Chapter 009 Lyra
After I finished reading a book to Elara, I stayed curled up in bed with her. Now she was reading one to me, her small voice steady but slowing. I noticed her scooting closer every few minutes, inch by inch, until her shoulder pressed against mine. I leaned in without making a big deal of it, letting her set the pace. I didn’t want to scare her off. It felt like coaxing a shy cat—you can’t let on how much you want the cuddles or they’ll bolt.
“You want to read another?” I asked, fingers gently twirling a strand of her hair.
“Yes,” she said, then ruined it with a huge yawn that made her whole body shake.
I smiled. “You sure? I think you’re about to pass out on me.”
“Today’s been wonderful,” she mumbled, eyes already half-closed. “I don’t want it to end.”
My chest squeezed. I wanted to wrap her up and promise I’d never leave, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I had no idea what tomorrow looked like with Cillian. One minute he seemed to want me gone, the next he couldn’t keep his hands off me.
“Sweetheart,” I said softly, “I’ll be here in the morning. Promise.”
She tilted her head back to look up at me, fingers reaching to touch the ends of my hair the same way I was touching hers. “It’s nice having a girl around.”
“Girl, I know,” I laughed. “I grew up with four brothers, remember? It was a zoo.” She giggled, and the sound warmed me straight through. “But I’ll be here when you wake up, and we can start planning your room. All the ideas.”
Her eyes lit up again at that. Then, before I could brace myself, she rolled toward me and threw an arm around my waist in a full hug. I hugged her back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“See you in the morning,” she whispered when she finally let go.
I tucked her in, pulling the blankets super tight like a burrito. She laughed, squirming. I fluffed them back out and smoothed her hair.
“Good night, sweetheart.”
I left her door cracked and walked slowly down the hall. My brain was still spinning from everything that had happened downstairs. What Cillian did to me—what I let him do—wasn’t weird, exactly. I just had zero experience to compare it to. When he told me to do something, I did it. No hesitation. It wasn’t until I was away from him that it really hit me: I’d been on my knees in the dining room. And I hadn’t hated it. I didn’t understand what it meant, though.
When I reached the primary bedroom, I paused at the connecting doorway and peeked into Cillian’s side. Dark. Empty. A stupid little pang of disappointment hit me. I shook it off and told myself to stop acting needy. I wasn’t going to stand there waiting like some puppy.
I changed into pajamas, washed my face, and climbed into the giant bed that still felt way too big. I grabbed my book from the nightstand, determined to distract myself. I read the same paragraph four times and still had no idea what it said. With a huff, I tossed it aside and reached for my phone instead.
I typed “Cillian Eve” into the search bar.
Pictures first. Always stoic. Suits pressed to perfection, not a hair out of place. I wondered if he ever got tired of looking so untouchable, or if it was just who he was.
The articles were mostly about his company and the charities he supported. I scrolled until I found one that mentioned his past. Foster care. Different homes. Then his brother—Elara’s dad—gone. My throat tightened. All those charities made sense now. They were all for kids.
I thought about my own brothers. They drove me nuts, but they were always there. Cillian had lost half his family when his brother died. He and Elara only had each other now. I swiped at the tears sliding down my cheeks.
I wanted to hug him the way Elara had hugged me. Not just physically. I wanted to reach the cold parts and show him what real warmth felt like. The kind you couldn’t buy or demand. The kind that just… happened when people chose to stay.
I turned off the lamp and rolled onto my side, still scrolling. He was brilliant. Driven. If Cillian Eve decided he wanted something, he got it. I kept hunting for any hint of a girlfriend, an ex, anything. Nothing. Which made a terrible kind of sense.
It hit me like a slap. This wasn’t romantic. All those things he’d said in his office rushed back with new meaning. This was convenience. Release. A job perk.
I sat up and flicked the lamp back on, looking around the room. Was this where he kept whoever was filling the role before me? My stomach twisted. He hadn’t promised me anything else. He’d been clear: take care of Elara, take care of his needs, extra pay slipped under the table. Not love. Not even dating.
I flopped back against the pillows. I wouldn’t pretend I hadn’t liked it. My body still remembered every second, humming in ways I didn’t know were possible. Something in me had woken up tonight, and it wasn’t going back to sleep.
So fine. I’d keep my heart out of it. I was here to take care of Elara—and now Cillian, too. I could do that. I could learn whatever he wanted to teach me without fumbling through it with some random guy who might not even call the next day.
This could work.
At least, that’s what I told myself as I finally turned off the light.