Chapter 23
Cameron
“Stop messing with your hair, it looks great.”
I grab Riley’s hands, noticing that she has the ring on and my lips tip in a small smirk.
“Do you have any idea how big of a deal this is?” she asks nervously, pulling away to run her hands through her hair again.
“I do,” I tell her. “It’s a very popular social media page.”
“Just Breathe isn’t just popular, Cam,” she says and I interrupt her again.
“So it’s Cam now, huh?”
Riley shoots me a look. “It just came out. I’m nervous. Get over yourself,” she sasses me but I can tell she’s trying not to smile.
“Calling me Cam. Wearing the ring…” I tease.
“Anyways. Just Breathe is one of the most popular social media accounts for kids with respiratory disease and their parents. There are hundreds of thousands of followers. So for my kid, my little boy, to be the star of the show right now, going on LIVE in front of all those viewers and then some–not to mention the Make-A-Wish foundation representing the whole thing…it’s crazy, Cameron.
And I need to look like I’m not a single mom who crawls out of bed everyday looking like an uncaffeinated muskrat. ”
I laugh at that, grabbing her by the cheeks. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a hundred times more– you look beautiful. Now stop.”
Without thinking about it, I plant a kiss on her mouth. It’s just a peck but it's enough to catch us both off guard. I don’t know, it felt natural.
“You can’t do that,” she says, panic in her eyes.
“But we’re engaged…” I say.
“As far as your friends know, yes. As far as the world though?”
We are cut off when Heather, one of the leaders of the social media page comes over. “Are you two lovebirds ready? We will be LIVE in five!”
“Oh god…I’m going to puke,” Riley says, fanning herself.
Then she walks over to Noah who is sitting on a couch in a mock living room scene complete with a Christmas tree and fireplace.
Being an event planner, I took the initiative of renting out a room at a local community center.
Everyone in the area from the page is here, and the ones who don’t live in California are tuning in online.
Afterwards, there will be a party where one of the reps from Make-A-Wish will join us.
“Mommy, do I have to wear this?” Noah asks, tugging at the collar of the Christmas sweater they told him to wear. “It’s itchy.”
“Just for the video and then you can take it off.”
“I want to wear my pajamas,” he pouts.
“Honey,” Riley bends down, now messing with his hair, “You are going to be on camera in front of a lot of people. You can’t wear–”
“He can wear pajamas,” Heather cuts in.
“Actually, that would be super cute,” someone with a clip board and a headset agrees.
Heather gets on a walkie. “Patrick, we need peppermint striped pajamas. Size…6? ASAP please and thank you.”
Jesus. You’d think the kid was about to be on Good Morning America. Who knows, the way things are exploding right now, he just might be.
The next thirty minutes pass in a whirlwind.
Heather starts the live feed with a little backstory, although most people watching already know who Noah is.
Apparently he’s one of the more popular kids on the page.
And I can see why. As she talks, sitting next to Noah on the couch, he is a total camera ham, making everyone including the camera guy laugh.
Riley and I sit in two chairs off to the side but where the camera can switch to us if needed. Though the way he is running the show, I don’t think it’s going to be necessary.
“He is an extraordinary kid,” I whisper to Riley, whose eyes are locked on Noah.
“He is,” she agrees with a smile. Her eyes are glassy with tears but she keeps them at bay. Even though she looks sad, she’s still lovely. “And so strong too.”
“Absolutely,” I agree. “But so are you.”
“I do what I have to do,” she says robotically.
“Give yourself more credit than that, Ri. You’re a single mom of a high needs kid. And you’re kicking ass.”
“So it’s Ri now?” she tosses my joke from earlier back in my face, probably so she doesn’t cry.
“I mean it. Doing this at all is one thing. Doing it alone is a whole other beast. You’re killing it.”
Riley swallows. There’s something else behind her eyes. A hesitancy. I wonder about the other night…the night we made love in her bedroom. I wonder if it was too much. After all, slow exploratory sex wasn’t exactly a part of our agreement. But it happened so naturally.
“I wouldn’t wish it on anyone,” she says. Then she sits up straight as Noah pulls out his letter. It’s in a fancy envelope, complete with a red rubber stamp on the back.
“So tell us what is so special about this letter,” Heather says.
“Well…it’s a letter for Santa,” Noah says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. My heart swells.
“A letter for Santa. But isn’t it also your wish?” she asks.
“It is! I figured if anyone can make my wish come true, it’s Santa.”
Riley takes in a shaky breath and a single tear escapes. Instinctually, I reach over, clasping her hand in mine.
“And you’re going to read it to us today,” Heather says.
“Uh huh,” Noah nods. “But then I have to send it to the North Pole.”
Heather and everyone else chuckles. “Of course.”
As Noah carefully opens the envelope, his tiny hands making sure it doesn’t rip, I realize Riley is holding her breath. I squeeze her hand again and she blinks, swallowing hard.
Noah pulls the letter out and starts to read.
“Dear Santa. This letter is not just a Christmas list,” he reads slowly. It’s hard to believe he is only five. “This is also a wish. As you know I am sick. I cough a lot and sometimes can’t breathe very good. So for my wish…I want two things. I really need new lungs,”
Riley sniffs and wipes her eyes. Meanwhile, I don’t let go of her hand for anything in the world. Hell, I’m even getting a little teary. And that’s saying a lot since I am around sick kids all the time.
“But that’s not the only thing I want,” he goes on slowly, sounding out the words as he reads. “I also want a dad.”
Noah’s words stop both our hearts. Riley brings her hand to her mouth and I lean in, my own mouth going slack as he keeps reading.
“That way, if the lungs don’t work, my mom won’t be alone.”
And just like that, I am pretty sure the kid just broke the fucking internet.
Heather struggles to smile through the rest of the video and honestly she does a great job of it. But once the camera cuts, she wipes back tears too and hugs Noah who carefully seals the envelope back up, smiling like nothing ever happened.
“Jesus…” I let out. “That’s a tall order.”
Noah rushes over to us and Riley slaps on a fake smile so fast that even I almost believe it’s real. Of course, I know better.
“You did so good!” she tells him.
“Why are you crying?” Noah asks with worry in his little eyes.
“Oh because I’m just so proud,” she lies, still smiling.
“Thanks. Can I go by the snack table? There’s cookies!”
“Yes. You can have all the cookies you want,” she answers, planting a kiss on him before he skips away.
I stand up and hold out a hand. Riley takes it, pushing herself to her feet. But when I turn to her, she falls apart. And I mean falls the fuck apart. I catch her in my arms as she begins to sob and it takes literally every ounce of willpower in me to hold it together.
The after party is a blur of Christmas music, finger foods and mocktails and kids laughing and playing around the Christmas set.
The number of people that want to talk to Riley is a little astonishing, especially considering the weight of everything that just happened.
But as always, she puts on a game face and wears it impeccably well as she answers every question with poise and strength.
I can only imagine where she even derives it from.
“Are you in line for a transplant then?”
“We are on the list, yes.”
“How has he been doing? He’s so little.”
“As well as a kid with CF can be doing!”
“Do you keep up with his meds? I’ve heard essential oils do wonders as well. I have a book about it if you want to borrow it?”
“I spend all my time researching new information regarding CF. We are doing as much as we can.”
Her answers to the showering of questions are rehearsed, probably she’s been doing this for years. At one point I place my hand on her lower back, a gesture that suddenly makes me visible to everyone in the room.
“So you’re his doctor?” a woman asks, but clearly that’s not all she’s asking.
“I am…”
“And someone special, we take it?” another woman presses.
“I am Riley’s…” I trail off momentarily but Riley jumps in fast.
“We’re engaged,” she whispers with a smile and the circle of other moms gasps. “We’ve just been a little quiet about it because Noah doesn’t fully know yet…”
“Oh my god,” Heather mouths the words dramatically. “So his wish might just be coming true!”
I swallow hard and Riley just laughs, a nervous bubbly sound. Luckily, the conversation is cut off when the camera guy says something to Heather and she nearly screams.
“Riley! You’re not going to believe this!
Jason, get this on video. LIVE!” Before we know what’s happening, a LIVE reel is being posted with the three of us on camera.
“An update from Noah’s Big Wish. As of ten seconds ago, I kid you not, we have hit one million followers!
And that’s not all! A Pay It Forward account has been set up by one of our viewers titled Noah’s Lungs Fund and in just the last hour it has already raised a whopping ten thousand dollars! ”
“What?” Riley asks and I swoop my arm around her, fully aware that her knees are jelly.
“That’s crazy,” I say as I smile down at her.
“Santa must be one of our followers because it looks like Noah’s wishes are well on their way to coming true!” Heather says.
Riley smiles back up at me and we hug. And as we do, the camera focuses on her left hand, placed on my shoulder, zooming in on the ring.
Normally, I’d be freaking out a bit. We still haven’t gone totally public with our ‘engagement’.
And now, here we are, practically going viral.
But to be honest, I don’t care. All I care about is the woman in my arms right now and her little boy.
Whether it was in the plans or not…I am falling, fast and hard.