Chapter 22
Libby
Don’t mind the mess. Our kids are feral.
The sign on Jonie’s front door, right next to the No soliciting unless you have Thin Mints sign always makes me giggle.
I love going to Joni’s. Even if it’s messy and loud.
Her kids are usually running around in a thousand directions, leaving Nerf bullets and Goldfish crackers in their wake.
Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever left her home without at least one Capri Sun straw wrapper stuck to my shoe.
But the craziness is part of what I love.
It’s full. And all those things, the things that drive her crazy, wear her husband out and cause her to need wine Bingo every week are the characteristics of family. It makes my heart both swell and ache. But the latter, I choose to ignore. And numb with a glass of box wine upon walking inside.
“So, where’s he taking you?” Joni asks, reaching for two wine glasses from the high shelf of her white cabinets.
Her husband comes up behind her to help her and Joni looks annoyed.
Not at him, more at the fact she’s too short to reach the third shelf up.
He smiles. Then he swats her on the ass.
She snacks his hand. He winks and walks away, picking up toys off the floor as he makes his way into the living room just in time to catch a child flying off the couch like a bird.
“I think he said the Social.”
“Stop! That swanky little seafood place by the aquarium. Did you hear that honey? They’re going to the Social!”
“Fancy,” he calls back.
“Yeah so I’m going to need something to wear,” I say, taking a sip of my wine. For some reason I am nervous.
“You mean your Beetlejuice striped dress isn’t going to cut it?” She jokes and I look down at the black and white dress I have on and then flip her off.
“That was the bad finger!” one of the kids calls out, followed by the others going, “Ooooo!”
“Let’s go to my room. I’ll find you something that’ll knock his argyle socks right off.”
“I still can’t believe that Jax from your one and done dating app date and Daxton Hemingway are the same person,” Joni lets out as soon as she closes her bedroom door. While she heads to the closet, I sit down on her bed, sipping my wine.
“I know. Wild right?”
“I swear,” she calls back from somewhere deep inside her wardrobe.
I can hear her pulling hangers and for some reason, it’s making me even more nervous.
“If you had told me that your evil new boss and the hottest single dad slash bachelor were the same person, well, I wouldn’t have believed you.
But I guess grief does change a person, doesn’t it?
” Joni reappears with no less than seven dresses, all fancier than anything I own.
“Jesus. How do you have so many? You never go out.”
“I used to. Before kids. These are all retired. But I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them.
I guess I like to tell myself that someday I’ll find someone crazy enough to babysit all my children for a decent price and we will be able to go out again.
Honestly, I think I just keep some of them because of what they cost.”
“You know I’d watch your kids anytime. For free,” I tell her, sifting through the dresses. “And then you two can go out and dance and eat and drink like you’re twenty-one again. It would be like old times.”
“Yeah that sounds nice,” she smiles. “Except that I don’t think I’d be doing much drinking.”
“Really?” I ask. “You?”
Joni just smiles, her hand slowly moving to her belly.
“Oh. Oh! Oh my god, Jo, are you–?”
She nods. “I mean. It’s official but I’ve been through this enough time that I am pretty sure.
The smell of popcorn makes me nauseous and that’s my dead giveaway every time.
That and iced tea tastes like fish which is exactly what I kept telling the waitress at the steakhouse when I was pregnant with my first.”
“When did it happen?” I ask. Because the way she says it is like it was an accident. Like it was unexpected. Like it’s easy.
I take a sip of wine and ignore the acid in my stomach.
“Let’s just say that last Bingo night had more payouts than just potted plants if you know what I’m saying.”
I force a laugh and down more wine.
“Alright, enough about my womb. I wanna see a fashion show.”
“Are you serious?” I whine.
“Hell yeah. God knows they won’t fit me in the next decade. Now strut. We have less than an hour to find something he’ll want to rip off with his teeth. But don’t let him do that. Seriously, these dresses were not cheap.”
For the next thirty minutes I humor my best friend, trying on dress after dress, walking, turning, bending over, all things she swears are pivotal to a perfect date night outfit.
“I really like the black,” she says. “It’s sultry and it says I want you but I’m a classy bitch so you’re going to have to work for it.”
“Really? I was kind of leaning towards the green one myself,” I say in reference to a high-low emerald halter dress, even though it would show a lot of my back. But the waistline is thick, making me look less thick, and I don’t hate that at all.
“It is lovely, isn’t it?” she grins. “I got that one during a sale at the Southend Mall.”
I realize then that there is still a tag on it and I take a peek at the price. Then I almost choke.
“Holy shit, Jo. You paid that?”
“Hell no. I waited until it was on clearance. Are you kidding? My better half in there would barbeque me for the neighborhood block party if I paid that.”
“Well, I don’t feel like I should wear it if you haven’t had the chance yet,” I say, running my fingers over the glittery fabric. It’s truly stunning and would bring out the flecks of green in my eyes.
“Why the hell not? Like I said, I’m not going anywhere worthy of that dress anytime soon.”
“And you’re not going to return it?” I ask. “You could literally buy one of those self-soothing bassinets with what it’s worth.”
“You kidding? I could furnish half the damn nursery for what it’s worth. But for real, Libby. I think you should wear it. In fact…” She walks over and grabs the dress, then yanks the tag out. “It’s yours.”
My mouth drops but she just smiles.
“But you have to do me a favor,” she goes on. I look up at her, and she sits down next to me, putting her hand on mine. “Have fun on this date. Let him spoil you. Flirt with him. Do what comes naturally. But most of all, know your worth.”
I bite my lips and swallow hard. She knows what I am thinking. And she addresses it.
“He’s not your ex, Libby. There are good men out there. Trust me, I found one.”
On cue we hear her husband stomping through the house, his deep voice roaring, “FEE, FI, FO, FUM!” It makes all the kids shriek and their little feet scramble across the floor.
“You were lucky,” I say with a smile.
“You can be too,” she tells me, and we hug.
I pull up to my apartment and take a deep breath.
Then I open the visor mirror and check my makeup.
I’m wearing more than I usually do, but not too much.
My heart feels like it’s on fast forward, racing and sporadic and yet, I’m excited.
I don’t know why. It’s not like I haven’t been out with him before.
But maybe that is why. Our first date was…something else. Something that I knew (or so thought) was a one-time thing. So, I tucked it away and told myself to cherish it. To compare and contrast the differences between Dax and Shane. And to hold that bar for anyone to come.
But right now, I’m not thinking about anyone else. As I get out of my car and head for the stairs, I have only one person on my mind. And that person just pulled up to the curb in a sleek, black Mercedes.
And my breath catches in my throat.
I watch, blinking a few times, as Dax gets out of the car.
He’s wearing dark blue slacks fitted enough to show off his quad muscles and let me tell you, they are glorious.
He’s also sporting a white button down, the top three buttons open and the sleeves rolled up.
His hair, which has definitely gotten a little longer, is sleeked back and the start of a very manicured beard is starting to come in. Dark blonde with flecks of silver.
In other words? He looks fine.
But the thing that stops my heart all together, the thing that has my lips screwing into a smile that I can’t help, is the way he is looking at me.
Hands casually slipped into the pockets of his slacks.
Jaw bones clenching and unclenching because he too is trying not to smile too big.
Because it’s silly in a way that two people over the age of twenty-five who have known each other for months, been out on a date already, slept together already, and worked together against their will…
could be this giddy simply to go to a restaurant by the ocean.
“You look…” he trails off searching for the word and in the process, the grin does in fact win the battle and spreads across his handsome face.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I say, twirling my dress in place a little because it just feels like the right thing to do.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
I nod and Dax walks up the steps, holding out his arm. I place my hand in the crook of his elbow, and we start to the car. As we walk, he smiles over, kissing me on the cheek and then softly saying, “Beautiful.”
And as he opens the door for me and watches me slip into the black leather seat of his car, rounding to his side, tossing the keys in the air, and catching them again, I wonder if this is what it was supposed to feel like all along.