Chapter 26 Jude
JUDE
thought that the hardest part of finding out I’m going to be a father would be the initial shock, but I was wrong.
So wrong.
Things between Arden and me felt like they were finally back on track while she was in Chicago, but the moment she stepped foot in Blackstone Falls, all those doubts and feelings of inadequacy came back in a rush.
And nothing I did seemed to make any difference. Gone was the flirty woman who let me cook for her and dressed my dog up in pajamas, and in her place was a woman who’s so hot and cold I can hardly keep up.
I’m exhausted.
And more than a little pissed—but not at her.
ARDEN: Are you still picking me up for the scan today?
JUDE: I’ll be there at two thirty
JUDE: I had to order a pink shirt online—I couldn’t find anything that fit around here
ARDEN: You did not
JUDE: I think I look good in pink
JUDE: I might need some more of these
ARDEN: Well let’s just wait till the appointment before you go full girl dad on me
JUDE: You got it, Tennessee
Pocketing my phone, I step out of my truck and walk the short distance between the driveway and the front porch, the door opening before I’ve even had a chance to knock.
“Ms. James.”
“What can I do for you, Jude?” Arden’s mother says, a mixture of defiance and resignation in her tone.
So she knows who I am then.
“Do you know what today is?”
She blinks at me. “It’s Thursday.”
“No. Today is the day we find out if you’ll have a granddaughter or a grandson.” She blanches. “I realize this must be hard for you, but you’re killing your daughter.”
“Excuse me?” she gasps, her hands clenching at her sides.
“Every text, every hint of your disappointment sends her spiraling, and I’m trying my damnedest to pick up the pieces.
My parents are gone. It’s just me and my brother but I can assure you that if I called him right now, he’d be on your porch in five minutes, no questions asked.
That is what family should be. If I need to be the bad guy and cut you out of our lives, I will.
And I won’t bat an eye because I’ve seen the damage your disapproval has caused over the last few months and now, I’m done. ”
“I’ve never wanted to hurt my daughter,” she whispers, her eyes glassy with tears as she hugs herself.
“Well, you are, and if you can’t figure out how to get over your own bullshit then I can’t let you be a part of the life we’re creating.”
“I misjudged you.”
“Happens a lot,” I tell her. “Know who’s never judged me? Your daughter.”
“She’s lucky to have you,” she manages, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry. Things with Evan have been wonderful this time around, and then when Arden told me she’s pregnant… Well, it felt like I was back in the past, holding my own pregnancy test. I was so alone, but she’s not.”
“She’s not. And she never will be. I’m sorry your own experience wasn’t the one you hoped for, but you still managed to raise an incredible woman. Right now that woman needs a mother who is going to love and support her the way you promised the day she was born.”
“I’ve been trying—”
“No, you’ve been trying for you. You need to try for her. Don’t make her guess; show her the unconditional love she deserves.”
“I will. I promise.”
“For your sake, I hope so.”
ARDEN
“And here is the head,” the ultrasound technician says as she moves the wand over my stomach with one hand as she points at the screen. “And over here we have ten little fingers.”
She smiles as she talks through what she’s doing. Jude’s hand is gripped in mine as he stares at the moving image. No one commented on his pink shirt, and not for the first time, I hope it’s a girl because this man is delicious on a normal day, but as a girl dad? That’s hotness overload.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, his eyes darting to mine before flicking back to the screen.
“I didn’t know what to expect but it’s actually looking like a baby.”
His voice is full of awe, and it makes my heart all melty because this huge man has been taken to his knees by just the sight of our baby.
“All right, I have a note here that says you want to know if it’s a boy or girl. Is that right?”
“Yes,” I tell her as Jude’s massive paw tightens around mine.
“Do you have any guesses?” she singsongs, moving the wand around again with a smile on her face.
“We think it’s a girl,” Jude murmurs, his mouth pressed to the knuckles of our joined hands.
“It’s a girl!” she cheers before doing a little shimmy and taking a few more pictures for us to take home. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you so much,” I tell her. “We’re excited.” I look pointedly at Jude, his lips turning up in the corner the slightest bit.
“Feel free to take a minute before heading out, and congratulations again.”
Handing the pictures to Jude, she makes her exit as I grab a paper towel and wipe away some rogue gel before righting my shirt.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask, a myriad of emotions crossing his face.
“It feels more real.”
Tilting my head to the side, I point at my stomach. “It’s very real.”
“I know and you’re sexy as hell, but”—he holds up the picture—“that’s our baby. Our daughter. I just—”
He closes the distance between us, cupping my face in his hands as he tilts my mouth up to meet his. The kiss is demanding, so much of what he couldn’t say being poured into every swipe of his tongue and nip of his teeth.
It’s heaven and I missed this.
Missed him.
Because Jude Rhodes isn’t the kind of man that just fades into the background, at least not for me.
He’s addicting in a way that’s not just physical. I crave his strength and his calm and the way he wants to take care of me.
It would be so easy to fall for him.
But I don’t want it to be because we accidentally got pregnant.
I want it to be for real.