Chapter 35
Harper
“So you finally told him,” Darlene whispers to me from her yoga mat. Well, as much as Darlene can whisper. Her inside voice doesn’t tend to be the softest.
“Yep,” I say carefully as I stretch into Warrior One. We are at a weekly yoga class, and she wants all the juicy details about our meeting with Jaylen. Unfortunately, the instructor isn’t too keen on us talking during her class and shoots us a look.
“How did that go?” she asks, lowering her voice only slightly.
“Better than I expected,” I answer.
“So, he didn’t lose his shit?” She asks, and the instructor audibly shushes us. Darlene responds with an eye roll as we shift into Warrior Two. Darlene is mirroring me, so she’s facing me.
“No,” I whisper, keeping a close eye so we don’t get yelled at again. I’d prefer to save the conversation for after class, but Darlene isn’t patient enough for that. “I mean, kind of. I don’t know. He was sort of weird about it.”
“Weird how?” she asks.
“Downward dog,” the instructor says loudly as another warning. Any more of this and we’re going to get kicked out. Not that I would care much. Yoga is supposed to be relaxing, but this lady has always been a hard ass.
Once we are in position, it’s a little easier to talk. Quietly, anyway. It’s not easy talking when all the blood is rushing to your head.
“I don’t know…he kind of freaked at first,”
“Understandably. He just found out his best friend is getting it on with his little sister. I’d be pissed too. If I were a dude, I mean. Of course, I’d be pissed about a lot of things if I were a dude. Like the drop in brain cells and the inability to text chicks back. You know what I mean.”
“After a while, he caved,” I say. “I think he realized there’s nothing he can do about it. By the time I came back from the bathroom, they were acting normal.”
“So, he’s okay with you two hooking up?” she asks, and I’m really starting to wonder when we are going to shift positions. The instructor seems content to just leave us like this forever.
“Well, not exactly,” I say, pedaling my feet to get some blood back into my legs and out of my head.
“Meaning?”
“He knows we are together, but he doesn’t know we are together together,” I say.
“In English, please,” she says.
“Ladies, please!” the lady hisses before having us step out of downward dog.
I wait another moment before mouthing the words to her. “He doesn’t know we’re sleeping together.”
Her mouth drops open. After that, she waits until the end of class. Once we have sat cross-legged, closed our eyes, and thanked the universe for the day, she turns to me again.
“Namaste. Okay, what do you mean he doesn’t know you’re sleeping together? Isn’t that what you told him?” she asks. Luckily, other women are talking now too, so my sex life isn’t the center of attention.
“No. We told him we are dating,” I say.
“Which for anyone over the age of seventeen means you are fucking,” she states.
“Not for me,” I argue, rolling up my mat and standing up.
“But you slept with him,” she says. “You told me all about it.”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then you’re lying to your brother,” she says.
“I’m not lying to him,” I nearly shout as we walk out of the studio.
I flash a very fake, mildly apologetic smile at the instructor.
I make a mental note to check the schedule for any other available class.
That instructor is way too much for casual yoga.
I go back to the conversation at hand. “We told him we are together. What that implies in his head is…in his head. Do you want a smoothie bowl? I want a smoothie bowl.”
“If he took it that well, I think he is under the impression nothing more has happened outside of second base,” she says as we make our way to Rush Bowls.
I let out a pained sigh. “Enough with the bases. I don’t even understand what they mean.”
“But you do understand what I mean, don’t you?
” she asks, growing more serious. “Harper, I love you, but I’m worried that if you aren’t being honest with Jaylen now, he’s going to be even more upset when he finds out the truth.
Telling him that the two are together was probably already a sucker punch to him.
Finding out that you’ve been lying about the other part… ”
“Who says he’s going to find out?” I ask. “It’s not like I casually bring up my sex life in conversations with my brother,” I say.
I can tell Darlene wants to press it more, but she decides not to. It’s best she doesn’t. I’m done talking about Jaylen, my virginity, and everything else. So, we get smoothie bowls, and I eat strawberries and chia in peace. Sort of.
Of course, her words stick with me. That evening Ash comes over for dinner, and I can’t stop thinking about what Darlene said.
“You’re quiet,” he says, wrapping his arms around me from behind. We are having chicken alfredo made from scratch, and I’m in the middle of making the roux, blending butter, heavy cream, and parmesan together. He kisses me on the neck. His lips are soft, warm, and smell like red wine.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” I admit.
“Oh? Why don’t you tell me about it?” he asks, nibbling on my neck.
“It’s kind of hard to talk when you’re doing that,” I giggle, and he pulls away.
“My bad. What’s on your mind?” he asks, leaning against the counter, his feet crossed at the ankles. He’s wearing gym pants and a gray t-shirt; his hair is ruffled. He also let his facial hair grow out a little, just enough to show the salt and pepper colors on his chin. I can’t say that I hate it.
“I went to yoga today with Darlene,” I say. “I told her about Jaylen.”
“Okay,” he says, taking a sip of wine.
“She thinks we need to be honest with him,” I say.
“We were honest,” he says.
“That’s what I said too, but Darlene thinks we should have mentioned that we are…that we…that–”
“That we slept together?” He asks, finishing the words I can’t seem to say out loud.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“I’m sorry, but how is that Jaylen’s business?” he asks.
“I mean, I am his sister, and you are his best friend,” I say.
“I get that, but I doubt he wants to know about our bedroom life,” he says.
I study him for a moment. “What did you guys talk about at the pub?” I ask. “When I was in the bathroom.”
“You,” he answers. “And how he doesn’t want to see you hurt, and neither do I.”
“Anything else?” I ask, and he takes another sip.
“Just that he thinks we should keep things PG-13,” he says, and my jaw drops.
“He said that?” I ask, and Ash nods. I shake my head. “It’s not his business,” I say.
“That’s what I literally just said,” he agrees.
I remove the sauce from the heat and pour it over the pasta. We add grilled chicken to it and more parmesan cheese before loading the pasta bowls up and making our way to the table. Asher digs in, but I find myself just swirling the pasta around my fork.
“What is it?” he asks.
I sigh. “I just…I don’t know…maybe she’s right, you know? Omission is lying, and if he finds out that we have passed second base—”
“Second base?” he asks, with a smirk.
“I don’t know,” I wave my fork in the air, noodles attached. “I just…”
“We will talk to him,” Asher says, and I feel a sliver of relief. “I want to wait until after the grand opening of the speakeasy. The last thing we need is drama on opening day. Is that fair?” he asks.
“Yes,” I tell him.
“Okay. Good. Now can we please stop talking about your brother?” He asks, and I smile.
“Gladly,” I answer, digging into the alfredo.