15. Chapter 13
Zoe
I’ve been battling my own thoughts for two damn days.
These fucking two days are dragging on forever.
Nights are the worst. And that silence…
One moment, I’m aware of what I should do. Stay out of it. It’s none of my business.
Five minutes later, I don’t give a damn. I won’t be passive anymore.
Except my decisions haven’t been the best lately either. Let’s just look back at what happened when I started implementing my little revenge plan. I’m the one who killed Jeremiah. It doesn’t matter how. It doesn’t matter if it was with my own two hands or not. He’s dead because of me.
He wasn’t a good man; I hated him and wished him dead, and he got what he deserved—but that knowledge weighs on me.
There’s something even worse, though. Despite how heavy this burden feels, if I could turn back time and change something, I don’t know if my decision would be any different.
Maybe it’s true that each of us carries darkness within us.
I feel like I’m going crazy in this apartment. Still can’t decide which way to go. All the lines are blurring, and nothing is black or white anymore. I need to talk to someone about this.
My first impulse is to pick up the phone and call Ash, but I hold back because that’s how it has always been. Whenever I got into trouble or faced a problem, I turned to my sister. That’s not how a grown-up behaves. Being an adult means facing the challenges that life brings to your doorstep.
Before I change my mind—I act.
Phone. Keys. Door.
This time, I’m not running away.
It’s past eleven p.m. I pull up to Feather. The bouncer standing by the entrance gives me a suspicious once-over but doesn’t comment on my outfit. I can only imagine that jeans and a sweatshirt aren’t the norm here. I understand what kind of place this is, and I don’t care at all.
“Desire” by Meg Myers echoes off the club’s walls. The music is sensual and draws my gaze to what’s happening on one stage. A girl with short, blond hair is dancing there. She’s down to just a thong. She sways to the rhythm, her eyes locked on one of the men. He shifts in his chair.
I’m not surprised.
Looking at the stage, I’m not surprised at all. If only I could move like that…
Shaking my head, I tell myself this isn’t the time to dwell on my nonexistent sex life.
The long-haired brunette at the bar gives me a big smile and a wink. “What can I get you, sweetie?”
“I’m here for Ryker Elliot,” I say.
“You know he’s unavailable?” The brunette sets down the wine glass she was cleaning, tosses a cloth on the counter, and turns her full attention to me. She sizes me up with her gaze.
“I see. Still, I need to talk to him. It’s important. Whatever he’s so busy with will have to wait a moment.”
The brunette’s smile widens even more. “That’s not what I meant. I was asking if you realized he’s a taken man. He has a wife, so you’d better get out of here because whatever you’re imagining isn’t going to happen.”
My eyes grow wide. This is new. I never would have thought his staff would stand as a protective wall behind Ash and Ryker. Interesting. If any woman ever thinks of getting close to my brother-in-law, she’ll have to get past a wall of his own employees first.
“I’m Zoe, his sister-in-law. Can you tell him I need to talk to him?”
The girl’s eyes are like a mirror image of my own. They’re wide with surprise. “You’re Zoe? Oh my God, it’s so nice to meet you. Ash mentioned you. Listen, I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad it happened. It says a lot about you.”
She just nods. “I’m part of the Ash & Ryker team. We all are, here. Wait a moment, I’ll let security know you’re here.”
The girl steps out from behind the counter and approaches the bouncer. His gaze falls on me, though he nods at the words he hears. Takes his phone out of his pocket to talk. Then the brunette claps her hands and runs over to me.
“Come on, Derek will take you to Ryker. “
“Thank you,” I say and walk over to the security guy.
He doesn’t say a single word to me as he leads us down a dark hallway and then to the elevator. A little while later, he’s already knocking on the oak door upstairs.
Ryker’s voice reaches me. “Come in.”
Derek opens the door and lets me go first. Once I’m inside and the door closes behind me, the first thing I see is Ryker behind an oak desk. He has three monitors in front of him, which seems excessive. I have three monitors too, but I suppose they serve a different purpose.
“Zoe?” Ryker asks. His face gives nothing away. If he’s surprised, he’s not showing it. “Everything’s okay? Did something happen?”
But I’m already looking around his workspace.
Dim light falls on his desk and the seats in front of it.
He has a huge TV here, a few cabinets, a bar, and extra sofas.
One wall is entirely glass, though tinted.
Like a moth to a flame, I head in that direction.
Standing there, I look down at the stage, the bar, the entire club.
From up here, he has a bird’s-eye view of everything happening below.
“Zoe?”
“It’s… impressive,” I say thoughtfully.
“I’m glad you like it.” I hear the scrape of a chair and know Ryker is getting up from his seat. He’s coming over to me. “Is something wrong?”
I turn to face him.
This is it. This is the reason for my presence here. I’ve decided to take action, and now I have to be honest.
“We need to talk,” I say. “I hope I didn’t come at a bad time.”
“No, it’s fine. Want to sit down? Would you like a drink?”
I pick an armchair and sit down. Ryker takes a seat on the sofa opposite me.
“Thanks for the drink. I came with a proposal, though I’m unsure where to start.” Suddenly, heat travels up my neck and rises to my cheeks. He can’t know why I went to the club that night. Nor can I mention Eli. This conversation needs to flow well without revealing too much.
“Take your time. I’m here for you. Does Ash know about this?”
I shake my head. “No, and I don’t think she should learn about it for now.” He hides his reaction behind a mask of indifference again. “It’ll be better this way. Trust me. It’s about that thing we talked about at your apartment two days ago.”
“I’m sorry.” He sighs. “Eli shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I don’t have a clue what he was thinking when he took you to that meeting. These are Pact issues, and I can promise you that you’re in no danger as far as that goes.”
“No, no. I’m not worried about that. You’re looking for someone who can get inside Veirix, and I think I should be the one to do it.”
This time, Ryker’s eyebrows shoot up. After a minute of silence, his voice is so quiet it’s difficult to hear him. “No.”
“Listen to me. I’ll explain everything.” Deep breath. Brace myself. And finally, I speak the truth. “I know… Damien Estrada.”
“You know Damien Estrada…” He echoes my words slowly, and I nod. His gaze is as piercing as a hawk’s. “How do you know we’re talking about the same man? I don’t think there’s just one person with that name walking the streets of this country.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I’m not sure. Do you have a picture of him?”
Seconds pass in silence, then Ryker reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He taps the screen and scrolls until he finds what he’s looking for. Then he turns the phone.
Even from a distance, the man in the photo is unmistakable. Chocolate brown eyes filled with hatred. Slicked-back hair. Hard features, an impenetrable gaze. He has the look of a mobster in this photo.
“It’s him,” I breathe.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I confirm. “That’s the Damien Estrada I met.”
Ryker puts the phone back in his pocket. “Are you going to tell me how the fuck you met one of the most dangerous men in this country?”
My throat goes dry, but I try to swallow. We get down to business. “I met him one evening at a club. At Maximus.”
Ryker shakes his head. “That’s impossible. I don’t believe he’d dare set foot in this part of the city.”
“But it’s him, Ryker. I don’t know if it’s courage or dumb luck on his part, and I don’t care. It’s him.”
I shift in my chair. Everything is feeling tight.
“Go on, Zoe.”
“So I met him at that club. We danced a little and had a drink. He caught my eye, and I caught his. I gave him my number, and we made plans to go out. That’s all.”
“Fuck.” Ryker rubs his neck. “That’s it? That’s more than we’ve had so far. Why didn’t you say that right away?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. At first, I couldn’t believe he was a cartel member.
Your enemy.” A laugh escapes my throat, and when it dies down, I continue.
“Because what are the fucking odds that I go out dancing and meet someone like that? Of course. Only I could be that lucky. To never meet a normal man again…”
“Zoe, that changes everything. But you’re a magnet for trouble—we agree on that.”
“And I’ve thought a few things through, Ryker. I can help you guys. Damien isn’t finished with me yet. We’ve got another date planned. I’m closer to him than anyone else right now. And we can save time trying to find out anything or get to Aisling. Use me.”
“Jesus. You have no idea what you’re asking me to do, Zoe.” He jumps up, walks over to the bar, and pours two fingers of whiskey into a glass. Downing the entire contents in one gulp, he slams the glass down. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”
“No. Think about it, Ryker. I’m close enough to him.”
In one swift motion, he turns and fixes me with a hard stare.
“You think I don’t understand that? For God’s sake, we’re talking about the third in line to power in Veirix.
This is fucking dangerous. He’s a murderer and a psychopath.
Do you know what he does to people who cross him?
His torture has made him famous in the underworld.
I’m—I’m no saint, and I’m not afraid of him, but I’m afraid of what he might do to you if by some miracle he figures out who you are, Zoe. ”
The door bursts open. Eli storms in. He slams it shut behind him, and his gaze darts from Ryker to me and back.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
I press my lips together but steal a glance at my brother-in-law.
“Can I help you with something, Eli?” Ryker asks.
Eli strides over to us, puts his hands on his hips, and glares at me. “I’ve heard, Ryker, that you have a guest.”
The tension in the room reaches a peak, and you can feel it. Finally, Ryker sighs. “Sit down.”
Eli obediently follows the order as Ryker starts again. “Zoe came to me with the news that she’d met Damien Estrada.”
“What the fuck?” He raises his voice, incredulous. “How? When?”
“I met him at Maximus one evening.” My eyes tell him to shut up. I’m unsure if he understands me without words, but I hope so.
“That’s not all,” Ryker continues. “Zoe came with an offer to help. She wants to be the mole we were talking about.”
Eli’s icy gaze meets mine, and I can’t move. It drills into me, intending to get to my deepest, most hidden secret. He doesn’t take his eyes off me.
Clamping his jaw shut, he shoots those lightning bolts with his eyes.
A shiver runs down my spine.
When he speaks again, his voice is low and dangerous. “Over my fucking dead body.”