54. Chapter 53
Three weeks passed as if they were nothing.
She’d wake up, go to class, and come back to the apartment only to get right back into bed again.
Thankfully, January’s exam was simple enough for Liam and Ezra to complete while Maeve stayed with her, making sure she didn’t disappear into the halls below.
The others said they understood why she could barely function, but how could they?
They didn’t spend the last six months discovering that everything in their life was a lie.
Ezra would stay with her every night, likely hoping she would talk about it as she normally would.
But she didn’t have the words to describe it.
She shoved her notebook inside her bag, the page she’d flipped to at the start of class still blank, and it crinkled some of the homework sheets she’d yet to complete along with her Deadly Flora test, which she received a fifty-seven on, after which Silas attempted to offer her tutoring, but she shrugged him off.
She slung the bag over her shoulder, filing out of her botany class behind the other students.
Ezra waited for her on the other side of the hallway.
He pushed himself away from the wall, falling in line with her as she continued on the path out of the building. “How was class?”
“Fine,” she mumbled.
He sighed at his failed attempt to reach for her.
She couldn’t help but push him away, though.
It had nothing to do with him, and the guilt that writhed inside her was unbearable.
The fear of another secret coming to light was greater, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle finding another, especially if it had something to do with him.
He pulled open the front door of Sequoia, letting her step through before following her.
As she had done for the past few weeks, she turned right to go to Embry.
Exhaustion had already settled in her body, and she couldn’t wait to crawl back into bed, even if she’d only stare at the wall until night fell.
Something tugged at her hand. She glanced over to see Ezra’s hand wrapped tightly around it.
“No,” he said firmly. “We’re not going to Embry.”
Guilt swam through her as she noticed his tight jaw, and glossy blue eyes pleading with her. “Ezra, I do—”
“No,” he repeated. “I’m taking you to the lake.”
“Ez.” She tried to yank her hand back, but he didn’t let go.
He didn’t say another word; he only guided her in the opposite direction.
The next time he said anything to her was when they were standing at the edge of the frozen lake.
Snow dusted across the ice as the wind blew calmly through the trees.
“You need to wake up.”
She saw him staring at her from her periphery. “I am awake.”
“No, you’re not.” He reached out to her, grabbing her shoulders to turn her toward him. “You’re barely surviving.”
“What else can I do?” Her voice cracked, her gaze eventually making its way to his face. Only for him to turn blurry as tears sprang to the surface.
“You can stop being afraid.”
She blinked. Once, twice, and a third time as her brain registered what he said.
“Afraid? I’m not afraid,” she hissed, her brows twisting as irritation replaced her sorrow. “I am tired. I’m tired of living a life where all I’ve been is lied to! So don’t tell me I’m afraid.”
“I know what it’s like, Ivy,” he said, his voice restrained, but his magic spurring with frustration betrayed him. “Every single day I have to grapple with the lies my family has fed me, and you don’t see me giving up.”
“I don’t?” She scoffed, stepping back out of his grasp. “Ever since that press conference, you’ve barely been yourself. Yet you won’t talk to me about it.”
His jaw clenched, and he dropped his attention to the ground for a moment. She waited for him to say something. Anything. He brought his eyes back to hers, his lips curling into a small frown.
“It’s the same reason you’ve been silent for the last three weeks,” he muttered, closing the difference between them.
“I don’t know how to talk about it. I can barely wrap my head around it, let alone how to do that for someone else.
But that’s not me giving up. You’re barely eating.
You’re not doing assignments. You…” he stopped himself, sliding his hand down his jaw.
She glared at him. “I’m what?”
“You’re wasting the time you have left.”
Her jaw clenched. Tears welled again. It was the truth. And even though it was the only thing she wanted in the world right now, she hated hearing it.
“We’ve all seen them watching you.” His voice was thick, as if he were trying to hold those words back but couldn’t control them.
“It’s obvious you’re their next target, and we’ve been doing what we can to prevent it from happening and coming up with plans if it does. But goddamnit, Ivy, we need you, too.”
His hand cupped her face, his thumb brushing along her cheekbone and wiping the tears that were now falling. “I need you,” he whispered. “I need you back, and fighting, because I don’t want to think of what this world would be like without you in it.”
As she took a sharp breath, a cry ripped through her throat. “I’m so tired of being lied to,” she sobbed. She curled into him, falling into the comfort he’d been trying to give, and she cried harder as he wrapped her in his arms.
“Then find the truth,” he told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Even if it’s hard to hear.”
After bringing her to the lake, Ezra took her to the café on campus for a snack and a chance for her to catch up on some of her assignments before her last class of the day.
For the first time in weeks, it was as if her mind was working again now that she had finally cried it all out.
It didn’t solve all of her problems, but what Ezra had said got through to her.
Time was running out, and she could either fight and be taken, or stay in a mindless stasis and be taken anyway.
So she was choosing to fight.
Once she got to her botany lab, she placed her bag on the lab seat, keeping it off the messy garden lab table, digging through it for her notebook and pencil when she felt a glass vial at the bottom.
When she pulled it out, the few drops of the potion she’d taken from Abbott’s lab swished gently in the glass.
Whatever ingredients were being used must have come from this greenhouse.
She searched around inconspicuously. With no records, there was no way to know what was in it, and she doubted Abbott would allow her to use the equipment outside of class.
She glanced over at Thorne, who sat at her desk at the front, poring over some papers.
The professor must keep an inventory or, at a minimum, a log of orders, and they’d likely be in the greenhouse somewhere.
Ivy walked down the line of wide wooden tables, stepping over empty soil bags and dropped trowels. The place was a mess.
“Excuse me, Professor?” Ivy said as she neared the desk.
Thorne looked up, her pencil bumping against her glasses as she did. “Ah, yes, Ivy?”
“Are there any opportunities for extra credit?”
Her brow furrowed as she pursed her lips. “Sadly, I don’t typically offer that.”
“It’s just…my grades are slipping, which I’m trying to remedy,” she said, clasping her hands in front of her.
“When I graduate from Arcania, I hope to have my own greenhouse one day where I can grow rare ingredients to run my own apothecary. If I could spend an extra hour or two here, I think it would help me prepare for the future. Even if it’s only cleaning rather than tending to the plants. ”
“You’re quite an ambitious student,” Thorne said warmly. “I’m sure we can arrange a few times during the semester for you to come by. As long as you promise to enjoy the free time you have. Life isn’t always as carefree as university is.”
She held back a laugh. Her time here has been anything but carefree. “Thank you. Could I come tonight after dinner, around eight?”
Thorne shrunk slightly, her mouth smiling less widely.
“Just to clean,” she added quickly, gesturing to the surrounding mess. “I won’t touch any of the plants until you show me your process.”
The professor tilted her head side to side, weighing her answer. “Alright,” she said. “I have an appointment directly after my last class tonight, so I won’t have a chance to clean up before tomorrow. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”
Ivy beamed. “Thanks again, Professor, for this opportunity.”
Before she could return to her desk, Thorne called her attention back. “Oh, and Ivy? Should you enjoy tending to the greenhouse, perhaps next year we can see to a work-study position?”
“Really?” A smidge of guilt wormed through her.
The only reason she was asking for extra credit was to snoop around.
But Thorne seemed genuine about her offer, and there was an inkling of truth behind Ivy’s reasoning for seeking extra credit.
Besides, she probably wouldn’t get a position back with Abbott.
She’d be surprised if she’d pass this semester’s class.
“Of course.” Thorne grinned, picking her pencil back up. “You’re a promising student.”
“Thank you.” Her voice cracked a little, and she returned to her table. Now all she needed to do was get away from her babysitters, a.k.a. her friends. Like Ezra said, she needed to find the truth, and she couldn’t do that if she was wrapped in metaphorical bubble wrap.