Chapter 28
Damien
“It means nothing.”
Diego and I are grabbing coffee at work because when I got there today, though I saw Annelise’s car in her spot, she wasn’t waiting for me in my office as usual.
“You went to her house?” Diego says a little louder than I’d prefer, and I shoot him a death stare before stirring the splash of cream into my Americano.
“To vet her,” I say as I toss the stir stick into the garbage can.
“Over a month into her employment?” he sniggers. “Okay, boss.”
“I needed to get a better idea of who she is,” I snap back. “If she is going to be my personal assistant, I need to know everything about her.”
“Was her resume that vague?” he asks.
“No. It was very detailed. I just…” I’m stuttering. I fucking hate stuttering. Only idiots stutter. I take a swig of my coffee, blaming it on the lack of caffeine.
“You just…”
“I didn’t read her resume until Friday,” I admit as quietly as possible. Diego, on the other hand, is anything but discrete and lets out a hearty laugh.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Listen,” I say to him. I’m pretty sure every employee of mine within a twenty-five-foot radius startles and starts working harder.
“I have a lot on my plate. It’s not nothing running a hotel like this, not to mention keeping an eye on the sister hotels.
I hire people to do the vetting. She made the cut, came in for her interview, and I could tell she was right for the job. ”
“I’m sure you could,” he continues to jab, and I continue to glare. “Listen, boss. I don’t really care what your process is, but I do think it’s a little weird that you hired Ellie blindly.”
“Don’t call her that,” I snap.
“Ellie? But everyone calls her that. I bet if you looked on her resume, it probably says that she insists on being called that. Jesus,” he shakes his head, and I do my best to simmer down, not just because we are in the lobby surrounded by workers and guests, but because I don’t like Diego thinking he has an edge on me.
“You want to know what I think?” he goes on as we make our way back to the elevator.
“Not really, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway,” I answer.
“I think it’s finally happening,” Diego grins.
“What’s finally happening? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You like your assistant,” he states.
I take a casual sip of my coffee, that for whatever reason doesn’t taste as good today.
Maybe because Annelise didn’t make it.
“Of course I like her. She’s good at her job.”
“You know that’s not what I mean. I think for the first time maybe ever, you’re interested in someone.”
“You’re out of your fucking mind,” I smirk, only because I don’t want all the guests around us to think that I’m a prick. I do have to save face, even if PR isn’t my job.
“Just admit it already, D. You’re falling for Ellie.”
Everything about the sentence pisses me off, and I make a point of closing the elevator door before anyone else can come inside.
“You’re out of line,” I snap. “I do not have feelings for her.”
“Are you sure about that? Because I’ve seen the way you look at her. The way you act around her. The way you take care of her.”
“She doesn’t have a lot,” I tell him. “She’s a single mom.”
I wasn’t planning on admitting the last part to him. I also have no intention of telling him that Annelise is the girl I fucked over five years ago at the gala. I will omit that for now. It would only give him more ammo in his argument, even if he is wrong on all counts.
“Damn,” he says while clicking his tongue. “Or should I say, a damsel in distress?”
“She’s not that either. Look, I hired her because she’s smart and good at her job. I can detect competency right out the gate.”
“I believe that, boss,” Diego says as he sucks on his iced coffee. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t developing feelings for her.”
“I do not have feelings for my assistant!” I thunder just as the door opens. Diego only continues to smirk, following me to my office. I know he’s not about to drop the conversation, so I close the door behind us.
“I don’t understand why you fight it so much. Everyone falls in love at some point in their lives. Most people do it more than once. Why the denial?”
“I’m not in denial because I’m not in love,” I state. “I never have been, and I never will be.”
“How do you figure?” he asks.
“Because I don’t allow it,” I answer.
Diego studies me for a moment. This man is my best friend. He is the closest anyone has ever gotten to being someone I care about. But even he can’t break the armor, even if he does know what’s under it.
“Not everyone loses the one they love, D,” he says softly, and my jaw vice grips.
“Those statistics can’t be proven,” I say. “…and when it does happen, it either breaks people or makes them hard. My father was hard.”
“And you broke.”
My eyes do their best to assault him, but for every wall I have, Diego seems to have a sledgehammer handy. “I was a kid.”
“Listen, Damien. All I’m saying is if you have feelings for Ellie–”
“I don’t.”
“But if you did…fighting it is useless because feelings grow. They’re never stagnant. They’re like an itch. An itch that won’t go away until you scratch it. The longer you spend time with her, the worse it’s going to get.”
I think about that. I am literally chewing my tongue hard enough that I think it’s starting to bleed. “She drives me crazy,” I admit. “I don’t know what it is, but I don’t know how long I can take it.”
“So fire her,” he says.
“What?”
“If she’s causing you this many problems and you don’t care about her, fire her. Find someone with no baggage and no connections to your heart. Then you won’t have to worry about any of this. You know, since you don’t fall in love…ever.”
I drum my fingers on the desk, and I can tell by how amused he is that Diego thinks he’s got me pinned. Finally, after one of our routine stare offs, he turns away. “I need to get to work.”
“Yeah, you do,” I agree with him, but it’s the only thing I am going to agree with.
He’s got a lot of nerve digging into my life like that, best friend or not.
I’m sure that’s a normal best friend thing to do.
When it comes to relationships of any type, I’m not exactly known for being normal.
I don’t keep a lot of friends, either. I’m an only child, and I haven’t spoken to my father in years.
The relationship isn’t strained, it’s nonexistent.
Ever since I hit the jackpot in the investing market and was able to open my first hotel, I’ve had him blocked on all accounts.
If there was anything I learned about my father, it’s that I don’t need him and never have.
I guess you could say I adopted that same mentality with anyone who’s walked into my life. No strings, no feelings, no relationship. Period. If Diego wasn’t in the business with me and hadn’t been through all my shit with me since college, those rules would apply to him too.
Unfortunately though, being friends with someone as aggravating as he is, I’ve had to do a lot of reflecting on my truths alone.
I may have a lot of walls up, but they’re not all stone.
The one glaring truth right now is that while I don’t know how I feel about Ellie, I could never get rid of her.
Considering the fact that ever since I got to work today, I’ve had to practically chain myself to my desk so I wouldn’t go hunting her down, I think it’s safe to say I can’t do without her. It would be damn near impossible.