16. June
Chapter 16
June
H eavy rain pelted the windshield, the splatters of thick water droplets wiped away and then replaced with larger ones before the wipers returned.
“This is looking a little dangerous. Maybe we should stop.”
“I can see just fine, and the car isn’t losing traction. We’ll be okay.”
Blood vacated my knuckles as I squeezed the door handle, my thighs clenched and shivering.
Carter reached down, pushed the heated seat option for my side, and turned the AC down. “You live in the mountains. How have you not acclimated to the cold?”
“It’sss nerves.” My teeth chattered, and my seat warmed, doing little to abate my tattered, over-sensitized system.
“We’ve got a few more minutes until we stop.”
And then what?
A repeat of last night?
“I need a bbath and a lllarge sssub sssandwich.”
“We can do that.” Carter chuckled. He slipped a hand from the steering wheel and grabbed his phone from the center console, handing it to me. “Why don’t you find a bistro near our hotel?” He ran his thumb over the biometrics, unlocking the screen.
Rain pelted against the car, and standing water splashed the undercarriage as I took the phone in one hand, my other locked in a death grip on the door.
My teeth chattered. “What... kiiind... of sannndwich do yooou like?”
A lopsided smirk lifted from his lips. “I’ll have what you’re having.”
“Cream chchcheese, crannnberry, and haaam.”
He frowned. “On second thought, give me a BLT, no lettuce.”
“So baaacon and tommmato?”
“Do I need to pull over to prevent hypothermia? I’m quite fond of the skin-to-skin treatment.”
I glowered and returned my focus to the phone. “Nnnoo. Wishful thinkkking.”
“A man has to try.”
Scoffing, I moved the screen around, checking reviews and their relative location to the hotel, then settled on a bistro ten minutes away. My butt and back warmed, settling my chattering teeth to a minimum. “This one has raving reviews. Apparently, their BLT is lllovely.”
“Who describes a sandwich as ‘lovely’?”
I shrugged and chuckled. “Prettybird360.”
“I feel like I should hand them a biscuit.”
Snorting, I typed the address into the car’s GPS and sat back in my seat.
“Whoa.” Carter’s hand shot to the steering wheel as the front end jarred to the side.
My heart jumped into my throat, my vision tunneling as my grip tightened on the door, my back pressed against the seat.
I let out a whimpered pant like a woman in Lamaze class.
“It’s okay. Just a little hydroplaning.”
“It’s not...” My breaths came in a rush, my head swam, my mouth parched as though I hadn’t guzzled a liter of water today.
Ethan’s vacant eyes stare back at me. Blood soaks the sheets around him.
Black hair dangles dripping with blood. Her face pale as the blood fills the cups below.
I pressed my hand to my chest. “I can’t...” I gasped. “breathe.”
“Hey. Hey.” Carter’s hand touched my back. “Just breathe, dollface.”
I jerked away, my palms balmy against my thighs. “Keep your hands... on the steering wheel.”
“Okay.” He pulled his hand up in mock surrender, then placed it on the steering wheel where it belonged. “I’m in control of the car. We’re okay, June.”
“No.” I shook my head, tears burning my eyes.
What’s wrong with me?
“Practice your breathing, just like I showed you yesterday.”
In, out, in, out.
My breathing leveled out, and the tightness in my chest subsided.
“Do you have these often?”
“No. Never.”
He breathed in a deep breath through his nose. “Okay. I’ll have a friend call in a few Alprazolam for you.”
“Alpha-what?”
“Alprazolam. It’s Xanax.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to be doped up.”
“It’s only temporary. Just to help you until you get settled.” He kept his gaze out the window. “I’m worried about you, June.”
Scoffing, I played with my comfortable sweats. “I guess you should have thought about...”
He dragged a hand through his hair, his jaw clenched tight.
He’s trying.
I let loose an exhaustive sigh. “Sorry.”
“Don’t do that.”
“What? I said I was sorry.”
He pulled into the parking lot of the sandwich shop and found a spot in front. “There isn’t anything you need to apologize for. I’m the one who messed up.”
My fingers moved over my cotton pants. “I wasn’t... I was apologizing for diminishing your sincerity. I know you care, but it’s easier for me to deal if I’m mad at you.”
He turned the car off, the rain slowing. “Cognitive dissonance is a very normal human response to what you’ve gone through.”
I shook my head with a genuine smirk.
“What?”
“Sometimes I forget you went to medical school.”
“I didn’t learn that in school, June.” He opened the door and waved me along, his hair dripping in a blink of an eye. “Our brain searches to confirm what we believe to be true. You’re experiencing a disruption in that belief because I’m not the monster I portrayed myself as.”
What did that mean?
Has Carter gone to therapy before?
Is that his ‘friend’?
I opened the door and stepped out—the heavens crying like my soul.
Rain splashed against my lashes, wetting my face and shirt. My shirt stuck to my shoulders as I put my hands over my head like a makeshift umbrella and ran to the overhang near the bistro door. “Wow.”
Our laughter echoed down the strip, the serious conversation pushed to the wayside as we watched others run to their vehicles through the puddled parking lot.
“That was a mistake. We should have waited.” Carter ran his eyes over the front of my shirt, lingering on my chest, then waist.
“Look at you.” I raised an open palm down the space between us. His khaki pants darkened at the bottoms, and his white button-down shirt stuck to him like a second skin contouring the defined muscles beneath.
He glanced down, grabbed the bottom of his shirt, and shook it out as though it would dry before stepping inside.
“I don’t think that’s going to work.” I laughed, and he glanced up, our eyes clashing. “What?”
“Your laugh.” He swiped at the hair stuck to my temple. “I’ve missed that sound.”
Butterflies hit my belly, and I swallowed them down as I walked around him, my back rigid. “And I’m starving.” My skin crawled like a million ants had taken up residence across my body, itching to feel his hands all over my body while my mind warred.
Carter hung his head, cracking my heart in two, then followed me inside. “Why don’t you have a seat, and I’ll order.”
A brow perked up. “And you know what I want?”
“It was easy. I just had to decipher the ‘chattering teeth’ language. ”
My lips curled into a sarcastic smirk. “Okay.” I took a seat at the furthest table.
The woman behind the counter took his order, her dimples stressed and deep as she spoke to him, a flare of pink on her cheeks, her lashes fluttering.
Was she flirting with him?
Of course she is.
Carter is...
My eyes ran down his tall frame, the shirt hugging the muscles on his back, his pants cupping his round butt. The tight khakis made his legs look like every day was leg day at the gym.
Smoulderingly handsome.
The flutters in my belly died out as my stomach clenched, my jaw echoing the displeasure in my belly.
Was he flirting with her, too?
I stood and met him at the counter with a smile. “Can I have extra cranberry, please?” Carter glanced down at me as my hand touched his forearm, his brows squeezed together as his gaze lingered.
The girl’s smile vanished as she gave a hesitant nod. “Yeah. Of course.”
“Thanks.” My fingers fell from his forearm, and I grabbed the cups from his hand. “What would you like to drink?”
“Coke if they have it.”
I nodded, gave the girl a sidelong glance, then filled the drinks, placed them on the table, and cleared my throat as I sat, my stomach growling .
Carter turned with two bags filled with our foot-long sandwiches and placed mine in front of me.
“What was that about?” Carter sat across from me, his hair falling over his forehead, his forearms braced on the table as his hands hovered over his sandwich bag.
“What was what?” I busied my hands, keeping my eyes on the sandwich as I unwrapped it.
His brow hiked. “Oh, dollface.” A smirk settled on his sensuous lips, causing me to pause unwrapping. “Are you jealous?”
I let out a dry laugh, my arms crossing over my chest. “No. Of course not. Flirt with whoever you want.”
He shrugged with a subtle chortle as he unwrapped his sandwich. “Okay. I will.”
My chest burned, a tight, suffocating ache, while the second hand on the wall clock grew louder, each tick sharpening like kids whispering too loud in a library. “Just not in front of me.”
“But then I can’t flirt with whoever I want.”
My leg bobbed under the table. I unwrapped my sandwich with a slight tremble, my mouth watering. “That’s not my problem.”
“It’s only your problem. I feel bad for all the women out there who envy you.” He bit into his sandwich and chewed, his eyes never leaving mine.
What did he mean by that?
He could have any woman he wanted.
Why would they envy me?
I snorted. “People don’t envy me.” Fire bloomed in my cheeks as I picked at the end of the soft bread, bringing a piece to my mouth, and nibbled.
“You’d be surprised.”
“That almost sounds a bit egotistical, Carter.”
He took a bite of his sandwich and pocketed it in his cheek. “You’re beautiful, dollface. Or have you forgotten to look in the mirror lately?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His chewing slowed as I sneered and dug into my sandwich, savoring each bite.
His gaze remained glued on my movements, causing my skin to flush until my wrapper lay crumped on the table with nothing but crumbs, my food baby distending my belly. “That was worth the outdoor shower.”
Carter swiped our trash and plopped it into the waste.
My eyes widened, and my mouth popped open. “How do you stay so fit if you eat like that?”
He crossed his arms on the table and leaned. “A special recipe I like to call genetics.”
My tongue darted across my lips. “I’d like that recipe.”
His eyes following the movement. “I have a room. We can pass them on.”
I let out a sharp burst of laughter. “God, Carter. That was so cheesy.”
His hand darted across the table and cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing. “It made you smile, though.” My hand cupped his, keeping his hold tight against me, his scent sinking into my senses, rewriting logic and reason. “I’ll give you every line under the sun if it’ll keep that smile on your face.”
I leaned into his touch, letting his hand cocoon me in warmth. “I might just let you.”
He sucked in his bottom lip, his lids heavy as I drank him in.
I’d be a fool to not let him try.
“Everyone seems to disappear when I’m around you.”
My heart fluttered, my pulse cantering into a dangerous rhythm. He’d found his way in, burrowed his soul through my walls and wove around mine. The air in my lungs vanished as I stared into his dark brown eyes. “I don’t want to regret this.”
“Then don’t. But if you do, I’ll help you every step of the way.”
I gulped—the conversation like a handful of keys, each searching for the door to my heart... and he’d found it.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Carter nodded, and we slid off of our chairs, his hand slipping down to the small of my back as we walked out of the sandwich shop—the rain abating. He walked me around the side of his car, opened the door, and helped me inside.
I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.
Rounding the front, he sank into his seat and started the car. “The hotel is just over that way.” He pointed to the left. “So we won’t have far to go if we want to come back tomorrow before we leave.”
I patted my belly. “I can’t even think about food right now.”
“There’s only one thing I’d be gluttonous over. ”
My lips curled up as I pictured an array of desserts as he backed out of our parking space and turned onto the street. “Would that be cheesecake? Uhhh. “ My head hit the back of my seat. “I could gorge myself on cheese—“
“You, June.”
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, just like that time at the Cheesecake Factory in Denver, when I devoured an entire Reese’s cheesecake slice by myself.
“I can’t get enough of you.” He stopped at the red light and leaned over the console, gripping the back of my neck, pulling me in close. “I think my heart would explode if I tried.”
“How many women’s hearts have you broken, Carter Morgan?”
He shook his head, his breath on my lips. “Only one. And I plan on gluing it back together.” His mouth came down on mine, our tongues dipping and sliding against one another. Flutters hit my belly as I leaned into him, my hand fisting his hair, bringing him in tighter.
I rose from my seat, my knees crashing into the console as I spilled into his lap, my ass in the air.
Hooonnnnkk.
We tore apart, our breaths ragged, the seat belt around my waist and knees.
“Hold that thought, dollface.”