Chapter 41
Charlotte
I thought I could do this.
I thought I could be here and help Holly and Ben with their wedding. I mean, for the most part, everything is done. Holly even found a new dress; one she absolutely loves. It’s champagne-colored, boho, and whimsical. It’s very Holly.
But I didn’t think it would be this hard being here and seeing everything. Everything just brings back memories of sneaking around, stolen glances, and taking chances.
Memories of him.
And right now, I can’t stomach any more of it. Maybe it’s morning sickness or intense anxiety, but I can’t handle being here anymore, so I’m leaving. It wasn’t my plan. It’s the last thing I want to do. But Gavin won’t speak to me, so there’s not much point in trying anymore. It’s time to move on.
I gather all my things and toss them into the back of my car. But just as I am about to open the front door, I hear footsteps crunching through the gravel and snow.
“Charlotte! Where are you going?” Gavin asks as he jogs up to me.
“Where does it look like I’m going, Gavin? I’m leaving. I’m going home,” I answer.
“Why are you going home?” he asks, and I just stare at him.
“Oh, I don’t know. Because I have only been trying to get you to talk to me for weeks.
I’ve blown up your phone so many times you could probably tell the cops I’m stalking you and they’d believe you.
I came all the way up here to apologize to you, and you wouldn’t even open your damn door!
” I snap. Gavin’s jaw unhinges a little.
“Yes. I just said a bad word, and it’s your fault. So if you’ll excuse me–”
But Gavin doesn’t move. He just shoves his hands in his pockets with a smug little smirk on his obnoxiously delicious lips.
“I understand that you’re angry,” he says.
“Of course I’m angry. Angry and over your shit,” I say, and he smirks again. But I’m being serious. I just said shit, for crying out loud.
“Okay, so let’s talk,” he says, and I glare at him.
“I’m not talking to you,” I say. “I have nothing to say to you anymore. Now if you’ll get out of my way–”
I try to go around him, but he steps in front of my door.
“Excuse me,” I snap. “You’re blocking my way.”
“I know I’m blocking your way. I want to talk to you, Charlotte,” he says.
“Did you not hear me?” I ask, stepping closer, although I feel kind of silly. He dwarfs me, but I’m not budging. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Yeah well, I’ve spent so much time with my head up my ass that I’ve got a lot of things I should probably say to you,” he says, refusing to get out of my way.
“Gavin,” I snap.
“Charlotte, you can’t leave,” he cuts me off. I laugh, crossing my arms over my chest.
“What are you going to do?” I ask. “Stop me?”
His smirk twists a little further. “Is that a challenge?” he asks. The next thing I know, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
“Oh, my god! Gavin! Gavin! What are you doing?” I cry out, smacking him on the back. But Gavin just starts walking towards the slopes. “Gavin, where are you taking me? Put me down! Gavin!”
“If you’re not going to talk to me, then I’m just going to have to make you listen to what I have to say,” he says.
“I swear if you don’t put me down–” I argue, kicking and screaming.
“Oh, shut up,” he says and my mouth pops open.
“What did you just say to me?!” I snap as he plops me down on the ski lift. Then he pushes the button and hops on.
“You are out of your mind,” I tell him as we ascend the slope. “Certified crazy!”
“The only crazy thing is that I didn’t talk to you sooner,” Gavin says.
“You’re right. And your time is up.”
“I believe I have about ten minutes unless you plan on jumping ship,” he says.
“Oh, you mean the way you’ve jumped ship?” I ask, and his eyes dart down to my belly.
“Charlotte…listen. I was wrong,” he says gently as we glide up the mountain.
“About what?” I ask.
“About everything. I reacted the way I did because I was shocked,” he says. “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t just shocked. I used the fact that you lied to me to run away from what I was really feeling. My feelings for you,” he says.
“Feelings for me?” I ask softly. Because that is not what I was expecting. An apology maybe. An excuse even. But not a confession. My heart speeds up in my chest, and I bite my lip.
“Surely you know that,” he says. “I was afraid. But after thinking about it more, I understand why you kept it from me. I understand that you must’ve been overwhelmed with everything,”
“I was,” I say guardedly.
“And you must’ve been so scared,” he says.
I swallow, but keep my tone the same. “I was.”
“We were both scared,” he says. “I didn’t know how to feel. But I know how to feel now. It’s how I’ve always felt. I didn’t know if it could work. But I believe it can.”
“How do you figure?” I ask.
“Look, Charlotte. I know it’s messy. But I’m sure of us. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” he says, leaning in towards me.
But before his lips have the chance to press to mine, I turn away.
“I just…I don’t know,” I tell him as I push my glasses up. “I need time.”
“We can sit up here all day,” he says. “That’s fine.”
“I want off the lift,” I state the obvious. But Gavin just shoves his hands in his pockets and crosses his feet at the ankles.
“No can do,” he shakes his head.
“And why not?” I ask. I’m about to figure out how to turn this lift around myself.
“Because I love Ben and Ben loves me, and Holly loves Ben and I love you, and Ben wants me to be happy as much as I want him to be happy because that’s what his mom would have wanted.”
“What?” I ask, my face twisted in confusion.
“This wasn’t just my idea,” he says. “Ben and Holly are at the bottom waiting for us. Ben says he isn’t going to stop the lift until we figure it out.”
My mouth pops open. “Are you joking?” I ask. “They’re in on this too?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re serious?” I ask.
“Yes. About all of it. About us and about the baby. Because I love you, Charlotte. It’s because of you that I haven’t died inside.
That I found love when I never thought I could.
And I won’t lose it again. I will sit here until the sun goes down and comes back up again over and over until you believe me.
You’re the only thing I want. You and that baby. ”
Tears brim my eyes and run down my cheeks as I clutch my hands in my lap. Gavin covers them with one of his, strong and reassuring. And as much as I wanted to fight it, I know I can’t. Because…
“I love you too, Gavin,” I say with a smile, and he smiles back. Then he leans in, but pulls back again.
“Can I kiss you now?” he asks.
“Yes, you can kiss me,” I giggle.
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to shove me off the lift or anything,” he says.
“Gavin. Shut up and kiss me,” I tell him, and his lips cover mine.