Chapter 37
Gavin
My head is still spinning when I wake up in the morning. But it’s not just my head; it’s the whole damn room and my stomach.
I’m not a heavy drinker. My party days are long past. What happened last night was no party, but I did have a lot to drink. The empty whiskey bottle on the bed next to me is proof.
I sit up, hoping to get my bearings a little, but all it does is send the soup in my brain down to my stomach. I think it’s best to get to the bathroom now.
After emptying last night’s mistakes into the toilet, I turn on the shower, strip down and step in, pressing my hands to my face.
Suddenly, everything comes rushing back.
The snowball fight, the flirting with Charlotte, finding her and Ben, finding out Charlotte is Ben’s ex, and finding out I am the father of the child she is carrying.
It’s almost enough to make me sick again, but luckily, I can keep the bile down and my head up now.
Of course, I still have no idea what I am going to do.
I do know that I need to kick this hangover in the ass so I can deal with whatever is going on outside my cabin.
I still run the place after all, and I am sure last night’s turn of events sent everything into a frenzy.
I enjoy my shower for exactly five more minutes before slipping into some jeans, a long sleeve, boots and a coat and go out to face the music. But when I get outside, there is no music. The place is dead, desolate.
I guess that answers the question of whether the wedding is officially off.
I think about grabbing coffee to nurse away the ringing in my ears, but decide to go straight to the source and head for the brewery.
Like the rest of the resort, it’s empty too.
Jordan is the only one in there, wiping down the already clean bar and completely avoiding eye contact with me.
Smart man. Jordan may be one of Ben’s best friends, but he is the last person I feel like dealing with right now.
In fact, I’m not really in the mood to deal with anyone right now.
“Beer,” I say as I sit down at the bar.
“Any preference?” Jordan asks, and I know he knows why I am there, and it’s not just because of last night. He’s a bartender. He can smell a hangover a mile away. Actually, this one is bad enough that I bet everyone can smell it a mile away.
“IPA,” I answer.
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that,” he says. “West coast, East coast, hazy–”
“Dealer’s choice,” I cut him off, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. “Mix them together for all I care, just give me a damn beer.”
“Yes sir,” he says before pouring me a glass and setting it down in front of me before disappearing in the back of the bar. And finally, I am alone with my beer, and I can focus on my thoughts.
Until a hand clasp over my shoulder, and I spill my beer down my chin and onto the bar top.
“Seriously?” I ask Elias as he sits down next to me. “You know the brewery is still closed, right?”
“Yeah, looks real closed,” he says.
“Fine. You want a beer? Hey Jordan,” I call out, but as Jordan reappears out of the back, Elias shakes his coffee cup with a smile.
“Nah, I’m more of a dark roast kind of guy at 7am,” he says.
“Suit yourself,” I mutter, taking a long pull from my glass, willing the alcohol to fight off the splitting headache.
“Now that I think about it, you’re usually an Americano guy yourself. Which tells me something is off.”
“Are all our friends and family still out there waiting for Ben to tie the knot?” I ask.
“No, they heard through the very short, very obvious grapevine that things are amiss and took off this morning,” he says.
“And you didn’t go with them…” It’s a statement, not a question. “Better hurry before your ride leaves.”
“I sent Bethany home with the kids. Which means you are my ride. Which means you might as well start talking because I’m only going to hound you until you tell me what happened.”
“Funny, I would have thought you had already heard the whole story by now,” I say, being stubborn. It’s a trait that runs in our family, obviously.
“Call me crazy, but I’m kind of interested in your version of it,” Elias says with more patience than I have.
I take another gulp of beer.
“I don’t even really understand what happened. I was falling for her…hard. I’ll admit that. But then I find out who she is.”
“Ben’s ex…” Elias says.
“How is that…I mean, what the hell are the chances?” I ask.
“The universe is clever,” Elias says, taking a sip of his coffee.
“More like the universe is an asshole,” I say. “I’m involved with my son’s ex-girlfriend. And she is pregnant with my baby.”
“Okay, I guess that borders on asshole more than cleverness. But I don’t know if it’s the end of the world.”
I belt the last of my beer and set it down on the bar top hard. Jordan is a good enough bartender to know it’s going to take more than one to kill my hangover. He hands me another without even being asked. He’s redeeming himself slowly.
“How do you figure?” I ask. “She lied to me. About Ben and about the baby.”
“Did she, though?” he asks skeptically. “Or did she just not tell you?”
“How is that any different?” I snap. Part of me is annoyed that he’s here and I’m about to pay to Uber his ass down the mountain. The other half is grateful because thanks to him, I’m pounding the beer and my headache is starting to back off a little.
“I mean, it all took place in a matter of weeks, Gavin. You think you’re lost and confused; imagine how she feels. Dealing with her ex. Being pregnant. She’s got to be terrified.”
Elias’s words are irritating. Maybe because he’s right. Still…she could have told me. She should have told me. And again, I’m too stubborn to abandon that ship.
When I don’t say anything, my brother takes that as permission to go on. “She’s also not the only one who kept secrets. Ben didn’t tell you or his fiancée that Charlotte is his ex.”
“Exactly,” I say. “Fooled by both my son and my woman.”
“And you didn’t tell Ben you’ve been banging his ex.”
I snap my fingers and point at Elias. “Ha! But I also didn’t know that he’s her ex. So I lied about nothing,” I say as I take another sip.
“But you knew that she is their wedding planner and that even that could get sticky if it came out,” he says, and I bite my lip.
“He used Allie against me,” I say. Am I grasping at straws?
Maybe. But even if a captain goes down with their ship, it doesn’t mean they don’t try to patch every hole before that happens.
“He basically said that the women I date can’t compare with Allie,” I say, taking another sip.
Elias waits, and the words and feelings fester until I keep talking. “And they can’t, obviously.”
“Of course not,” he says.
“How did I get here?” I ask, setting my glass down and slumping back in the leather-backed stool. “How did I go from perfect wife, two great kids, and all the money and status in the world to a widower who has no fucking clue what I am doing?”
“Terminal illness is even more of an asshole than the universe, it seems,” Elias says softly.
“Yeah well, sometimes I think the universe is in on it,” I mutter spitefully.
“I’m not sure I believe even the universe has that much power,” he says. “Honestly, I think we have more power than it does.”
I narrow my eyes in his direction. I’m getting buzzed again, and while I’m not sure that’s a good thing right now, it is helping with the hangover. “How do you figure?”
“People get sick. Wives die. Husbands too. People steal, cheat, lie, people we trust, you know? Bad things happen that we have no control over.”
“Exactly. Fucking universe.”
“But…we have control over how we react,” he concludes.
“My wife was gone so suddenly, E. That’s not even enough time to plan an adequate funeral, let alone figure out how to raise my kids alone. I became a single father overnight.”
“And you’ve done a damn good job,” he says.
“I know that no woman is going to replace Allie. For me or the kids,” I say.
“And she shouldn’t have to,” he says.
“So where does Ben get off?” I snap.
Elias smiles patiently. “Ben is hurt.”
“Yeah, well, so am I.”
“I want you to think about it this way,” he says, and I hate that my younger brother is so often the voice of reason.
It’s an annoying voice, probably because a lot of the time, it’s right.
“Ben found out that his dad is banging his ex. Unimportant since he’s over her, but a shocker nonetheless.
Then he has to admit to his fiancée that the wedding planner she hired, the one she loves and has done an exceptional job at fully planning a destination wedding without Holly lifting a finger…
is also his ex. No offense, because I know your life is a little unhinged right now too, but that’s a lot. ”
I bite my lip and toss back more beer. Because he’s not wrong. And it’s really fucking obnoxious.
“And now he might not be getting married at all,” I say.
“I wouldn’t throw it completely out the window,” Elias says.
“Easy for you to say. It’s not your life blowing up.”
He smiles at that. “No. But I know that our family has a way of bouncing back from things.”
“Have I, though?” I ask. “Bounced back, I mean. Allie’s death was a wrecking ball through the center of our house. She’s the main reason our kids turned out as good as they have.”
“From my recollection, you were a part of that too. A big part,” Elias says, finishing off his coffee.
“Not like her. I was young when they were born. What if I can’t hack it this time?” I ask. I feel like it’s a perfectly valid concern. But my brother just smiles.
“If you haven’t forgotten, I wasn’t a strapping young lad when my kids were born, and I just had another one,” he says. “I think you’ll be surprised.”
“That’s because Bethany is a stellar wife,” I say as a Hail Mary. “I don’t have Allie around to reassure me that I can do this…again.”
“Nope,” he says, hopping off his stool. “You have Charlotte. Just the other day you were telling me how amazing she is with kids.”
“I know, but,” I try to finish my thought, but my brother just claps a hand over my shoulder again.
“I think you need to talk to her,” he says.
“I will. When I’m ready.”
“Then, in the meantime, figure out what you’re actually afraid of,” he says, and then he walks away.