Chapter 23. Ambrose
“Do you want to tell us what she did to you?” he asked.
Yes, I wanted to say.
I wanted to curl up on the couch and let him hold me while I told him what I remembered. I wanted his fingers twisting my locs, his lips pressed to my temple as he murmured that everything was going to be okay.
Shame coiled in my gut. Because I still wanted that from Blaise, even though my newly discovered mate was sitting across the table from me.
I needed time to digest the last few weeks on my own before letting anyone else in—even if that someone was Blaise. So when I shook my head, I knew he would understand that it wasn’t a never. Just a not now.
His shadows licked gently up my leg.
Gods, how I’d missed his shadows. How I’d missed him.
His gaze flicked to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn.
My mate.
Our mate.
And wasn’t it a cruel twist of fate that I was in love with my fated mate’s other mate too?
I wondered how much she would hate me. How much Blaise would hate me. I wondered if I could tell her she was beautiful. Tell her I loved the unkempt billows of chestnut hair framing her freckled face, and the spark of mischief in her hazel eyes that reminded me so painfully of Blaise.
Tell her that I knew, deep in my bones, that I could grow to love her too.
And admit to her that my love was not hers alone.
I might be her mate, but the space in my heart that had been carved out for my best friend would always belong to him—even if he didn’t want it. And with the little strength I had left, I needed to find a way to tell her. To tell Blaise—
My spiraling thoughts were cut off by the sharp thud of Blaise’s open palms on the table.
“Right,” he said, brisk and unapologetic. “Not to hurry you, Ambrose, but you’re likely to expire any minute, and we really need to wrap up the warnings and introductions portion of the evening.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Caitlyn bring a hand to her mouth, clearly fighting a giggle.
Gods. These two were almost too alike.
Blaise wagged a finger between the three of us. “Caitlyn and me: mates. Caitlyn and you: mates. Me and you: mates.”
My mouth fell open, but no words came.
Blaise couldn’t be my mate. I would have known...
Caitlyn snapped her fingers, delighted at the news. “Knew it!”
I turned to her, my mouth still hanging open. If I could have formed words, they would have been something along the lines of “How is this monumental new development something you both seem to know and I don’t?”
Caitlyn offered me a casual Isn’t it obvious? shrug. “Oh, come on. You’ve lived with him your entire life. You really can't see the big googly eyes he’s making at you?”
My gaze drifted to Blaise.
His eyes weren’t googly, but they were soft. Heady, almost. The same look he gave Caitlyn.
I turned back to her, my mouth still open, a silent “And how does that make you feel?” stuck somewhere in my throat.
Thankfully, Caitlyn seemed to read it anyway.
“Which I am completely fine with, by the way,” she said quickly.
“Honestly, I was a little heartbroken when Blaise first told me—not heartbroken that he was still in love with someone else, but heartbroken that I couldn’t do anything to help him heal.
” She flushed, casting Blaise a look. “And I kind of didn’t want to say it out loud at the time, but.
.. I guess now that we know we both had another mate, it makes sense?
” She continued, clearly past the point of stopping herself now, “But back then when we... you know”—her cheeks went even redder—“I just felt like something was missing. And then when you said you usually fed with Ambrose...” She made a small, helpless gesture, as if the words had escaped her against her will.
“I kept picturing what it would be like to have three of us there.”
A wicked grin tugged at Blaise’s mouth. “I could tell.”
Caitlyn smacked his arm. “That’s not helping.”
She turned back to me, expression softening. “What I mean is... I’m happy that it’s shared. Between all of us. And I know I’ve only just met you, Ambrose, but if I could love you even half as much as Blaise does—”
“You love me?” I finally blurted out, my gaze snapping to Blaise.
His cheeks flushed.
“I... um... that night—”
I opened my mouth to apologize—an automatic reflex—but Blaise waved me off.
“I think it’s always been there,” he said, his voice unsteady. “I mean... I think I’ve always loved you as more than just a friend. I just didn’t realize it. That night was when it clicked. I tried to explain it to you, Ambrose, but I couldn’t find the words...”
His voice dropped, and if I’d had the strength, I would have leaped across the table and pulled him into my arms.
“You just seemed so angry,” he finished quietly. “At the situation. At me.”
I managed to grasp his hand in mine, my fingers quaking with the effort.
“Not you,” I said hoarsely. “Never you.”
He looked up at me then, eyes oddly bright, as if he were on the verge of tears—which was ridiculous. I’d never once seen Blaise cry.
“I was angry with myself,” I went on. “My bloodlust, my need to make sure you were safe—it made me cross a line. I took advantage of you while you were under the influence of vampire venom, and—”
Blaise snorted a laugh, cutting me off. “Ambrose. Vampire venom is an aphrodisiac—and a mild one, at that. It can only enhance what’s already there.
It doesn’t create false feelings.” A bemused chuckle followed.
“Gods, we’re incubus demons. Literally designed for sex and pleasure.
Even our touch can’t force feelings that don’t already exist.”
I reverted immediately to my mouth-hanging-open-when-words-fail-me pose.
“You didn’t take advantage of me,” Blaise continued gently. “Even without the venom, the way you looked at me... that still would’ve been the moment I realized I was in love with you.”
Then a wicked smile tugged at his lips, and he offered me a playful wink.
“But,” he added, “the venom definitely enhanced what followed.”
“Aw, you guys... ” Caitlyn said from her end of the table. She pressed her hands to her cheeks as she gushed, and something warm unfurled in my chest.
This is going to work, I realized.
And for the first time that evening—no, for the first time in months—the tightness around my ribs finally dissipated.
And that’s when I felt it.
The inferno I’d always felt for Blaise, dampened under months of guilt and years of restraint, wasn’t actually an inferno at all.
It was a mating bond.
With what little strength I had left, I managed the four words that summed it all up.
“I’m a fucking idiot.”
I half expected Blaise to crack a joke. Instead, he sat there, the grin on his face wavering. It took me a moment to realize why.
He’d just professed his love for me.
And he was waiting to hear whether I’d accept it.
I really, truly, was a fucking idiot.
I grabbed his hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw the creepy doll move, her hands lifting to her cheeks in an identical mirror of Caitlyn’s gushing.
“I love you, Blaise,” I said. “I’ve always loved you. From the moment—”
Blaise’s lips crashed into mine.
His scent billowed over me—cardamom and sandalwood and love and hope—and fuck, his lips were so fucking soft despite the force with which he pressed them to mine. When his tongue nudged insistently at the seam of my mouth, he swallowed my groan as I opened for him.
Heat licked up my spine as his tongue swept across mine. My mind emptied of thoughts and I barely registered the sound of wood scraping beneath me and what sounded like tiny feet retreating out of the kitchen.
And then, without breaking the kiss for even a second, Blaise was straddling me.
My arms wrapped around him, palms flattening against his back as I dragged him closer.
It was his groan I swallowed when his hard length pressed against mine, his fingers coming up to cup my cheeks as his tongue explored my mouth—possessive and hungry and, fuck, I was such a fucking idiot for wasting years restraining myself over nothing.
All too quickly, it was over.
He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against mine, breath warm against my lips, a goofy, utterly Blaise grin tugging at his mouth.
“I’ve wanted to do that for six months.”
“I’ve wanted to do it forever,” I said.
The slightest inhale of breath reminded me that we weren’t alone. We broke apart, both of us turning to face Caitlyn.
My cock pulsed against Blaise’s, restrained by the fabric between us, as I took in the way her bottom lip was caught between her teeth.
The way her chest rose and fell in quick, rapid beats, as if her breath was trying to match her thundering heartbeat.
The way she took us in, her honeysuckle-heavy desire flooding the room.
Our mate was incredibly turned on by the sight of us.
And suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to taste that desire on my lips.
Her cheeks flushed when she realized we were watching her, but she didn’t look away.
Blaise’s voice was dark and coaxing, desire threading every word. “Do you want to join us, Caitlyn,” he asked softly, “or would you rather watch?”
“Both,” was all she managed.
Blaise pressed a light kiss to my lips before easing himself off me and rising to his feet. He held a hand out to Caitlyn and then to me.
“Then let’s show you to our bedroom.”