Chapter 13 #3
The accuracy of my plea is unmatched by the heavy way my desire is sitting in my lower belly right now, standing completely naked in front of a man who I know better than to be vulnerable around—emotionally or physically.
I’m not in danger, per se, but the look in his eyes as he assesses what drips from me freely for him is carnal, at best.
But at this point I am a wounded animal, and if I'm his prey, then that's not the worst thing I could be…
He sits back on his haunches, not bothering to hand me the towel that's by his hands, that's by his knees, only assessing my body fully exposed like this.
"What's in it for me, doll?"
“W-What?” I ask, not coherent at all.
“You want it, you’ve gotta earn it.”
I shift, my thigh sliding in his hold. “How do I earn it?” My voice sounds desperate but I can’t change that tone any more than I can change how wet I’ve made his hand.
“Tell me what happened. What happened with the man that kept comin’ to see Liezel.”
Oh.
Ice slithers down my spine, snapping me from my horny musings. Of course Vert was just waiting til my guard was down so he could get what he wanted all along.
“I-I don’t–”
His thumb slides along the trail of my wet and I flinch, hard. “Don’t lie. I’ll be able to tell.”
With a big inhale, I think back to what I’ve said but it’s hard to think with his attention on me like this.
“One day he'd had too much to drink, maybe he had taken some sort of drugs or something.
Who fucking knows what was in his system by the time I'd seen him that night.
He was so pliant. He was just resting in the room I stayed in.
Oftentimes he'd nap there. He had a particularly long night waiting on Liezel, or whatever. I also stayed there waiting for her, and something changed.”
His face is impassive as he listens, no strong emotions but it seems like he’s bracing for something. Maybe he should be. “What changed?”
“That night, I don't think he saw me. He was too gone. Maybe his resistance was just a lot lower because of what he took. I just wanted him to pick me. You know? Choose me.” I sigh, actively biting back the emotions clawing up my throat, threatening to pull me up.
“I was able to get him to touch me, feel me, and somehow take my virginity.
Take doesn't seem right. I'd given it to him because he's the only person I wanted to, and it was good. I think. We were together, but Liezel came home and she was livid.”
Vert’s jaw twitches and his grip on my thigh tightens, before he grits out, “What did Liezel do? Tell me she did somethin’.”
I nod, though my head feels too heavy for my shoulders.
“He was still somewhat out of it. She didn't really know what was going on, and I…” I swallow.
“I never helped her figure it out. She told Racquelle what she thought happened.
Racquelle gave the order. And then he was gone.
I think I loved him. Maybe I didn't. What could I have possibly known?”
“Good,” he says, grip finally loosening from my thigh. “Glad that fucker’s gone.”
“I don't know who did him. I don't think it matters either,” I admit.
“Even his last words were pleading with Liezel before he was taken out,” A pitiful laugh comes out of me.
“Even on his deathbed, he didn't wish for me.
He didn't plead with me. Apologize to me. Why not me? He—” My lips tremble for only a moment, before Vert runs his fingers over where I'm trembling.
Though they're rough, they're warm and I feel it sink into my skin, down to my bone.
Closing my eyes shut, I can feel the tears roll. “Tears I haven't even had for myself, but tears I've given to him. That feels wrong and—”
“Sorry,” Vert says, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I know that can't change anythin’, but—”
“You're right, it can't change anything. The only thing it can do is start a long long line of men who have eyes for everyone else but me, and that's okay, they don't deserve me, no one does.”
“I'm sure you're right,” Vert says as he catches my jaw where a tear has just fallen, his tongue seeking the moisture and taking it into his own mouth.
“And I have no responsibility to care for what they want.” I bite out.
“You're right,” he says, nipping at my neck now.
“I'll make them all pay,” I say, my voice wavering now. The floaty feeling rushing over me quickly and thoroughly. He’s here in the room with me, taking me apart with no difficulty.
I’m helpless under the attention and desperate all in the same breath.
I wish that I could resist but his words and presence have weakened all my resolve.
“I know you will,” he says, taking a nipple into his mouth. His tongue rolling over the sensitive skin as his other hand holds my waist bringing my body closer to him.
There are more words I have to say, but I don't know that I can say them with Vert on his knees like this in front of me, especially when I've waited so long for this moment.
What he doesn’t know can’t hurt either of us.
It certainly can’t hurt me.
So I drop deep into this and let go.