Chapter 14
Harper
The only thing more awkward than masturbating in front of Asher is having dinner with Asher afterward.
We have dinner outside on the patio, and it’s quiet. Ash suggested it because it’s a lovely evening. I think we were both afraid that the dining room would be too quiet. At least out here we have the sound of birds and the ocean lapping the shore.
Both of us are quiet. Not one word. We aren’t avoiding conversation, but after what happened, I don’t think either of us know what to say. So we sit there, eating grilled shrimp fajitas and sipping margaritas in utter silence.
“The drinks are good,” he says, and I nearly choke, covering my mouth with a napkin.
“Thanks. It’s just margarita mix,” I say quickly.
“I didn’t realize we had that,” he says.
“It was in the mini bar. Underneath.”
“How interesting.”
We both stare at one another because it’s not interesting.
What’s interesting is that we have spent the last several days cooped up in a cabana trying to keep our hands off each other.
We’ve had to constantly remind ourselves that this entire affair is off limits because my brother is his best friend and I’m unavailable for that very reason.
I keep small talk going because the silence is deafening.
“Any update on the roads?” I ask.
“Nope. Still blocked,” he says, and I nod. Because this is who we’ve become now that I have seen him and he has seen me.
I just didn’t realize that it would be so…and look so…and make me feel so…
I guess what I didn’t realize is that everything I read in the books, all the ways things are described and the way things look, and the way the main character feels…
were fairly accurate. I feel like most of the women I know talk about romance and erotica books like they are overdone.
Elaborated. Spicy so that average women can read above average stories about men who are more enticing than the ones they chose in real life.
But from my limited experience, that is not the case.
Then again, Asher Levine isn’t your average man. I’ve just had a crash course on just how above average he is. Smart, funny, and sexy. God, is he fucking sexy!
My phone buzzes. My stomach flip flops, thinking it might be Daniel. I am relieved when I see that it’s Darlene.
“Excuse me,” I say, and Asher nods. Everything about this is weird.
“Hey,” I say as I walk away from Asher.
“Well if it isn’t the runaway bride,” she jokes, and I roll my eyes. But I’m so relieved to talk to her that my eyes sting with tears. Rolling them is a preventative measure to ensure I don’t fall apart completely.
“I didn’t run away. I was carried,” I argue with a smile.
“Ah yes. I remember now. So romantic,” she sighs, and I laugh. “So when can we hang out? I’m going crazy over here.”
“Whenever I get home,” I tell her, sitting down in one of the patio chairs by the pool.
“You’re still there?” she asks.
“Yeah. The roads are damaged from the storm and–”
“Good lord, the universe is having a fucking field day with you right now!” she blurts out. “So! Tell me everything! And don’t leave out the juicy bits.”
My heart picks up speed in my chest, and I wonder if she’s got ESP or something. Either that or a camera with a microphone planted in my suitcase. “Juicy bits?” I stutter. “I don’t know what you’re–”
“Oh, come on, Harp. I can hear it in your voice. Something is going on. You did something.”
I bite my lip, willing myself not to tell. How much can a girl hold back when she's finally gotten a little freaky with a man after never having even been kissed?
“He kissed me,” I say. After I say that, I feel a small sense of relief, like I’m no longer holding my breath.
“And?” she presses.
“And it was amazing. He is so–”
“I don’t mean how was the kiss. A kiss is hot, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what else?”
“How do you know there was something else?” I ask defensively.
“Spill it,” she says. Because she knows me. Because she can hear the bubbles fizzing under the cap, waiting to explode like a dormant volcano.
So I tell her. I tell her about the pool and him hearing me in the shower and how we pleasured ourselves in front of each other. I also tell her how when I do what he says, the orgasms are unreal.
“Jesus,” she breathes. “That really is hot.”
“Do you think it’s too much?” I ask quietly. I know Ash isn’t listening, but I’m still trying to be careful.
“Too much?” she echoes. “Girl, this is level one stuff. First base.”
“Not for a virgin!” I blurt, and then lower my voice. “How is this still first base?” I ask.
“Did he touch you? Aside from kissing, have you put your hands on each other at all?” she asks.
“Well…no. Not exactly.”
“Then it’s first base. Second base would be all the things you described, but with his hands, his fingers, his tongue, his–”
“Okay, I get the idea,” I interrupt, my cheeks turning pink just at the thought of all of that. Darlene giggles. “So third base is sex.”
“Then what’s a home run?” I ask.
“It’s…well…I don’t know how the bases work exactly, but unless your hands are all over each other, among other body parts, you’re still on first base. Maybe try second…”
“Darlene,” I say a little more seriously. “I still have no intention of crossing third base or home plate or whatever until I’m married. That hasn’t changed,” I remind her.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” she says supportively. “But there are still things you can do that don’t breach that line. A lot of things.”
We get off the phone, and I think about that. I suppose she’s right. Unless it’s actual D to V contact, it’s not sex. And as long as it’s not sex, it’s allowed, right?
Later that night, after a day of not fully avoiding each other but trying to pretend like nothing is weird at the same time, we are finally getting ready for bed.
I do my nightly skincare routine, and he pumps out a small evening workout.
No wonder this man looks the way he does; he works out like three times a day.
The entire day we both were trying to pretend like nothing happened and that things aren’t weird.
I turn down the blankets on my side, and he grabs pillows like he is going to sleep on the couch.
“You can sleep in the bed with me,” I tell him without thinking about it. Ash looks up at me questioningly. “I mean, you don’t have to sleep on the couch.”
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“We’re in a vacation villa you paid for. Besides, it’s kind of silly, don’t you think? We’re both adults.”
“We are,” he agrees.
“It’s not like we have no self-control,” I add, and he slowly sets the pillows back in place.
“Of course.”
When we crawl into bed, the tension between us is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
I think to myself, this is good. We are two mature adults sharing a bed for a good night’s sleep.
Can I lie next to this man after what he’s seen, and what I’ve seen, and pretend like we don’t want more from each other?
“Are you okay?” he asks, breaking into my thoughts. We are both under the covers, and he is reaching for the lamp on the side table but waiting for my response. “You look…worried.”
I force a smile and brush a wisp of hair from my face. “No. Not at all. I’m fine. This is fine.”
“Okay…” he drawls. “Sweet dreams then…” he says and turns off the lamp before settling down into the bed.
I lay on my side, facing away from him, as close to the edge as I can get without falling off. I can still feel him next to me and smell him too. God, he smells so good! The heat between us is burning into my skin. I swallow hard because I suddenly feel parched.
My heart is pounding so hard in my chest I wonder if he can feel it or hear it.
All the while, Darlene’s words play out audibly in my head. There are a lot of things you can do that aren’t sex… Second base isn’t off limits…
I rustle around for a moment, trying to get comfy and drown out her voice.
I just need to fall asleep. Once I’m asleep, I won’t be thinking about any of this.
Then morning will come, and maybe the roads will be clear, and then I can finally go back to normal life where this will all be a distant memory. A fond memory.
I stop myself right there. My inner monologue isn’t helping anything.
I roll over onto my other side towards the middle of the bed, and Ash is right there. On his side. Facing me. His eyes flash open, like he was never actually asleep.
For a moment, we just stare at each other. The moon is bright tonight, and it illuminates the room enough for us to see each other’s faces and look into each other’s eyes.
Suddenly, our mouths crash together.
I don’t know if it was me or him or both, but it doesn’t matter. His hand clasps over my cheek, pulling me closer as the kiss deepens, his tongue finding mine, swirling around, teasing, nibbling, driving me wild.
My hands rake across his t-shirt clad chest. Even through the soft cotton, I can feel his muscles. He’s strong, hard, and yet so soft. So warm. So inviting.
I moan into his mouth as my hand explores his torso from his pecks to his abs. My fingertips stop at the band of his boxer briefs. Ash pulls back just enough that our eyes meet, and while he doesn’t say anything, he’s asking a question.
You want to touch me?
I do. Fuck, I do. Ever since I saw him stroking himself, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I want to feel his hardness and girth in my hand. I want to glide my hand up and down his shaft until he trembles.
“It’s not sex,” he whispers in a gruff tone as if he knows what I am thinking. It’s as if he knows exactly why I’m hesitant, but he respects it. “I would never try to make you do something you don’t want to do, Harper.”
His words warm my heart. I feel like I can lean into him; he feels safe. They also make me want more than I would have thought I’d want.
Second base is not sex…
“I want--” I start and stop because this is a big deal for me.
Asher waits. “What do you want? You can have anything you want,” he says.
I hesitate, and then my fingertips edge along the elastic band around his lower torso. I can feel his muscles begin to tense, and his skin prickling with goosebumps.
I slip my fingers under the elastic, feeling his hot, smooth skin.
I continue moving my hand down until I find his erection and stop. I am looking at his face and can’t see anything beneath the sheets, but I know from the books I read what it looks like. I also know it’s dripping with anticipation and need.
I rub my thumb around the tip, and Asher’s lips part as he lets out a breath. Just that small touch has earned a reaction, and it makes me want to do more.
My fingers slide down the smooth, hard length of him until they reach the base. Then slowly, I glide them back up, exploring and watching as his expression changes with every movement.
“Fuck,” he says.
I am hardly doing anything, but I am getting big reactions from him. I don’t know why. I’m sure he’s done this before with other women with far more experience. Maybe that’s why it’s so erotic?
“Put your hand around it,” he rasps. “Tightly.”
I wrap my hand around his girth. I can almost feel the pulsing of his heartbeat.
“Now glide,” he says, “up and down. Fuck…yes…just like that.”
I watch his body language change as I stroke his cock in my hand, feeling every muscle in his body tense and intense as he surrenders to it.
“Faster,” he tells me; his voice is low and primal.
I glide my hand up and over the head then back down; harder and faster, making him groan. Then, his body tenses, then releases, and he moans. He presses his forehead against mine as the orgasm rolls through him until he finally grows still.
“Did I…was it good?” I ask, maybe too quickly. I sound like…such a virgin.
Ash rolls on his back and grins. “Yeah, you could say that,” he says before throwing the blankets off and heading into the bathroom.
Even after the door closes, my heart is still pounding.
I just did that.
He said it was good!
Fuck, it was hot.
Speaking of hot, there’s a little of him on my fingers. My mind goes to the book I am reading, and I bite my lip. What would the main character do?
I bring my fingers up to my lips and slowly lick them.
Then I smile.
Whatever base this is…it’s fun.