22. Chapter 19
Zoe
When did things with Eli start to get complicated? Was it when I started seeing Damien more often? Or when Eli first stopped pretending he didn’t care? Or maybe the moment he decided I was only his?
Eli has always been in my orbit, never too far from me. Thanks to the spare key he secretly made to my apartment, he shows up every day. The only reason he goes home is to change clothes. And not always, since a few shirts are now hanging in my tiny closet.
Something has changed, though neither of us has the courage to voice it.
My last date with Damien, at his apartment, didn’t happen. At the last minute, I made up an excuse about a tummy ache. Thank God he didn’t press the issue. An hour later, a courier delivered a bouquet of tea roses, chocolates, painkillers, and herbal tea with yarrow.
If it had been anyone else, I would have found it charming. He figured it was because of my period—and delivered everything I might need.
Amused, I watched as Eli threw the chocolates in the trash because they might be poisoned. He couldn’t find an argument against the flowers, so he stared at them with pure loathing.
If he could, he would set them on fire with sheer willpower.
His alpha male nature took over, however, and he asked, “I’d like to take you on a date. Tomorrow?”
Speechless, I crossed my arms over my chest. Did that one bouquet do it? “We should avoid being seen in public.”
“This city is immense. What are the chances anyone will see us?”
I would say pretty high. Besides, I finally brought up what we’d both been avoiding. “Our deal didn’t include romance or feelings, remember?”
“Can’t a man ask a woman out on a date anymore without all this suspicion? What a fucking crazy world we live in,” he muttered under his breath and headed off to my bedroom. “We’re going on a date tomorrow at seven.”
“You’re the romantic one. Is there a specific way I should dress?” I teased with a smile on my lips.
“You’re perfect even in yoga pants.”
And with that, he was gone.
A chuckle escaped me at the very thought.
So it’s almost seven o’clock, and despite his assurance that I can wear yoga pants, I slip a pastel pink dress with a slightly flared hem over my head. I throw a short white sweater over my shoulders.
Girly. Lighter. Different from what I would wear for Damien.
For Eli.
“Perfect,” I say when I hear a knock at the door. But then I shake my head. This time, Eli isn’t using his key after all.
When I open the door, I have some kind of snarky remark on the tip of my tongue, but words fail me.
Eli stands in the doorway, hands buried in his suit pockets. A dark blue shirt hugs all the right places. I can see the outline of his biceps, his chest muscles, and his abs.
It’s hard to even swallow.
His blond hair is tousled, but not yet dry from his recent shower. And he’s clean-shaven.
My gaze wanders upward until it meets his eyes, focused on me. Aside from the spark that appears in them, I can’t read them. I don’t know what he’s thinking. And that saps my confidence. Does he like what he sees? What’s going through his mind right now?
Those darkened eyes slide lower and settle on my lips, glazed with clear lip gloss. Wanting to break the silence, I part them, but no sound comes out.
Seriously?
“Zoe.” Eli’s voice is rough.
And that voice does something to me… A tingling in my lower belly spreads with a force I can’t contain, and I almost moan. It’s embarrassing.
Only when his gaze meets mine do I see that I’m not the only one. We’re both affected this way.
“I’m ready,” I say in a hushed voice.
“I see… I mean—God, I’m not the best at this. And it’s your fault.”
“My fault?” I laugh because seeing Eli so clumsy, so flustered, is a sight worth all the preparation.
The corners of his mouth are turning up too. “I wanted to say you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
A blush spreads over my cheeks. My skin is burning in those spots, so it can’t be anything else. I thank him, but part of me knows that’s quite a compliment coming from him. Considering his reputation, that is.
“Shall we?” Eli holds out his hand.
I step out of the apartment and take it. It’s warm. And slightly sweaty.
He’s really nervous.
But something else strikes me.
Damien often—actually, at every opportunity—holds my hand too.
Yet not once have I felt what I’m feeling now, with Eli, when he touches me.
I’m not talking about the warmth radiating down my arm—there’s that too.
Our intertwined hands seem right. In the perfect place.
Where they’re supposed to be. Where they belong.
I don’t know if my thoughts make any sense. I’m a little dazed.
Stop getting your hopes up. It’s only Eli, who doesn’t do love.
“Where are we going?” I ask as Eli opens the car door for me.
“It’s a surprise.”
We drive in total silence for quite a while. I glance at Eli out of the corner of my eye and can’t shake the feeling that he’s nervous. I’m about to ask him about it when we turn off the main street and park by the ocean.
He quickly gets out, walks behind the car, and helps me out too. Let’s face it, the Escalade wasn’t exactly designed with women in high heels in mind.
Looking all over, I’m confused because I don’t really understand what we’re doing here. “Eli? You didn’t mention that I should bring a bikini.”
But he seems a little flustered, looking down, rubbing his neck.
Hoping it will calm him down, I place my hand on his cheek. Immediately, his blue eyes meet mine.
“Eli, it’s just me. Your Raven. Are you okay?”
A short laugh escapes him. “I don’t know.
Jesus Christ. Even when I was fifteen, I didn’t get nervous in the presence of a girl.
But with you, everything changes; everything’s new.
” He takes a deep breath and exhales sharply.
“Okay. I thought we could take a walk along the beach and talk about whatever you want. And then we’ll have dinner. ”
Now, I see Eli in a completely different light. Yes, he’s older than me, but it seems the opposite. Here he is, as insecure as a teenage boy on his first date. It’s adorable. He is adorable.
Who would have thought this is the man who can kill someone in cold blood, a member of a secret society, with the intelligence of a damn computer genius.
I glance down at myself briefly, but of course it doesn’t escape his notice, and he frowns.
“I should have told you to swap your heels for something comfortable,” he says.
“It’s fine. I’d be happy to take them off. It’s no problem.”
“You look hot. You should definitely wear them when I drag you to bed.”
The playful Eli is back, and we grin at each other like fools.
“Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit? Hold your horses. I’m not that easy,” I say between laughs.
“I didn’t say you were easy. It’ll be a challenge, but I believe we’ll get there by the end of the night.”
Playfully, I slap his hard chest with my hand, and my fingers itch to linger there a little longer. So, I turn away and walk toward the beach.
We do what Eli planned. We stroll along the beach, the cool water lapping at my bare feet. It’s such a wonderful evening. The sun is slowly setting, creating an orange glow on the horizon. The sea’s calm today. And so am I.
Holding my high heels in one hand, Eli wraps his other arm around me. We're taking our time walking.
Our conversation about everything and nothing. I laugh so much my stomach hurts. I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much. It seems like Eli has made it his purpose to make me laugh until I cry. And after the initial nerves, there’s no trace of them left.
It’s only the two of us now.
Zoe and Eli.
“I love your laugh,” he tells me happily, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Then he turns me so my back is to him, wraps his warm arms around me, and rests his head on my shoulder. Now our faces are level, our cheeks touching.
We watch the sun set behind the horizon.
This moment, I know what has changed between us, but I can’t bring myself to say it.
I’ve broken one of his rules.
Il Cielo is one of the most romantic places I’ve ever seen. Did Eli choose it on purpose, or was it pure coincidence?
We sit down at a round table, and thousands of lights shine above our heads, casting a warm glow. Music plays softly in the background. On the snow-white tablecloth, a vase holds peonies in shades of white and pink.
What surprises me most is that Eli orders a dish for me based on the preferences he asked me about. Let me clarify a bit. He orders fluently in Italian.
When the waiter leaves us, I can’t resist my curiosity. “How do you know Italian?”
“Surprised?” He grins.
“Intrigued. You’ve impressed me. It’s such a beautiful language.”
Eli flashes a row of white teeth. “I’ll keep that in mind. Later.” The temperature in the room rises a few degrees. “Seriously, though, I’ve always had a knack for foreign languages.”
“Do you know any others?”
“Just Italian, German, French, and Mandarin.”
Just? What on earth?
Now I’m so impressed I can hardly express it.
“Mandarin?” While I can understand learning the other languages as they’re relatively common, this last one doesn’t fit in with anything at all.
Eli shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “I was bored between classes. I figured it would impress the girls.”
I erupt in laughter because you could say he’s near to the truth.
In all this, I also see that Eli doesn’t open up to people easily. He doesn’t talk about the things that set him apart. Doesn’t brag. He’s ambitious, smart, and doesn’t go flaunting that fact.
Our conversation flows on completely naturally. In his company, we’re in a bubble. He’s genuinely interested in my life, my past, my aspirations, and my dreams. And I enjoy being the center of his attention.
We’re slowly finishing dinner when Eli freezes. His gaze leaves me and focuses on something behind my back.
I turn around for a second, but it’s hard to tell what has intrigued him so much since we aren’t alone in the restaurant. “What’s wrong? Did you see someone you know?” I ask, but he remains silent.
My mood turns somber because I have a sinking feeling that something is terribly wrong.
“Excuse me for a moment,” he says and gets up, placing his napkin on the table.
You can sense a tension in the air that wasn’t there a moment ago. Eli’s shoulders are straight, his jaw locked, and his biceps tense… It all looks like he’s getting ready for some kind of attack.
When Eli walks away, I turn around and follow him with my eyes.
Three tables away sits an older couple, a woman and a man. There’s nothing on their table, so I assume they’ve recently arrived.
The man, despite being much older than us, has blond hair slicked back. His tanned complexion suggests a recent trip, because I don’t think this is his everyday appearance. A tie hangs at the base of his neck, contrasting with a white shirt. It looks elegant.
The woman accompanying him is a red-haired beauty with delicate features and a petite figure. She’s wearing a dress covered in a million gold sequins. To top it off, gold high-heeled sandals.
She’s the first to notice Eli walking toward them, and a smile spreads across her lips.
She knows him.
Seeing her reaction, the man follows her gaze. His whole face lights up at the sight of Eli.
“Son,” he says loudly enough that I can hear him too.
Eli stops at their table; his knuckles are white with tension. He says something to him, but his voice is hushed.
Just like the woman’s, the smile vanishes from his face. He listens to what his son has to say. All his attention is directed at him.
Whatever is going on, the atmosphere becomes tense and awkward.
The woman looks around quickly to see if anyone else is listening, and then, her face red, lowers her gaze to her knees.
At this moment, I also don’t know whether I should do something. The exchange between the two men attracts the attention of other guests, their eyes prying. They’re hungry for drama, like so many people in this city.
To make matters worse, one of Eli’s fists slams into the table, and the vase of flowers wobbles.
The man’s eyes, full of remorse, also look down, his face etched with guilt.
After a minute, Eli returns to our table. You can see the fury simmering behind his eyes, a clear indicator of his rage; he’s breathing heavily. He’s making an effort to restrain himself, but the results are not promising. I get up before he reaches me and sling my purse over my shoulder.
“Can we go now?” I ask softly, standing face to face, to which he merely nods.
Eli reaches into his pocket, pulls out a few bills, and tosses them on the table to pay for the meal. Taking my hand in his, we brush past all the curious stares. He leads us with quick steps straight to the car.
Before I can reach for the door handle, Eli abruptly wraps his arms around my waist.
“Give me a moment, please. I need to calm down,” he whispers.
And I understand it perfectly. If he needs me right now for that to happen, then I’m here for him.
So, I turn in his arms, grab the back of his neck, and pull him close. His face lands at the base of my neck, right in my hair. He takes a deep breath and I feel it as he exhales. Goosebumps break out all over my body.
“This is exactly what I needed. You and your scent,” he says.
Another piece of the wall around my heart cracks.
And this time, I’m not trying to rebuild it.