Chapter 5
FIVE
CARLA
It looked like a prison.
It was a perfect rectangle, just large enough for me to get in between the small bed, but not much more than that.
The corners of the room were rounded, the walls seamless and unadorned, formed from the same bland metal panels of the room I'd been kept in for who knew how long.
The bed projected out from the wall as a single molded platform, with no legs beneath it, no headboard, no frame, nothing to distinguish it as anything more than a flat surface with a small, thin, raised mattress.
There was no closet, no shelves, no windows, no light fixtures, just that horrible-looking bed.
Even worse, on the wall opposite the bed, were several things I recognized. The pull-down bar, the treadmill that folded out of the wall, and a bench that could slide out of the wall along with another bar that Lyssa had used as a bench press.
It was another cage like the last one, just solitary and alone.
I knew I shouldn't be picky, given I'd been sleeping on a hard floor for some time now, but I stayed frozen outside the door, unwilling to take a step in.
"A media viewing screen is on its way," Frankenstein said from behind me, my awareness of him heightened as I realized how easy it would be for him to just push me through the door. "Do you want to go in and lie down?"
Part of me wanted that, to just give in and lie down and not worry about what happened next.
The bed called to me with the voice of the weight inside my heart, a black hole that wanted to suck me in until I melted away into nothing.
If it had been inviting, or comfortable, or safe-looking, I might have given in.
But the thought of being cut up and used for parts was what had made me want to stand on my own feet in the first place.
Lying down in a room that mimicked a holding chamber for cattle collected for the slaughter was more than I could stand.
"No," I said, panic creeping into the edges of my mind.
"Okay," he said, his tone cheerful. "What would you like to do?"
His happy acceptance of my rejection eased back the panic and made me relax a little.
I wasn't going to be forced to go in there.
"I... don't know," I said as I turned toward him.
My gaze fell on the flap of skin where it lay over the edge of his scalp.
The whole idea was that we were coming here to this room so I could get away from people and he could go into his repair cycle, and here I was rejecting the whole thing as soon as we got there.
"Let me help you figure it out," he said. "Do you have any bodily needs that have to be taken care of? What is the strongest emotion you are feeling right now? Do you feel the desire to explore? To learn new things? To be entertained?"
"I still want to watch an alien show," I said. "It's just that room scares me."
"It scares you?" he asked. He peered past me into the room, understanding crossing his face. "It resembles the dross holding chamber. You are having a fear response because you believe I am lying and you will be trapped."
He said it in such a calm way, but I winced internally. Now he would get angry with me for not believing in him, for not trusting him, and then...
"Let me take appropriate action to reassure you," he said in a cheerful tone. "Please stand away from the doorway."
I took several steps back, being careful not to crush any of the purple alien cabbages that were the size of hefty watermelons.
Part of me was tempted to press on one, just to see what it felt like, what it sounded like when the broad overlapping leaves crunched, but I held back.
I didn't want to do anything disruptive or damaging.
He said I had protected status, and it was important not to endanger that.
Once I had moved back, he gripped the edge of the doorframe.
There was the loud creak of metal as it screamed and buckled, collapsing under his fingers as he dug into it like it was made of clay.
His muscles bulged, and with a firm yank, he tore the entire door frame away from the wall, taking part of the wall panel with it and exposing the white, pinkish tentacles that ran through the entire ship.
As he set the doorframe down to the side, one of the tentacles separated from the others and lashed out, wrapping around his neck.
It yanked him back, dragging him over to the newly opened gash in the wall.
Several others lashed out, securing his arms as it lifted him up in the air.
His eyes bulged in an unpleasant fashion.
I should run.
I knew that was the smart thing to do. I didn't owe this guy anything.
Even if he felt he was forced to follow orders, that didn't relieve him entirely of the culpability he carried.
I couldn't imagine for even one moment being willing to commit the kind of crimes he said his people committed, even if my own life was at stake.
Though the level of his guilt in my mind was directly related to exactly how much control his brain chip had over him, there was a part of me that felt like there was a chance that he could be lying, that he might still deserve to die.
He didn't have protected guest status after all.
I didn't run away.
I liked his smile. I liked the way my own darkness didn't seem capable of dragging him down. Everyone else around me either avoided me, got mad at me, or felt sad for me, like Milly did. He didn't seem to have any of those reactions that I'd come to see as normal. My state of being didn’t hurt him.
He was so cheerful, so happy to be free.
I wanted to feel that way.
He said I had protected guest status, and that those tentacles were the sensory system for the ship, so it should be able to identify me and not hurt me. I hoped that was the case anyway.
"Please let him go," I said, reaching up to grab at the tentacle around his neck. I couldn't reach it; he was too high up on the wall, so I settled on grabbing the one around one of his arms. "He destroyed the door to make me feel more comfortable."
The tentacle was warm and soft, and the moment I touched it, the movement paused. The one around his neck loosened.
"The ship wants you to confirm that my destructive action was part of fulfilling my task of providing for your needs," he said.
"Removing the door was providing for my needs," I said. "I don't want a room that is anything like the other one I was held in. Removing the door was a good start."
The tentacles loosened completely, dropping him down to the ground before withdrawing back into the wall.
He winced at the sudden impact, his injured leg buckling slightly under him before he shifted his weight to stay upright.
There was a ripple in the tentacles on either side of the wall, and the exercise equipment inside the room suddenly vanished, as if it were being sucked back into something.
They were replaced by a large screen that took up the entire length of the wall.
"You need to do your repair cycle thing that you've mentioned," I said.
"I do," he said. "But it can wait until you are satisfied with your surroundings."
"Help me find a show to watch while you're doing your thing?
" I asked. For a moment, I felt guilty for asking him for more when he was clearly injured and had handled everything, but at the same time, he was one of the aliens who had kept my friends and me captive on the ship.
I could appreciate him and feel for him and still feel like he owed me a heck of a lot more all at the same time, and none of those feelings were invalid.
He showed me how to operate the TV and even went in to take a shower before he lay down on the floor next to the bed.
"You can lie on the bed," I said, glancing up at the hole in the wall I had for a door.
I didn't want to feel like I could be locked in, but now I didn't know how I was going to sleep.
If I could at least have him between me and the door, it would be easier.
"Unless you move around a lot while repairing. "
"I do not," he said, getting up from the floor and lying on the bed.
He closed his eyes and stopped moving. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. He was still and silent as a corpse.
Even so, his body was warm and comforting, and it felt nice to have someone there next to me.