8. Chapter 6 #2
Uncalled for. I won’t hurt her. Is that what she thinks? That I might do that?
“Can we forget what I said?” she asks eventually, biting her lower lip.
Something tells me she’s embarrassed. “No fucking way. What did you mean?”
“I just wanted to fuck someone, okay?”
Now I feel even dumber than I did before this whole conversation. Nothing fits together, and nothing in the world pisses me off more than not understanding. It’s imperative that I learn. That I understand. Everything is a puzzle, and only when the last piece clicks into place does it make sense.
An unwanted vision pops into my mind, and I see red. I choose my next words with care, but I speak them in a grave voice. “You wanted a one-night stand to grow up? Does that have anything to do with growing up?”
Zoe looks out the side window again. Her whisper is barely audible. “Well, it does. I’m twenty-three. That’s the only thing left connecting me to being childish.”
“I don’t want to burst your bubble, but sex has nothing to do with being an adult. Neither does your age.”
The fire reignites within her, and I see it out of the corner of my eye as she turns toward me.
“You’re only saying that because a different girl warms your bed every night. I told you, you wouldn’t understand,” she says.
Her words hit me hard. I am who I am for a reason. My analytical mind is working overtime as I park right next to her apartment. I turn off the engine and look at her, blinking like an idiot because that’s how I feel. Like an idiot.
“And no guy is warming your bed. Is that what you’re trying to tell me? That you’re a virgin?”
Zoe’s eyes widen. Is it because I guessed, or because she revealed too much? I don’t know.
Now she’s watching me like a hawk. Frowning. Searching for something in my face. “You’re not laughing at me?”
“Should I? Do you think that’s what I should do?”
She shrugs and looks away for a moment. “I’m a twenty-three-year-old virgin. A rare case.”
I grab her chin and turn her to face me. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re twenty-three or forty. Virginity isn’t a burden you have to cast off. The first time you have sex is a single, unique moment, and—”
“Don’t tell me now it should be magical with someone I’ll love. Fathers tell their daughters fairy tales. But you’re forgetting I never had one. I won’t wait until I love someone or someone loves me, because I might never get to experience that in my life.”
I knew it. I fucking knew it!
“I can always help you with that if you want to grasp what all the fuss is about.”
I clench my jaw because it seems it’s the only way to keep my messed-up brain from running away with my mouth. I can’t believe I said that. It slipped out accidentally, but I was serious.
Zoe doesn’t stop drilling those green eyes into me. Doesn’t say a word. I get the impression she’s barely breathing.
“Breathe,” I order her. “Forget I said that.”
But she either doesn’t hear my words or is ignoring them. “Would you do that for me? Would you help me?”
What’s a man supposed to say to that? I don’t see a good way out of this situation.
“Zoe. I think you should sleep it off. Give yourself some time. It’s easy to regret things; it’s harder to make the right decision.”
Even when I hear my own words, I feel like it’s bullshit from a jerk trying to buy time.
And then I hear the words coming from her lips, and I’m lost. “I’d like you to be the one I give my virginity to.”
Holy shit!
Those words unlock images I’d absolutely never allowed myself to see before. Zoe and me, tangled in the sheets, her hot skin, her flushed cheeks, mouth open in a silent scream, her body arching… The look on her face when she comes for the first time in her life.
It’s getting tight in my pants.
I take my hand off her face and clench it into a fist so I don’t grab her again. My thoughts need clearing. They’re dirty—which is how I like them best. But this is about Zoe. Ryker will rip my head off, and Ash will gladly cut me to pieces with her knife.
I gather my composure like shards of glass from a shattered cup. Her hopeful anticipation is unbearable. As gently as I can, I say, “Let’s go, Zoe. We’ll get back to this, but not today.”
She bites her lower lip again, and I feel the need to slip my fingers in there and free it from the grip of her teeth. All I do is open the door and jump out of the car.
The air is crisp, and that’s what I need. A little relief from the heat.
Circling the car, I open the door for her. She’s lost in her thoughts, and I’m lost in mine.
Two steps from the apartment building’s front door, I glimpse something across the street. My eyes narrow.
“What’s wrong?” Zoe asks, grabbing my jacket sleeve as I come to a stop. Then she follows my gaze.
Across the street, in front of the restaurant entrance, stands my father.
He’s accompanied by two other members of the Pact.
I’ve seen them before, but we’ve never talked.
Besides those two, my father’s talking to none other than Vice President Matthews.
His son, Aiden, stands two steps away from them, talking on the phone.
Father pats Matthews on the shoulder, and they both laugh. All five turn around and, one by one, step into the restaurant.
Through the large windows, I see the hostess leading them farther inside, and they sit down at a round table.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. This makes no sense.
At the final second, however, I observe Aiden turn to face us. Even though he has finished his call, he’s still looking at his screen.
Let’s call it a hunch. Call it whatever you like. But I know what’s about to happen.
In time, I grab Zoe, turn her away from Aiden, wrap my arms around her waist, pull her close to me, and kiss her before she can protest. A second before Aiden’s eyes turn our way and he recognizes me.