Chapter 42
JACQUELINE
Jesse’s mouth claimed mine like he owned it. He didn’t hesitate or make me wonder if he wanted it too. Instead, his tongue swept into my mouth and he kissed me with all the hunger I’d seen in his eyes tonight, his lips fusing to mine like this was a permanent situation.
In response, I melted into him like I had no choice because, even though I did, the very inconvenient truth of it was that I belonged to him. Whether I’d wanted it to happen or not, this man had stolen my heart and soul for himself, completely consuming me in every way that mattered.
My arms closed around his neck and I pulled him closer, moaning when he fitted his hard body against every curve of my own. He cursed into the kiss, sliding the last bit of my zipper down and then reaching for the thin sleeves at my shoulders.
I felt him hook his fingers underneath them. Then he was tugging them down, his fingertips trailing across my skin from my shoulders to my wrists. I shivered and kissed him harder, lust scorching through me like an out of control wildfire.
This wasn’t fair to either of us, but I’d asked and he’d taken me up on the unspoken offer. Now we were moving toward my bed, stumbling over the thick carpet under our feet while the dress slid further down with every step we took.
Part of me worried that he was going to regret this after. That I was. But if these stolen moments were all we’d ever have, then I’d take as many as I could get. For as long as he’d let me.
One day, I was going to have to watch him marry someone else. I had no doubt that Alex was already finding him a new, more suitable match, and when Jesse met her, I also had no doubt that he’d give it his all.
A fissure opened up in my heart at the thought and I shoved his jacket off his shoulders, suddenly desperate to make the most of whatever little bit of time he and I had left together.
Jesse hooked his thumbs into the dress that had pooled low around my hips by the time we reached the bed, giving it the final shove it’d needed to fall to the floor.
After helping me step out of it and kicking it away, he brought his hands to my cheeks, his kisses slowing but somehow becoming even more intense. “God, Jacque. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” I admitted on a breathy whisper, glad that he swallowed the words before they could end up making things awkward between us. “I missed you so, so much.”
For just a second, he stiffened, but then he groaned and shoved me backward.
I fell onto the mattress, confused for a beat until I saw the expression on his face.
The lights were off in the hotel room itself, but New York was never dark and the blinds were open, which meant that the ambient light was more than enough.
Jesse’s jaw was hard, his chin tilted slightly up, and his nostrils flared, but it was the look in his eyes that made me clench my thighs. They were blazing, but not in the openly turned on way I was used to seeing from him.
This wasn’t just heat. There was something else to it, too. A cool determination that got me even more hot and bothered than I’d already been, because it meant he wasn’t suddenly going to realize this was a mistake and leave me hanging.
Instead, those eyes raked across my mostly naked body, lingering on the tiny panties I’d had to wear under that dress so the lines wouldn’t show.
“I’ll make you a deal.” His voice came out low but confident, his gaze finally dipping to the high heels on my feet before he slowly lifted it back to mine. “No more talking unless it’s to tell me what you want or how good it feels.”
I swallowed past the sudden dry spot in my throat and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
His eyes narrowed, but only for a beat before he moved toward the bed, dropping straight to his knees beside it. For a second, I fantasized that he was about to beg me for… something. Anything would’ve been fine.
But instead, he smirked, grabbed my legs, and yanked me toward him until my behind was barely situated on the very edge of the mattress. Then he glanced up at me, those lips still curved into a smirk that made my panties even more damp.
“Good girl,” he murmured. “No talking, Jacque. Remember that, okay?”
My chin bounced up and down without my conscious consent to do so, but with his fingertips skating up the insides of my thighs toward my panties, I wasn’t conscious of much except how much I wanted him.
This Jesse was mine and only mine, the unguarded, dominant, but still caring side of him the media would never get to see. The Westwoods would never own this part of him either, which made it feel like, even just for now, it was the only version of him that truly belonged to me.
When his fingers reached the apex of my thighs, he brushed the backs of them lightly across the front panel of my panties and my hips bucked. I moaned out loud.
One of his fingertips found my clit through the fabric, and when he stroked it, I started shaking.
I swore, no other man would ever have this effect on me.
It just wasn’t possible. I spread my legs a little wider, hoping to encourage him as I shut my eyes and focused on just feeling all the things he made me feel—while I still could.
A few more gentle strokes of that fingertip later, however, I was just about ready to strangle him. My head kept shaking back and forth, every muscle in my body tense as he teased me. “Jesse!”
He pressed a kiss to the inside of my thigh and I felt him smile against my skin. “Yeah, okay. I hear you.”
Seconds later, my panties were gone and his tongue was circling my clit instead of his finger, his hands keeping my legs spread wide as he took me to heaven and beyond. I thrashed under his grip, my hands tightening in his hair and pulling it so hard, it had to hurt.
Jesse just kept going, though. He slid a finger into me as he licked a line through my folds but only to the first knuckle. I was so sensitive that even just that made me tremble, my muscles clenching around mostly nothing and my hips arching into him.
“Jesse…”
He circled my clit one more time before he sucked it into his mouth, sliding that finger all the way into me at the same time.
With his free hand anchoring my hip, he touched me everywhere all at once and I felt the orgasm speeding up on me, but every time it was within reach, he backed off just for a moment.
I writhed under his mouth, my inhibitions long since nothing but a myth when I was with him. “Shit, Jesse. Now.”
As always, he obliged me happily, sensing exactly when I was fully ready to surrender. He picked up his pace until the rhythm was perfect, his hand and tongue working together to send me into spasms of white-hot pleasure.
I screamed his name, my back arching. The poor neighbors were probably shoving their pillows over their ears, but right now, I didn’t give a bloody damn. Fucking hell, he’s good at that.
Still shaky in the aftermath, I pushed myself up and tipped my head back to look into his eyes. I reached for his belt without ever breaking eye contact. Jesse watched me without saying a word, his jaw still hard, but his chest heaving and his mouth still shiny with me.
My very bones felt like they’d been reduced to liquid, but my hands were steady as I undid his belt and opened his fly.
Despite whatever else might be going on between us, we were good together like this.
We practically read each other’s minds in the bedroom and physical compatibility had never been one of our many problems. I didn’t bother with niceties when I pushed his pants down and brought his underwear with them, using my foot to slide them down to his ankles so I could free up my hands.
I felt him move to kick off his shoes, but now that his pants were gone, so was my attention span. The only thing I could focus on right now was his cock, tall and proud, right in front of my face. I wrapped my fingers around the base of him, stroking slowly as I flicked a glance back up at him.
I caught the strong column of his throat move up and down on a hard swallow.
I lifted my other hand to his shirt, undoing the buttons one by one while I kept up my light strokes.
It didn’t take long for his eyes to flutter shut, a deep groan rumbling through him as his hips started rocking in time with my motions.
Taking my cue, I opened my mouth and sucked him in, cradling the underside of him with my tongue just as I undid the last button. He left the shirt hanging open, the defined muscles of his abs tensing with every slight thrust of his hips.
Desire sped through me all over again. Jesse was always gorgeous, always sexy, but like this? He was any sex toy manufacturer’s dream to have on their packaging. They’d sell out so fast, they’d never have any stock whatsoever.
I sucked harder, bopping my head a little faster, but I was also taking my time, like he’d done with me. Applying just the right amount of pressure to get him close, but not to take him all the way there.
When I looked again, his shirt was gone and his eyes were open, staring straight into mine. In that fraction of a second that our gazes clashed, I released him from my mouth and braced myself, and a moment later, he pushed me back down onto the bed.
The mattress dipped when he climbed onto it. He gathered me in his arms and lifted me straight off the bed, tossing me a little higher before he was on top of me. He kissed me hard, one of his hands coming up to cup my face while he held his weight on one bent knee on either side of my hips.
I kissed him back just as hungrily, but when I tried reaching for his cock again, he grabbed my wrist and abruptly broke the kiss. Panting as I looked back up at him, I caught movement in my periphery and saw him reach for a condom he must’ve dropped on the mattress at some point.
He rolled it on fast, those blue eyes silvery in the ambient light. They held mine when he repositioned himself between my legs. So many things passed between us in that moment, but then he thrust inside and the only word I managed to utter was his name, over and over again.
As soon as we were joined like this, I always felt like maybe we had a chance. That maybe the world could accept us together exactly as we were, but even those thoughts disappeared when he started moving inside me like he was already right on the edge.
Just the knowledge that he truly might be catapulted me right back there too. I matched every one of his thrusts with one of my own, our kisses growing sloppier as we each chased our own high.
My next orgasm tore into me, and a second later, I felt him follow me right into the abyss. For a minute while I was coming down, I wondered if he really would follow me there. Follow me anywhere, as long as it meant we wouldn’t have to be apart.
In the aftermath, he collapsed next to me, breathing hard. He pulled me into his arms. That sense that perhaps things could be okay between us lingered in the warmth of the afterglow, but as soon as I felt his breathing slow, he suddenly unfolded his arm from around me and sat up.
Dread pooled like a python in my stomach. He started getting up only a second later, and I knew things were not okay between us after all. In fact, I had the strangest feeling that this was the least okay Jesse had ever been.