Chapter 6
I wake up to the heavenly scent of bacon. My mouth waters as I try to fight to sleep in. Of course, my stomach rumbles loudly and I can’t ignore it anymore. When I pad downstairs, the smell is stronger with a mix of coffee.
“Mornin, sunshine!” Tripp is standing in his kitchen with nothing but boxers and a cooking apron with a cartoon female body on it.
Tripp stills as his gaze lingers on me and I self-consciously pull the hem of his jersey to cover as much of my very exposed thighs as possible.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks, taking a big gulp of his coffee. I barely make a coherent sound as I try to tear my eyes away from the broad muscles that peek out from the apron.
I settle on the bar stool in front of him. “Can I help?”
Tripp shakes his head vigorously. “Nope, no guests allowed in the kitchen.”
“Here’s some coffee and water.” He slides the cups toward me and I take it gratefully. Tripp tears his attention away to focus intently on the eggs.
“Not gonna lie. Your bed is the most comfortable one I’ve ever been in. No wonder the ladies want to sleep with you,” I tease.
“Actually, you’re the only one who’s been here,” Tripp says. “I don’t take girls home.”
My mouth shuts as my mind tries to wrap around that revelation. Every moment with Tripp feels like a whiplash of things I didn’t know about him.
“I got you something when I was at the away game. I was going to bring it to the Tutor Center.” He places a small bag in front of me. My brows shoot to my hairline as I stare at him.
“Is this a souvenir for our time together?” I tease, opening the bag.
Inside, I gasp in delight. My fingers grasp the handle of the mug. It’s in the shape of a naked woman with boobs and all.
“To add to your robust collection.” Tripp is grinning as I laugh. “That first time I was over at your place. I haven’t been able to look at mugs normally again.”
“ Tit’s perfect, thank you!”
Tripp places a plate of food in front of me and silence falls between us. My grin is permanent even as I take a bite and I groan at the burst of flavor.
“Shit, it’s good,” I sigh. Tripp is still silent. His face is unreadable but trained on my face. I wonder if he regrets bringing me back to his place.
“I’ll finish up and I’ll get out of your hair.” My face heats. He likely wants to get back to his life and I’m intruding on his day.
“No, no, take your time, Z,” Tripp finally says, his face breaking into a smile.
“Scared me for a second. You were so quiet, I thought you were having a stroke.”
“No.” Tripp doesn’t meet my eyes when he refills my coffee. “I was just thinking how good you look in my jersey.”
I freeze for a beat. My eyes finally blink, then he bursts out laughing as I flick eggs at him.
“I’m not gonna lie, Z. I like this new breakthrough with our relationship.”
My lips break into a smile. I do too. “I mean, we are kind of friends with benefits?”
“I’ll even make us friendship bracelets.” Tripp leans over with a goofy grin. My heart leaps a little at his proximity.
“I’m still going to roast you.” I say. “And not let you get away with things.”
Tripp’s face is dangerously close to mine, and I fight the urge to look at his lips.
“I won’t have it any other way.” His voice is warm. It tugs at me like it’s trying to lure me closer. My phone buzzes, rescuing me from Tripp’s gravity, but it’s cut short as he plucks the phone from my hands and nuzzles into my neck.
“I need you,” he murmurs against my skin. “Now.”
Funny, I need him, too. Yesterday was an emotional vampire, and my body is practically fluttering under his touch.
No words can even spill out of my mouth before he makes his move. He catches my lips by crashing his on mine, crowding me against the counter.
The urgency between us explodes, scattered, clumsy, and frantically delicious. Tripp’s green eyes darken. His hands and lips can’t seem to get enough. I match his fervor, our teeth colliding when we kiss, and he can barely get me on the counter and between my legs.
Something clatters behind me, the plates scratching across the island counter and glass rolling and crashing on the floor. Tripp is quickly tugging his boxers down. Not caring about the damage we’ve caused to his kitchenware that is probably worth more than my car. I’m adjusting myself over the edge of the counter. He disappears briefly to grab a condom.
He says nothing when he comes back, only his breathing grows heavier and his hands move under his hockey shirt, searching for my skin. Relief touches his face when he finds my breast.
My hand roams on his hard body and I yank his apron off. I whimper when fingers pluck at the piercing on my nipple.
We still haven’t spoken a word, as I need more of him. He shoves the jersey over my breasts, answering my prayers. His eyes greedily rake over them and his hands encircle my ribs, moving me closer.
His target starts with my clavicle before moving down, his kisses and licks trailing to my breasts, his tongue rolling, flicking on the piercings. I can’t contain the moan that tears out of me. It sends more heat down my spine and to my core. I let out another desperate moan as he moves to the next nipple.
“I’ll never tire of this,” he murmurs sweetly as I arch into him. His fingers shove aside my soaked panties as he pushes easily in.
“You are already so wet for me,” he smirks. “I bet this was soaked when you first met me.”
“You wish,” I growl, nipping his bottom lip playfully.
“Come on,” he teases, his fingers stroking that spot, making my breath hitch. “Surely you’ve had some thoughts on what you wanted to do to me.”
“I’ll never tell.” There is no way I can lie to him. I’ve definitely had thoughts before I started dating Eddie officially. He’s slowly dragging his fingers over that spot. I’m grinding against his hand desperately.
His fingers pluck at the piercing again when he strokes me and I’m blown away at how close I am to coming so quickly.
“Wanna know a secret?” he whispers. My breathing is irregular, short and I’m close. “Did you know you were in my head a lot?”
“Because I piss you off all the time?” My smile grows and my knuckles turn white as I grip the counter. He pulls his fingers out, the blunt head nudging at my entrance.
“Oh yes, but I also thought about fucking you,” he whispers. My brain shorts as he splits me open during his confession. Words are no longer coherent as he pulls my legs around him, barely leaving any space anywhere. He grinds into me as my fingers dig into his shoulders. The pace starts brutally, frantic, and my nails dig in, barely able to hold on. His eyes are hooded as they roam between my face, breasts, and where we are connected. Unlike last time, neither of us last long, our ends hitting us out of nowhere. I lose any semblance of awareness as I scream his name. Tripp’s legs threaten to give out, so he slowly takes us to the floor to catch our breaths.
“Come to my birthday party,” he says between breaths, brushing away the hair that clings to my face. He’s still inside me and I’m still clutching to him.
“Your birthday. I didn’t know you were getting old. No wonder I spotted some wrinkles.” I gasp at the playful spank to my bottom in retaliation.
“You won’t be able to handle my silver fox era,” he laughs in between heavy breaths.
We move to the couch, cuddling in the afterglow as I stare at my mug.
“Thank you for the mug,” I sigh, tracing the outline of the boob.
“You’re welcome. They remind me of your boobs.”
My hand playfully smacks him in amusement.
“Now, I need to find one that looks like your penis.”
“Good luck finding a mug large enough for that.”
“Unbelievable.” Our laughter fills the living room and I feel a lightness settle in my bones.
My phone buzzes, breaking the quiet of the moment, and I realize the time I need to get home before my appointment at the tutor center. Quickly, I throw my clothes on, Tripp, being unhelpful, watches me scramble, amused.
“You could help me find my other shoe,” I bite out as he lounges back, looking very satisfied. He’s still shirtless, his muscles on display for additional distraction.
“I enjoy watching you running around,” he grins.
Rolling my eyes, I finally spot my errant shoe.
* * *
I practically stumble home with a dopey grin on my face. My legs are still shaking from our “breakfast”. Summer looks up from her laptop, pausing from her furious typing as Duke is making her sandwich.
“Why are you so smiley?” Summer wiggles in her seat.
“Nothing,” I reply, grabbing my mug. It’s one of the plain ones. The boring gray one. Before I realize it, I collect all the ‘professional’ mugs in the cupboard.
“What are you doin?” Duke eyes me.
“Should’ve gotten rid of these ages ago.” The sweet sounds of the ceramic breaking and clattering in the garbage can is music to my ears.
I pull out my real mugs, my collection, tucked away in the back cupboard. The first one being my favorite, a design of hippos in dirty positions.
“Good for you.” Summer’s eyes are bright. “I’m glad you didn’t get rid of those.”
Digging through my bag, I pull out the gift from Tripp. Proudly, I clean and place it among the collection.
Duke sees it and laughs. “I was wondering who that was for.”
“Oh, you were with him when he found this gem?” I chuckle.
“Yeah, he spent nearly an entire afternoon in three stores looking for the perfect one,” Duke says, stealing a knowing glance at Summer.
My heart flickers as I stare at the new mug. I can’t imagine Tripp looking for something so thoughtful.
“Are you going to Tripp’s birthday party later this week?” Duke asks, sitting next to Summer, placing an arm behind her chair.
“Yeah,” I say. “And I have an idea for a present.”
* * *
The gift settles in my hand as I look up at Hockey House. There is a massive amount of people here and a sign for Tripp. A gaggle of people are entering the house, the sound of the music loud and upbeat.
“You look nervous.” Summer weaves her arm through mine, looking at me with concern.
“I don’t know why,” I reply, looking at my gift wrapped in newspaper and twine because I didn’t want to buy gift wrap.
“You know, I will say, you seem happier. Even that run-in with Eddie didn’t last as long,” Summer says as we stroll toward the house.
It’s true; I am much happier these days. “I guess Eddie was more of a suck on my soul than I realized.”
“I think it helps that Tripp helped you get your fun back,” Summer says.
“Don’t give him too much credit.” I laugh. “We’ve enjoyed it for what it was.”
“I know, but when you two are together,” Summer starts, “It’s like something else.”
Duke arrives at the entry before we can step in, giving Summer a searing kiss. I want to know what she means and I’ll ask her later.
“There you are, kitten.” Duke smiles.
“Hey, Duke.” I wave.
“Z.” He grins. “Tripp is in the other room.”
Tripp is decked out in a birthday sash and a crown fit for a bridal party. Instead of mingling, he’s in the corner with Adam. Dark circles are under Adam’s eyes and they’re red from who knows what.
“You’re going to be alright; why don’t you just hang. Have fun and try not to think too much about it,” I overhear Tripp say as he grips Adam’s shoulder.
Adam’s dark eyes land on me. Tripp follows his line, breaking into a grin when he sees me.
“Z, my darling, do you have any words of wisdom that you can impart to my friend here?” Tripp asks.
“Sorry?” I ask, moving toward them, amused.
“Z here has had a serious heartbreak of her own and look at her now. Still standing and smoking hot,” Tripp says, the wink sending flutters through me. Then his gaze flickers to the bag in my hand and I send him a knowing smile.
Adam grimaces. He clearly is not in the mood to have a conversation like this.
“Fuck off, Tripp, you’ve got your girl here now. Go enjoy the party and just leave me be,” Adam says, taking a deep drink of his beer.
He said, your girl . My mind blanks and I wonder what Tripp has been saying about me to his friends. I wonder if we are not seeing what everyone else does.
“Go away for a moment.” Shooting a glare at Tripp, he shrugs. It’s a quick moment, but I swear I see panic flaring before he rushes off to talk to another group of people. Blinking, I shake my head and focus back on Adam.
“Do you really want advice?” I ask. At first, I thought Adam to be rude, but now I can see he is simply shy, awkward, and aloof. He is handsome and displays confidence on the ice more than he does in real life.
“Sure.” Adam shakes his head. His dark eyes are distant. I’m not sure if he’ll really hear me.
“Time,” I sigh. “Time will pull you out of the rose-colored glasses and show you a lot about the person you were with. One day, you’ll realize that the person you thought you knew wasn’t there at all.”
“What if the person is still the one you want even after some time?” he asks.
“If it’s meant to be, then it is. Until then, try not to make yourself a martyr. There are billions of people in this world. It’d be a shame to keep yourself unhappy for the sake of one person who isn’t willing to give you what you deserve.”
Adam’s eyes meet mine thoughtfully before a burst of cheering erupts behind us. Elena has arrived and is toasting a group of the hockey players with her kombucha can. Her hazel eyes find me and she makes her way over.
“Did you give it to him yet?” She is buzzing with excitement. During my shopping trip, I ran into her and spent the afternoon chatting and looking for the perfect gift Elena was the life of the party. Like summer sunshine without a care in the world. A sharp contrast to my current companion.
“Not yet.” I feel my face heat. I haven’t missed that I’m the only one who brought a present to Tripp’s birthday.
Her gaze falls on Adam, who looks away quickly. “Hey, you’re the guy whose puck nearly killed me!”
Adam blinks before a tinge of pink appears on his cheeks. Clearly he remembers, too. His shoulder tenses as if he is bracing for a verbal attack. My brow raises, interest drawing me to this interaction.
“I got an excellent shot from that, you know, wanna see?” Elena beams her sunny smile at him and Adam looks terrified at her attention.
I take this opportunity to abandon them, knowing someone like Elena will do Adam’s dark cloud some good.
Finding the birthday boy is hard as the crowd grows. Summer and Duke are happy in their own little world. Duke being protective and actually laughing and smiling with his peers. Now and then I can catch them looking at each other when the other isn’t looking. The softness of love has made them such cute saps.
Tripp’s laughter is loud in the kitchen. A gaggle of ladies with hearts in their eyes surround him. His voice is loud and he’s eating up the attention. I overhear one of them asking where he had been and if rumors were true that he had someone special. Watching Tripp, he blanches at the question and shakes his head. “Nope, no one. Maybe later tonight, I’ll find someone.” He winks.
My stomach curdles unpleasantly. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I know what we have wasn’t what people thought, and the reminder was a bigger blow than I had expected.
Tripp moves out of the room, not before his pale green eyes land on me and then at the gift in my hand that I’ve been carrying around for far too long. Tripp’s brow furrows and, like a stranger, he continues to talk to another group of people. My chest twinges and the unpleasantness in my belly grows.
I decide to give him space, my confidence plummeting. Summer and Elena are talking excitedly and I step into the safety of their circle.
“Did you give him his present yet?” they whisper at the same time.
“No.” I can’t help but frown, the hurt a dull ache.
“Honestly, I think I might give it to him another time.”
“What?” Elena blinks, her brow pinches in confusion.
“Yeah, he seems like he doesn’t have time at the moment,” I say.
“Bullshit.” Summer looks behind me, trying to spot him.
“I mean, I’m the only one who brought a present.” My lips thin. “I feel kind of stupid.”
“Uh, Z, you idiot, it’s pretty clear you guys have a deeper connection than he does with all these people in the house together. He’s going to love it,” Summer quips, determined.
“He’s kinda busy with everyone else. I think it’s clear it’s not true.” I run my hands through my hair. The party has lost its luster, and I’m feeling ready to go home so I can think about how people are perceiving us. To process how I feel about it.
“Tripp!” Elena calls, waving him over. Tripp hesitates when he sees, but slowly makes his way.
“There you are! Mr. Social Butterfly.” Elena smiles, making room for him.
“Are you ladies having fun?” he asks politely.
“Z got you a sweet present,” Elena says, ignoring him while watching his features.
“Oh, that’s awesome.” Tripp glances at the gift and his mouth seems tight. Unease morphs into twisted anxiety and I suddenly want to leave.
“I can just leave it somewhere later,” I reply quickly. Elena’s and Summer’s gazes narrow, clearly sensing something strange.
“Uh yeah, give it to Duke. He’s going to DD home.” Tripp looks for Duke, who is nowhere to be found.
“You don’t want to open it?” Elena blurts out, eyes darting between us.
Tripp’s lips thin, and his jaw hardens with determination as he looks at me. “Let’s talk.”
Elena and Summer quietly exchange worried glances before Tripp leads me away from them through the crowd. My heart spikes, and my vision blurs and sounds tune out the surrounding people. It feels worse than when Eddie and I broke up, and I can’t understand why.
“Z,” Tripp starts, searching my face. “I fucked up.”
“What do you mean?” We are in an empty hall, away from the crowd. Shame fills me, then mortification.
“I shouldn’t have given you that gift.” Tripp sighs. “I don’t want you to think much of it and you didn’t have to get me a present.”
It feels like I’ve crashed, and I’ve been pinned down. Like a trapped animal, I want to leave, chew my arm off and hide.
“It’s just a present as friends . . . I .” The words die as I stare at the present in my hand.
“It’s okay I know,” Tripp says softly, his green eyes locking on the gift and I swear I see some emotion there. “People are kind of getting this idea about us.”
“I know.” I force a bright smile. Why is this hurting? “Think of it as a thank you gift. I think this will be goodbye for a bit.”
“Goodbye?” Tripp’s brow shoots up.
“Yeah, I think we had fun, and it’s time I focus on myself.”
“Z, I feel bad that my gift is seen as more than it should have,” he says. “It was just something friendly, nothing romantic. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be your friend.”
My laugh is hollow and short. “I’m confused. What is it you want?”
“Just us to be . . . friends,” he says. “I realize lines are blurred a bit.”
Like a puzzle finally clicking in the right spot, I know I was an idiot. I was idiotic because, in this fucking moment, I want it to be something more. This was the moment. I should laugh to assure him it is just a friendly thing. But I don’t.
“Do you ever want it to mean something?” I ask slowly, searching his face to ferret out the truth. Needing to hear it from him to reinforce myself that this needs to stop.
Tripp pauses a moment, his shoulders tense. “Z, you know me. I like what we have. I think it’s easier this way, without expectations.” He chooses his next words carefully.
“Do you?” he asks quietly.
“I . . .” My breath is trapped under the truth that hangs between us. Silence fills the gap between us. He nods, miserably.
“Z.” Tripp’s voice is low, steeled even. “I think we should end this for now.”
“I think that would be wise, Tripp.” The silence that follows is like being cocooned in a black hole. Everything is pulling in nonsensical directions and I can’t hear or feel anything.
Tripp doesn’t respond and, like a strange robot, he shoves a smile on his face.
“No big deal. Okay?” he replies. He sticks his hand out and I take it and I feel only numbness.
“Goodbye,” I somehow manage, and it settles hard into reality.
“I’ll see you around? As friends?” The hope in Tripp’s voice makes me want to scream. So I don’t reply.