24. Hattie
TWENTY-FOUR
Hattie
We’re standing in the middle of Spirit Halloween, forty-five minutes from the orchard, looking at Halloween costumes.
I’m waiting for Ollie to decide what he wants to be, even though it’s Halloween and his choices are very limited.
Trust me, it’s been something I’ve been asking him for months.
It’s not like we didn’t know it was coming.
But with Benny dying and his father coming back, I’ve been a little more relaxed about things like this.
I’ve tried not to give him a hard time, but now we’re spending the night sorting through the rejected costumes.
At least that’s how it’s going to be for me.
The kids’ costumes are still fully stocked, ready for last-minute parents to come through.
“I don’t see anything.” Ollie sighs.
“What about this one?” I hold up a cowboy costume that’s supposed to be Woody from Toy Story.
“Yes! But where’s yours?” He frowns.
“Let’s go to the adult section and see if they have a Jessie costume.” I decide.
“You can’t be Jessie, Mom,” Ollie says.
“What? Why not?” I look down at him, confused.
“Mom, it makes more sense for Emmy to be Jessie. She already has the red hair,” Ollie says matter-of-factly. I don’t even know if Emmy will dress up with us, but I entertain the thought anyway.
“But then what am I going to be?” I ask.
“You’ll be Buzz,” he says in sort of a duh tone, as if it’s obvious.
“Why Buzz?” I ask.
“Because Buzz and Jessie love each other,” Ollie says.
Before I can ask what that has to do with anything, he’s found a Buzz and Jessie costume. He races to the register ahead of me to get in line.
“Love Bug, I don’t know if Emmy is dressing up with us. We can’t assume she’ll be coming with us; she’s not working…” I start, but Ollie cuts me off.
“I already asked her.”
“Oh, you did?” I ask. “What did she say?”
“She said yes.” He looks at me like I’m the weird one, so I don’t ask anything else. Leave it to my seven-year-old to have more confidence than I do. At least I’m doing something right.
When we get back home, I’m worried Emmy is going to be out or forget what she agreed to.
But instead, Ollie races inside with the costume, and they’re both high-fiving about the whole thing.
Part of me wonders if they’re somehow in cahoots with each other.
No, Emmy wouldn’t form some secret alliance with my son to try and get me. That would just be silly.
“Hey, sorry I forgot to mention the costume. Ollie asked me the other day, and I totally forgot about it until you guys left today. I don’t know if you’re cool with me tagging along, but he asked me to go trick-or-treating with you guys,” Emmy explains as Ollie heads upstairs to get changed.
“Oh, of course you can come,” I say quickly.
“Let me know how much it was, and we can take it out of next week’s pay?” she asks.
“Don’t worry about it, my treat for how awesome you’ve been. Ollie is so happy, and I know that’s because of you.” I smile.
“Awesome, I didn’t wanna impose, but I love Halloween. And it’ll be a while before my niece and nephew can go trick-or-treating and actually remember it,” Emmy says.
“They’re like what, two months old?” I laugh; she is such a cute aunt, excitedly waiting for them to grow up.
“Yes, but they’re very advanced. They can both do tummy time without crying,” she brags.
“Very impressive,” I admit. Doing tummy time with Ollie was actual torture; I had to beg him to do it.
“Why aren’t you guys ready?” Ollie asks to come back down in his costume.
“Oh, my goodness!” I gush. “You look adorable!”
“Moooom,” Ollie groans.
“Fine, we’re going.” I ruffle his hair on the way upstairs to change.
I can’t help but laugh when I put the Buzz costume on.
It makes me look absolutely ridiculous, but I know Ollie’s going to love it.
My hair hides under the hooded space helmet, and it’s a size too big, so it’s practically falling off me.
But it does look authentic, and everyone will know who I am, so I guess that’s what matters.
At least we aren’t going to a costume contest tonight because we would definitely lose.
I walk downstairs ready for Ollie to laugh, but I spot Emmy first. Her red hair is tied into two long braids, her freckles are somehow accentuated, and Jessie’s signature red hat is on her head.
Emmy’s wearing the costume we bought, but it must be a little small because it hugs every inch of her curves.
She’s bent over while helping Ollie with something, and I watch the slope of her ass from the stairs.
Almost forgetting I’m walking down them, I’m immediately taken back to the other day in bed together.
We still haven’t had a moment alone to talk about what it all means.
She had left me that note letting me know we’d talk in the morning, but then it’s been one thing or another.
We can’t have the conversation with Ollie around, but when he’s not around, then one of us isn’t.
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to have a conversation with my nanny.
I’m half tempted to hire another babysitter just so we can have a five-minute conversation.
“Actually, I forgot something.” I run back upstairs, taking my phone out of my pocket and dialing Tilly.
“What’s up?” she answers right away.
“Can you watch Ollie tonight?” I ask hopefully.
“Uh, tonight? I sort of have plans with Bells,” she says hesitantly.
“Oh, duh. I don’t wanna know what weird sex things you’re up to.”
“It’s not weird! But Lina’s here if you want me to ask her?” Tilly suggests.
“Yes!” I scream louder than I should.
“Okay, okay. One second.” Tilly must put the phone away from her face because I can’t hear anything. It’s all muffled sounds, and then she’s back. “Okay, Lina said she can watch him. She doesn’t have plans. There will be pumpkin cookies and a movie marathon.”
“Tell her thank you, and I love her.”
“I think she can hear you. Are you good?” Tilly chuckles.
“I want to talk to Emmy about our…whatever, but Ollie is always around, and I need tonight to be the night because we’re both finally home,” I explain.
“Ah, okay, talk. Sure. Well, while you guys talk, I’ll be talking to Bells all night too,” Tilly teases, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I actually mean talk, you ass. But tell Lina thank you.”
I say goodbye before she can tell me anything else.
“Hey, Ol, can you pack a bag? Auntie Lina asked if you wanted to sleep over tonight. She said something about pumpkin cookies and a movie marathon?” I ask Ollie.
“Heck yeah!” Ollie runs upstairs, and I use the moment to talk to Emmy.
“I was hoping we could finally have that talk tonight? We’ve both been so busy, but he’ll be at Lina’s, so there shouldn’t be any interruptions,” I tell Emmy.
She looks surprised, her green eyes looking at me in shock. “Sure.”
“No pressure. You didn’t have other plans, did you?” I ask, realizing she could have a date tonight for all I know.
“Not unless you count catching up on my book club read as plans.” She laughs. “I’m sorry, I’m really trying to take you seriously, but that costume is throwing me off.”
“Oh my God, I completely forgot what I look like.” I laugh. “Is it that bad?”
Emmy shakes her head. “No! It’s so cute, but also silly as hell.”
We’re laughing when Ollie returns with a backpack full of stuff.
I don’t want to embarrass him by checking it over for him.
So I lean down to whisper in his ear about remembering clean underwear and his toothbrush.
He mutters to himself and then runs back upstairs, returning a few minutes later to shove more stuff into his bag.
“So where are we trick-or-treating, anyway?” Emmy asks as we head outside. There is a sharp wind making it at least ten degrees colder than it should’ve been. At least all of our costumes have long sleeves.
“They open all the stores in town, and we go there! We’re meeting my friends from the arts and crafts club. We go together every year,” Ollie says proudly.
We hop into my car, drive into town, and meet everyone at the library.
There’s a handful of greetings and compliments on our costumes while everyone gets situated.
I say hello to all the parents I know and introduce Emmy.
Then Ollie takes off to the front of the group with his friends, all of us walking in a group into town.
The kids go in and out of the businesses, grabbing candy and shouting thank you.
Literary Leaves gives out bookmarks with their candy, while the florist gives out baby pumpkins.
By the time we’re back at the library, Ollie has a basket full of candy—among other stuff.
We head back to the orchard, dropping the car off at the house before heading toward the event building.
In the parking lot, there’s a trunk-or-treat event going on, with almost fifty cars set up to give out candy.
We usually do an animal-themed car to promote the orchard and the animal shelter, but I told Tilly and Bells I didn’t have the energy for it this year.
My life is busy enough without trying to come up with a concept, decorating, and handing out candy.
“So are kidnappers just not a thing here?” Emmy whispers to me.
“What?” I look at her, confused.
“We’re standing in a parking lot of strangers…who are opening their trunks…for kids to take candy. So, I’m just guessing Sapphire Falls must not have a lot of kidnappings,” she muses.
“Well, when you put it that way…” I frown. I hadn’t really thought of it like that before.
“What other way is there to put it?” She raises an eyebrow.
I laugh. “I’m never going to see it any other way now.”
How many times was I warned as a kid not to trust a stranger offering me candy to get in their car?
Emmy shrugs, popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth.
This had been such a norm for us that I had never really thought to question it.
But Emmy has a point: why is trunk-or-treating such a normalized thing?
And come to think of it, who was the first to create it?
I try to ignore the horror-movie explanations popping into my head.
“We usually do one, but this year we were too busy. Mama said next year we can use Benny’s truck and make a big one,” Ollie rattles on to Emmy.
“I’m not quite sure I said a big one,” I interject.
“Yes, you did,” Ollie insists. “It’s a truck, so you’d have to do a big one.” He frowns.
“He’s got a point,” Emmy says.
“We’ll see if you agree when you’re helping us decorate it next year.” I laugh.
Emmy laughs too, but there’s a flash of recognition in her eyes.
Something I know all too well: what if she isn’t here in another year?
It’s something we haven’t discussed, even regarding care for Ollie.
When I hired her, I was so concerned about getting help right away that I hadn’t even bothered to ask how long she planned on staying.
She mentioned this might be temporary, but with her moving in and selling her dad’s house, I thought maybe it was becoming more permanent.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’m hoping that Ollie—and my impression on her—might make her want it to be more permanent, too.