whispers, holding what’s left of me. Not much.

I am dying. The realisation soothes me like a balm. I’m dying. Finally. The end I’ve begged for.

Gorok will deal with me now.

Please… let it come…

No, you’re fucking not. You will fight. You won’t surrender just because it got hard. You will not leave me! Aidon roars out loud and in my mind. His voice echoes.

But I stay numb.

His emotions crash into me: fury, despair, terror, love.

“Sels, you need to sweat it out. That’s how drugs work. It will pass,” Jestin says.

I should have born an heir. Why didn’t my mother love me? Why didn’t Trisha? I just wanted to be loved. To feel safe. Why can’t I have another chance? Everyone is better off without me. Trisha should have been an only child.

It’s coming. I feel it. Like I feel all my subjects. Even Gorok is watching now, ready to receive his prodigal daughter.

Another growl. A door slams. Footsteps.

“We are at war,” someone says.

Gorok is shaking his head.

I need to say goodbye. I need to apologise. They all need to hear it.

“Maybe we should give her some?” A voice breaks through.

The hunger explodes inside me.

YES! YES! YES! It writhes, wild and ravenous.

“She can’t stay dependent. She needs to fight it off. Her Fae side will burn through it.”

“What if she dies?”

“She won’t!”

“I won’t let her.”

I’m so tired…

You will fight. Your mates are counting on you. The voice echoes in the void, but I’m already drifting away.

It sounds important. Life-changing.

But…