Chapter 19 - Arden
ARDEN
Knock. Knock.
I stare at the blank screen of my laptop and then my front door as the knocking starts again. It’s light with a little rhythm so it’s probably one of the girls. Throwing the blanket off my lap, I stand, stretching as I walk the short distance to the door and pull it open.
“Morning, Sunshine!” Bea says, her smile wide and infectious as she stares at me. She’s wearing leggings with little cartoon goats on them and a denim button-up. Her light hair is pulled up into a messy bun that makes her look effortlessly adorable.
Staring down at my oversized T-shirt and black leggings, I’m arguably not cute this morning.
“Come in,” I tell her with a laugh as she practically bounces into the kitchen. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Do you want the real answer or the other one?” she asks, pulling jars out of her oversized purse and stacking them on the island.
“There’s an other one?”
“Obviously.”
“Okay, what’s that one?”
“My sole purpose was to bring you these!” She waves at the jars with a flourish.
“What’s the real answer?” I ask, leaning a hip against the corner of the marble countertop.
“Your father called Ellison and said he wanted to make sure someone came to check on you today, but Ellison is working and I was available and love you anyway so I volunteered.” She pauses. “And also I wanted to bring you these.” She points at the lotions again.
“Tell me about the lotions. I don’t have the mental capacity to unload the other part.”
“They say it’s never too early to start lotioning your belly, so I made you a couple of different ones in case you don’t vibe with the scent.”
Tears sting the back of my eyes—seriously, this better not be a thing—and I have to look up at the ceiling to blink those fuckers back.
“Do not say a word,” I grumble and she laughs.
“Aww, you pregnant ladies are adorable.”
“Shut up,” I manage but not without a grin tugging at my lips. “It’s just a lot; everything is a lot. I’m only twelve weeks and I was weepy over a commercial I saw on TV.”
“Are you gonna find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“Yes. I don’t have that kind of restraint.”
“Oh, thank goodness. Ellison isn’t finding out and I’m tempted to pay the nurse off just to get the results.”
I snort out a laugh and shake my head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe, but it made you smile.”
“It did.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Dropping onto one of the stools, I pick up the pen I forgot to put away and twirl it between my fingers. “There’s a lot of emotion swirling around and I don’t know how to manage it because I’m having trouble managing my own.”
“You’re allowed to feel what you feel,” she says gently.
“I don’t know how I feel. I feel all of it and nothing at the same time. I—”
Buzz. Buzz.
My phone vibrates on the coffee table and I throw the pen onto the counter before sliding off the stool and retrieving it.
JUDE: Did you eat today?
ARDEN: Yes
JUDE: Okay…what did you eat?
ARDEN: We’re not doing this every day
JUDE: I need to know what I’m restocking in your fridge
“Is that Jude?” Bea singsongs, a blush creeping up my cheeks.
“Yes, he’s badgering me about eating.”
“I think that’s called caring.”
“Whose side are you on?” I huff, one hand dropping to rest on my hip, and she laughs.
“Right now, his.”
“Traitor.”
Stomping over to the fridge, I pull open the door to find…nothing. Crap. Closing it, I try the freezer and find one meatloaf dinner because I managed to make myself some plain pasta yesterday for dinner.
“I love that he cooks for you,” Bea says dreamily.
“Does Archer cook for you?” I ask over my shoulder.
“He does but he’s better at writing me little poems.”
“That’s still the sweetest story.”
“Yeah,” she concedes, “it’s definitely a good one.”
Bea met Archer not long after she moved to Blackstone Falls, and he’d been too nervous to talk to her.
Instead, he got her number from a mutual friend and sent her little poems asking her out.
He’s still nervous most of the time, and the poor guy blushes like mad when he’s caught off guard, but I love their love.
Honestly, I’m surrounded by some pretty great love stories—Montana and Ellison, Lana and Mason, Bodhi and Ella, Jensen and Nessa. Strangers that turned to friends that became family.
The flicker of hope that ignites inside me is a sweet seduction, tempting me to believe that I could have that too. That I could have a love so passionate and consuming that you never want to know life without it.
A love just for me.
Jude could be that.
Shaking the words from my mind, I focus on my friend because the fact that Jude and I have amazing sex and he wants to help and support me through this pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s love.
It means he’s a good man who cares about me and our baby. That’s it.
And that’s okay.
It has to be.