Chapter 41 Arden
ARDEN
“Oh, good, you brought snacks!” my sister says when I hoist my canvas bag into the truck and narrow my eyes at her.
“You told me to bring snacks,” I grunt as I pull myself up into the seat with a huff. “And there’s no way in hell I want to eat your chips,” I tell her, wrinkling my nose. “I might make you eat them with the window open.”
“That’s not nice.”
“Neither is making the cab smell like a gym locker.”
This time my sister wrinkles her nose. She winces as I buckle my seatbelt. “Well, thanks for that. You might have to share your snacks because now all I can think about is gym lockers.”
“You should probably thank me.”
“I’ll do no such thing.” She sniffs, easing out onto the road. “And you can deal with Montana when he comes home to find alpacas and a pallet of pickle chips I can’t eat.”
“Shut up, you did not get a pallet of chips.” I laugh, turning up “Whole Lotta Little” by Emily Ann Roberts on the radio.
Ellison twists her lips in a wry grin. “It’s not a pallet, but it is far more bags than any one person should ever have in their possession at one time.”
“Oh! Maybe you should give them to Cal. Did you know he’s coaching the varsity cross-country team?”
“Yeah, I think I’m up to like six things I’ve left in the art room that have world’s best coach printed on them.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I laugh but she just shrugs.
“I like to think I keep things interesting.”
“Can’t argue that,” I concede, “but maybe you can give them to Cal for the team? I mean, they’re running and healthy but they’re still teenagers.”
“That’s a good point. I’ll have to ask him. He’s trying to be sneaky and plan a baby shower at work and I’m going to kill him.”
“Oh, that sounds terrible.”
“Okay, well, no,” she says pointedly, looking at me before returning her eyes to the road. “You’ll have a shower.”
“Ellison.”
“No. You get to do all these fun things too.”
“You’re not selling it.”
“Fine, if I have to suffer through everyone telling me I’m glowing and ignoring the fact that I’m weeks away from not being able to see my feet over this belly, then so do you.”
“I don’t want to,” I whine, sticking my tongue out at her when she glares. “You’re excited to be pregnant and have a baby. Your friends are excited. I am a little gremlin with an angry giant who hates socializing as much as I do.”
“I know it’s hard. Hell, when I moved back here I didn’t want anything to do with any of it. Montana has always been my safe place, and it was never my intention to even speak to anyone outside him and Grandad and Celeste.”
“But—”
“But I did it for Montana and they’re all really great. No one is going to make it be anything more than what we want it to be.” Driving home the point, she adds, “They’re your friends too.”
“I never thought I’d even have kids,” I whisper, the admission suddenly loud as it hangs in the near silent cab as Ellison kills the music.
“You’re allowed to change your mind.”
“It’s not that,” I tell her, guilt settling over me. “I know your mom was terrible, but you had two parents. I just had my mom, and I watched her struggle and watched her settle for mediocre happiness.”
“You don’t think I’m scared shitless about turning into the woman who birthed me? Our father was better but he was no prize growing up.” She sighs and I hate myself for bringing this up.
For putting any of this on her.
“El—”
Putting her hand over mine, she squeezes.
“We have so much more than they ever had, Arden. We have each other. We have partners who care about us and support us and deal with the never-ending tears and cravings. We have the family we’ve created here.
You might have come to town for some closure but you stayed, and our kids are going to grow up wild and happy and so damn loved. ”
“Ugh, I hate you,” I lament, wiping at the tears rolling down my face.
“Aww. I love you too!”
“You’re the worst.”
“But I’m your favorite,” she teases, shimmying in her seat until I laugh. “Say it.”
“You’re my only sister.”
“Oooo, I’m tellin’ Bea and Nessa and Lana…”
“You’re ridiculous,” I tell her, her eyes widening as she looks from me to the road, “and my favorite.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“And look at this perfect timing,” she drawls. “We’re here.”