Chapter 17 #2
Dallas’s choking laughter echoes off his bedroom walls. “You’re not old. You’re eight months younger than me, and I’m not old, so that makes it impossible for you to be.”
“You’re a man,” I bellow with the grace of a rhinoceros.
“And?”
“Your balls aren’t shriveling up into tiny infertile raisins with no purpose left in life but to sit there and mock you!”
“Be careful what you say around my balls. They have ears, you know.” I can’t see his face, but I imagine he’s wincing—and probably cradling his nuts.
I toss my arm aside and pull myself upright, blinking a few times as I steady myself. Sure enough, Dallas is palming his groin through his jeans like he’s protecting the Holy Grail from marauders.
“My ovaries are choking out, Dallas! Not to mention I’m going bald and not sleeping right, and I’m moody as fuck!” This does nothing to temper his mirth. “It’s not funny.”
“You’re not going bald. You have fucking gorgeous hair.”
Aw, that’s nice. “Yeah? Well, not for long. Pretty soon I’ll be like Norinne with a dead rat on my head!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Okay, so it’s not a dead rat. It’s actually quite nice, but did you know Norinne wears wigs?! Don’t tell her I told you, by the way.”
His eyes widen. “So, none of that hair is hers?”
“No! She says she’s got every color of the rainbow and just switches them out when she feels like it.
She’s been wearing them for the last three years because she’s losing her hair due to perimenopause!
” I reach for the glass again, suddenly parched.
Why does drinking so much make you so damn thirsty?
“Peri-what?”
“Menopause.”
“But that happens to older women.”
“That’s what I said!” Dallas shifts his shoulder just in time to miss the water splashing from my glass as I toss my hand out. “Turns out I am old!”
“Wait, so you have this too?” Now you’re gettin’ it, Dally.
“Apparently! Oh god, Dallas, I don’t know how I’m gonna weather this without losing my mind.
Oh! Speaking of, I just found out tonight that I have unrelenting brain fog to look forward to.
And hot flashes that make you sweat through your clothes even in the dead of winter.
” Just the thought of hot flashes has me draining the glass in one go.
“I’m sure Norinne was exaggerating.”
“She absolutely was not. I looked it up on the drive home. And you know what else?” I switch to a stage whisper and point to my crotch. “A bone-dry lady town.”
Dallas’s chin pulls back on a loud gasp. “We need to do something about this!”
“I know!” We both consider my crotch for a silent moment. “But you know the worst part?” Oh shit, I can feel the sting in my nose telling me tears are on their way. Stupid hormones!
Dallas turns, his knee bent on the bed so he can face me. “Hey, it’s okay. Whatever it is, we can fix it.”
“No, we can’t.” The tears spill over, wetting my cheeks and dripping onto my ruffled top.
He takes the empty glass from me and tosses it on the bed before engulfing both of my hands in his larger ones. “You forget who you’re talking to? I’m Dallas Gamble. I fix stuff for a living.”
“Not this.” I swallow past the lump in my throat, not bothering to wipe my tears. It feels too good having Dallas hold my hands. “I won’t be able to have babies. Stupid shriveled ovary bitches.”
“Last I checked, Norinne barely graduated high school. I doubt she secretly got her medical license since then. The woman can sling a good drink, but a qualified medical professional, she’s not.”
“It’s true, Dallas. If I wait any longer, I won’t be able to get pregnant. My egg shop is having a going-out-of-business sale.”
“Okay, then let’s get you pregnant.” He shrugs, indicating to me that he’s the only living adult male on the planet who still believes in the stork.
Practicality has never been his strong suit, so I spell it out. “Even if one of the guys you’re flirting with ends up being my Mister Right, I can’t just beg him to get me pregnant on the first date. It takes time. More than I have, I’m afraid.”
But he only shakes his head. “You’re not listening, Shelby. I meant I’ll get you pregnant.”
I feel my eyes pop wide. “What? Why would you want to do that?”
“Why not? I love being a dad.”
Oh god, he’s too sweet for words. But this can’t happen.
“You’re a great dad, Dallas, and I know we’ve crossed a few lines in our friendship already, but that’s way too big of an ask.
” And way too much risk to my heart, I silently add.
I’m pretty sure seeing Dallas cradle a baby we made together would shatter the restraint I’ve been able to hold onto for the last twenty-five years when it comes to him.
Maybe I’ll get a sperm donor. I’ve always been sensible with my money, so I’ve got a healthy nest egg, no pun intended.
“You didn’t ask,” he corrects me, still calm as a capybara. “I offered.”
“And god knows, I love you for it, bestie.” I finally pull my hands from his, but only to lean over and hug him.
“Right back atcha, Sweetness. I’d do anything for you.”
He smells like cardamom and clean sweat, and with his arms holding me close, I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have him in my life, even if babies don’t end up working out for me.
I should probably follow Norinne’s advice and think about babies tomorrow.
“How about we get a midnight snack and fall asleep to an audiobook?”
He releases me and pulls back, holding out his hand. “Probably a good idea. I don’t think you have the focus tonight for what I had planned.” When I take his hand, he winks. “We’ll rain check for tomorrow when you’re not so titillated by turquoise.”
He helps me up, and I rummage through my bag for my phone before scrolling to my audio app. “Okay, your choice,” I say. “The latest Karen Smirnoff thriller or The Billionaire CEO’s Secret Amnesia Bride? I think they both sound good.”