Chapter 35 Arden
ARDEN
Staring at your computer screen when you’re on deadline is not for the faint of heart. I need to have this article into the paper in the next four hours, and unless I find some motivation real soon, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
Frustrated, I flip my phone face up on the table, the screen lighting up with two missed messages.
JUDE: Will our daughter have godparents?
JUDE: That’s still a thing right?
ARDEN: I haven’t really thought about it but I guess she could
ARDEN: Do you have people in mind?
JUDE: I’d really like Deacon to be the godfather
JUDE: It would mean a lot
I stare at the message, reading it a second time before I can respond. It feels a little desperate and I wonder what brought this on.
ARDEN: I think your brother would be a great choice
JUDE: Thank you
ARDEN: Why do I get the feeling you were bracing for a fight?
JUDE: It surprised me today. I got overwhelmed with the way things are changing.
ARDEN: To be clear—you’re the one that had to move in with me
JUDE: I stand by that
JUDE: And you’re not getting rid of me
ARDEN: Worth a try
ARDEN: (gif of a woman shrugging her shoulders)
ARDEN: Also it’s more likely that we’d fight over the way you fold the towels from the dryer than assigning godparents
JUDE: The towels are fine
ARDEN: They are now because I refolded them
JUDE: Keep it up—I’ll refold them my way—I got nothing but time
ARDEN: You will NOT touch those towels if you ever want to see me naked again
JUDE: Now why did you have to be mean like that?
ARDEN: Don’t be dramatic
JUDE: No one has ever accused me of being dramatic
ARDEN: Well I guess we’re both trying new things today
JUDE: This went off the rails quickly
ARDEN: Sorry—I should probably have a snack
ARDEN: Also I’m sorry today has been hard and that you didn’t think I’d be okay with the most important person in your life having a title to reflect that
JUDE: You’re the most important person in my life
ARDEN: That can’t be right
JUDE: Tennessee…
ARDEN: Country Rhodes…
ARDEN: I’m still so proud of that nickname
ARDEN: I might even feel a song coming on…
ARDEN: Totally a catchy tune
JUDE: You’re in so much trouble when I get home
ARDEN: We’ll see (shrugging emoji)
On that note, I’d better get back to writing…
JUDE
I expect to find Arden naked and ready to jump me as soon as I walk in the door, but that’s not the version I find.
“What happened?” I ask, dropping to one knee in front of her as I cup her sad face in my hands. “I need names, baby.”
She nuzzles against my palm with a watery smile. “No one,” she whispers, a lone tear sliding down her cheek. “I was fine. I turned my article in on time and then Bea asked about dates for the shower and I just—”
She sniffles, and using the table for leverage, I get to my feet, picking her up into my arms as I take her to the couch.
“We knew there’d be a shower,” I say gently. The girls had already agreed that they’d keep it small and intimate—the regular group, a few more people from town, and a couple from Clementine Creek.
“I know, but I thought my mom would be there. I have no one coming for just me, Jude. And I get it. They’re my friends, but I’m supposed to have my mom and I just—”
The sob that fills the room is heartbreaking. It’s the kind that sounds when your soul is in mourning. It hurts and right now I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I can fix it.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur against her hair. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Why can’t I just let it go?”
“Because boundaries are important, and even though it hurts, it was the right thing to do. We’re going to make this okay.
I’m not saying it’s going to be perfect, but you’re going to enjoy yourself and we’re going to celebrate our daughter and it’s going to be overstimulating, and your sister will probably end up with a farm animal that Montana will hate. ”
The last part has her choking out a laugh and I’m thankful because while I’ve heard plenty of stories about Ellison and her penchant for acquiring creatures of all shapes and sizes, I haven’t gotten to experience it yet. It’d been a shot in the dark, but it worked enough to dry Arden’s tears.
“I love you.” The words are a whisper as she wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face against the column of my throat.
“Arden.” Her name comes out as a rasp because I don’t want her to say it just because tonight has been devastating and she’s emotional.
“Shh…I can love you and still make you sleep in the guest room.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
“Mm-hmm…”
“Hey, Tennessee?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.”