34. Hattie
THIRTY-FOUR
Hattie
“Can you believe it took us almost a month to get a redo on our first date?” I ask Emmy, who’s driving us in Benny’s truck.
“I think it was worth the wait.” Emmy smiles as she glances over to squeeze my thigh.
It’s the first week of December now, and of course today is the first snowfall of the season but we aren’t letting that stop us.
I asked Tilly to put the snow tires on the truck and we’re on our way.
Bells recommended checking out this small town her friend was from as a cute first date so we were excited.
Bells and Tilly are watching Ollie, and they don’t care what time we get back.
I’m just excited to finally be able to go on a date with her.
We’ve spent a lot of time getting to know each other’s bodies and a lot of time the three of us.
So it’s nice just spending time the two of us talking and learning more about each other.
“What do you think about telling Ollie around Valentine’s day?” I ask.
“Really?” Emmy asks, surprised.
“I was reading some things online. If it’s a new person the parent is dating they suggest waiting at least six months before introducing them to the child.
But a lot of the things don’t apply to us because you’re his nanny.
Then I was thinking of just telling him now, but I think he has a lot going on with this being his first holiday season with Christopher back. So is Valentine’s day okay?” I ramble.
Emmy smiles. “You’re asking me if I’m okay knowing that I’ll soon be able to hold your hand and hug you in front of Ollie? Of course that’s okay with me.”
“Really?” I ask, making sure. This wasn’t something to do lightly, or something we could take back.
“Babe, I told you I’d wait as long as you needed. If you’re ready then I’m ready, but if you need more time then I get that too. I’m here for the long haul.” She squeezes my thigh tightly again.
“Okay.” I smile. My cheeks warming up thinking about telling Ollie. There will be no more sneaking around and no more worrying about what he might think.
“Okay, Bells said the bookstore is all romance books. But there’s a candy store, toy store and a really good diner too,” Emmy says as she pulls into a narrow parking space. Somehow she gets the truck to fit, and walks around to open my door.
“Can we eat first? I’m starving,” I admit.
“Of course.” She takes my hand, holding it tightly under our gloves.
My breath hits the frosty air, and I internally groan.
I hate the stupid winter and this kind of weather.
I miss being able to feel the leaves crunch under my feet and not having to wear fifty layers.
I missed feeling Emmy’s skin instead of my gloves, and I hated not being able to see any of her body.
I’m counting down the days until next fall.
Emmy leads us down the road to Liz’s Diner.
It’s sort of retro with a cute vibe inside where we’re immediately given a table at a booth.
We’re handed huge menus by an older woman and everything sounds delicious.
I shrug off my jacket, scarf, and gloves, putting them into my purse.
I don’t know why I spent so much time picking a cute outfit if Emmy was barely going to see it.
“What are you getting?” she asks, looking at me over her menu.
“Hmm.” I start to look, but again, I’m distracted by all the decor and people inside.
There’s a dark-haired woman with a killer jawline.
She’s sitting across from a redhead, and they look like regulars—at least by the way the waitress talks to them.
There’s an older couple at the counter drinking coffee and having small bowls of soup.
“Hattie?” Emmy smiles.
“Sorry, it’s so cute in here. But I think I’ll have a grilled cheese with bacon and tomato. I haven’t had one in forever,” I say, and my stomach growls in confirmation.
“I’m getting the turkey burger and waffle fries but do you want to split some onion rings?” she asks.
“Onion rings on a first date?” I feign a gasp. “I guess someone doesn’t want a kiss at the end of the night.”
“Maybe someone has gum packed.” Emmy raises an eyebrow.
I laugh. “I’m just kidding. Onion rings sound delicious.”
We order, handing back our menus and getting waters in return. Emmy and I catch up about our weeks. Even though we live together and see each other, we don’t often have time to just talk. A lot of the time it’s about Ollie or house stuff or even about Christopher.
Thinking of Christopher, thankfully he’s calmed down a bit.
He seems to be focused on getting adjusted to town and his job while making time for Ollie.
He’s stopped badgering me about taking him for the weekend and seeing him without Emmy there.
I think he finally understands what I’m doing and only time can change how I feel about it all.
I was worried we’d never get there but the holidays seem to be mellowing him out.
Or maybe he’s worried I’m going to come after him for all the backpay of child support he owes me.
Either way, I’ll take the change in behavior.
“Where did you hide the elf today?” Emmy asks. We’ve both been taking turns hiding Ollie’s elf on the shelf. Today, the elf named Fredrico—who he named when he was three—was found in the fridge turning the milk green.
“I did the green milk one, I wanted to do red but we ran out of food dye,” I explain.
“Ah, sorry about that,” Emmy says shyly. She and Ollie had used most of it when they made sugar cookies the other day and dyed the frosting red to make Santa hats.
“It’s okay, do you have an idea for tonight?” I ask.
The food arrives just as Emmy is pulling out her phone and showing me an elaborate thing involving sprinkles in the kitchen.
“Why does this elf cause so much mischief? Isn’t it supposed to report to Santa and go home?” I ask, taking a bite of my grilled cheese. It was as buttery and delicious as it looked.
“Yes, but it’s fun. If it just sat in the same spot every night it would be boring. What did you do with it last year?” Emmy asks.
“Uh, I don’t know if I should say.” I wince.
“Come on,” Emmy encourages.
“Fine, I mostly just moved it around the house. Once I put it on the tree and he didn’t find it for three days so it bought me some time,” I admit.
“Babe! That’s so boring. No wonder he’s so excited with it. Next year I’ll have to come up with a bigger game plan. I’ve been taking photos so I don’t accidentally do anything twice,” Emmy explains.
“Next year?” A smile spreads across my face as the words aren’t lost on me.
“Well duh, it’ll be hard to get rid of me now.” She winks.
The rest of dinner I have a goofy grin on my face that won’t go away.
Emmy covers the bill and we head to the bookstore, Reading Into It.
Even though I’m not much of a reader, it’s worth it for the warmth and to see the look on Emmy’s face.
She was desperately trying to decide between books and ended up getting a stack along with a tote bag and a few bookmarks.
We stop at the toy store and grab a few things for Ollie for Christmas before heading back to the car.
“I was hoping we could get some dessert, but it looks like everything in this town closes early. Do you want to grab something back in Sapphire Falls?” Emmy asks when we get back to her truck.
“Yes, please. I’m getting a sweet craving for something.” I nod.
“Oh, me too,” Emmy says.
Before I can ask her what she’s in the mood for, she’s kissing me.
Her lips somehow warm in the cold winter night.
Her body presses against mine, leaning into the truck’s doors.
I moan as she teases me with her tongue before pulling away to open the door for me.
Dizzy with desire, I climb in pull down the mirror to check my lip gloss before we drive home.
“Wait, what is this?” I pick up the plain white envelope that fell from the passenger mirror.
“Oh, it’s uh, nothing,” Emmy says shyly. I flip it over, realizing it’s addressed to her dad.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry, I can put it back.” I go to but she catches my hand.
“You can read it if you want. It’s not like anyone else can.” She chuckles awkwardly.
“Are you sure? I don’t wanna intrude on something private.”
“No. It’s okay. I’d like to think maybe it fell out for a reason.” She shrugs.
I nod, opening the letter carefully and reading along in my head.
Dear dad,
I’m always going to wish I had spent more time on the phone with you, or getting to know you when you were here.
I think you were taken from here way too soon.
But I also am so thankful for what your death has brought me.
I never would’ve considered moving to a small town like Sapphire Falls, but now I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
Moving here to sell your house gave me a family I didn’t know I needed.
I found the love of my life and a boy who makes me so happy.
Selling your house will get me through grad school and give me the career I always wanted.
But stumbling through your town, shopping at the same bookstore and seeing people who knew you, it feels like I’m living part of your life.
I wonder how you’d fit into all this if you were here.
I’d like to think you’d be proud of me. I’d also like to think you’d like Hattie and Ollie.
I miss you. And I’m sorry we didn’t take more time being together when you were here but you’re still living in this town. Gigi talks about you with me, and I got that book you preordered. I didn’t realize I got my love of reading from you, but I can’t wait to dive into this one.
I know this is probably how you thought things would turn out.
But I wanted to tell you that I’m okay, and I’m living as much as I can for you.
I know life doesn’t last forever and I don’t want to make a grocery list I’ll never get to buy.
So I’m loving hard and being myself and hopefully you’re somewhere watching all this unfold.
Heck, maybe you knew this was going to happen.
I don’t know how it all works. I just wanted to let you know that I’m happy, and that’s because of you, but also because of Sapphire Falls.
Love,
Emmy
By the end of the letter, I’m crying. I can’t even hide it, and Emmy pulls to the side of the road so she can comfort me.
Folding the letter, I place it back in the envelope.
Emmy hands me a tissue, and I laugh. Somehow she’s always ready with a handful of tissues for me.
I swear I never cried as much until I started dating her.
That probably sounds really bad, but it’s therapeutic the way I’m able to cry and let go without feeling judged.
“I’m so glad I read that,” I say quietly.
“I’m so glad I met you.”
“Am I really the love of your life?” I ask.
Her green eyes flicker to the letter then back to me. “I wouldn’t write it if it weren’t true.”
“But that means you love me.”
“Yeah, I most definitely do. But please don’t feel any obl—” I cut her off with a kiss, which is harder than I anticipate with the arm rest between us.
“I love you too,” I say, pulling back.
Emmy smiles. “I love you.”