38. Chapter 34
Eli
Ifind Ryker in Feather. Without knocking, I walk into his office and sit down in front of his desk.
It reminds me of the many times he has yelled at me for not knocking, but I never did.
This time is different. From now on, everything will be different.
Now isn’t the time to laugh.
Theo is sprawled out in the chair next to me, resting his ankle on his knee.
“Good thing we’re all here. It’ll be easier that way,” I say with a grim expression, staring at the desk.
“What happened?” Theo asks.
“I have to tell you guys something.”
I just don’t quite know how yet.
I regret coming here at all. But I have no other option.
Taking a deep breath helps nothing. Chaos reigns in my head, something I can’t stop.
“This—this is my official resignation from the rank of general.”
“What the fuck?” Ryker can’t hold back.
It takes a lot of courage to look him in the eye, more than I have at the moment. I’ve let my brothers down. But I couldn’t have done anything else.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “After you left Theo and Damien behind, Zoe let him live. Zade Damien Estrada was the fourth boy who’d been bullying her.
Ash couldn’t have known that, because back then he went by the name Zade.
He became Damien when he grew up. Either way, Zoe had a plan to kill two birds with one stone.
To help us as a mole and get Damien in the end. But he… he figured it out.”
I close my eyes.
Forgive me, Zoe. I need to tell them.
It hurts to say it out loud. It is also a scar that proves our strength.
“What I’m about to say will never leave the walls of this office.
Never. And you’ll never let her know you know.
She was stubborn, with her own agenda, and I was against their last date.
He took her out on a yacht. Gave her earrings and pressured her to wear them.
Knew about the bug too. And then he took her to the cabin.
Ripped the necklace off her and stripped her of her last protection.
Tore—” I have to stop for a minute because my breath is stuck in my lungs.
And I’m shaking. But I have to go on. “Tore off her dress, then her panties, and... He raped her.”
My hands clench to the point of pain.
The silence that falls is so cruel. It drags on, and I think I would rather one of them say something.
“Jesus Christ…” Theo finally whispers.
And for a long time, I see Theo losing control. His hands are shaking too. Just like mine.
“Fuck! And I agreed to this. I encouraged this.” Ryker covers his face with hands. His breathing is just as labored as mine. “What have I done?”
“You didn’t know. None of us knew,” I drawl.
“But that doesn’t make it any better,” Ryker growls. “I don’t know how to apologize to you. To her. Eli—”
Only now do I look up and meet his pained gaze. I glance at Theo and he, too, can’t hide the wounds this confession inflicts.
“This isn’t the end of the story.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Zoe left Damien alive in the basement, but I’d promised he’d pay.
He didn’t deserve her kindness or her mercy.
I couldn’t let him live to see another day.
So I set him on fire alive in that basement and left.
But outside, Zoe wasn’t alone anymore. Four men from Veirix were guarding her.
One of them handed me a phone. And it was Aisling on the other end. ”
Silence.
Even worse than before.
“What the fuck?” Ryker loses his temper. “What did she want?”
“She already knew I’d killed Damien. All along she knew we had him. She gave me a choice: either I give up my position and someone from her side takes it, or Zoe pays for what I did.”
Finally, I said it. I thought I would feel better once I did, but that’s not happening at all. The heavy feeling is still there. Inside me.
“I don’t get it.” Theo doesn’t hide his irritation. “What the hell is she after? Revenge? Why is she on Veirix’s side?”
“She said at the end to say thank you to the person who shot Nico. We made it easier for her to reach the top. Ricardo’s head is her doing, not Aiden’s. Now we know for sure she’s leading Veirix, our enemy.”
“I’m speechless. I—” Ryker rises from his chair and sweeps the screens off the desk in one motion. A sound escapes him—the roar of an animal not so much wounded as preparing to attack. Finally, he slams his fist down on the desk.
Once he straightens up, he stares at us with burning eyes. Each heavy breath strains his chest.
“I’m sorry, Ryker,” I breathe. “To both of you. I couldn’t refuse her demands. Zoe—” I shake my head. “I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I couldn’t let her get hurt. Please forgive me.”
“You couldn’t have made any other decision,” Theo reassures me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Squeezing it, he offers comfort.
“That’s true,” Ryker says. “None of us holds it against you. If it were Ash, I’d do exactly the same thing. You made the right choice.”
“But—”
“There are no ‘buts,’ Eli. We all need to cool off, and tomorrow we’ll talk about our next moves. Go back to Zoe.”
I nod but don’t move.
“And I’m sorry, Eli. If I’d known… I’m apologizing even though I know it won’t help anyone. And don’t worry. No offense, but you can replace a general, but never a woman like Zoe.”
I head home with a lighter heart. It’s not like I’m going to leave the guys to deal with this mess on their own, but I won’t be acting as general anymore.
The door closes behind me, and I make a mental note to talk about a new home. It’s time to find something bigger for us, for our new family.
The aroma of something Zoe is cooking in the kitchen reaches me. It smells heavenly.
Just as I suspected, she’s standing at the stove, stirring something in a pan. Stooping behind her, I wrap arms around her waist and peek over her shoulder.
“What smells so good, sweetheart?” I ask, kissing her cheek.
“It’s just chicken in salsa with pasta,” she replies, flashing me a smile.
Warmth spreads through my heart. I can’t remember the last time anyone cooked for me.
“Nothing you do for me is ordinary. Speaking of ordinary things, I thought we could do something simple tomorrow.”
“What do you mean?”
“We could go for a plain old walk.”
Zoe turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my neck. She watches me through half-closed eyes, with a small but charming smile. Her cheeks flushed.
“I’d really love that.” Her lips find mine.
I’m finally home.
And now, I know what that means.
My arms tighten.
If only I could protect her from everything that’s coming.