Chapter 1
Chapter One
Crew
“ D on’t worry, Crew. One day your Prince or Princess will come.” Lexington paused, his eyes dancing with laughter. “Of course, the goal is to make them come more than once, I would think.”
I stared at my best friend and took a step back. “Really? After all our time together, all the issues that surround us day in and day out, you go with that joke?”
Lex widened his eyes comically. “It’s a good joke. A great joke even. You are just one ballad away from becoming a Disney prince this point.”
Dash frowned. “Do princes get ballads? Usually it’s the princess who gets to sing about how her life is in shambles, or whatever dreams she has, or the fact that she’s falling in love. Do the guys even get a song of their own that’s not about how big their muscles are?”
Lex shook his head. “In Frozen 2 , the guy who talks to reindeer gets his own boy band song. It’s quite astounding because they didn’t let Jonathan Groff sing in the first movie beyond that weird reindeer song. And he is a Tony award winning singer. It was a disservice.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, wondering exactly how Lexington had not only become my best friend, but had also started to bring every single one of his family members into my circle. That was how Dash had joined in on our dinner for the evening.
“First, don’t call that song weird. We both know that most animals are better than people.”
Lex tilted his beer at me in acknowledgment.
“Second, he technically won the Tony after both movies were out.”
“I’m not worried but pleased that you know so much about Jonathan Groff. Is there anything else I should know?” Dash asked, a smile playing on his face before he took a sip of his beer.
“I had a crush on him and his costar from that serial killer show. She was hot. So of course I know things. I’m a fountain of useless knowledge. Get me on Jeopardy , and I could kick ass.” I winked before stealing one of Lex’s onion rings .
Lex narrowed his gaze at me. “You didn’t want onion rings. You wanted sweet potato fries. Why are you stealing mine?”
“Because they don’t taste good cold, and you’re letting them go to waste. I am just allowing the onion ring to fulfill its life’s purpose.” I crunched down on the greasy yet crispy perfection and took another sip of my beer.
“Now that I have learned far too much about you…” Dash continued, smiling, “let’s circle back to the original point of this conversation. Are you searching for your one and only? Because if you haven’t noticed, our family is starting to fall like flies. One after another. Quite frankly, I’m getting tired of weddings. I know everybody tries to have their ceremony slightly different, but in the end, it’s cake and flowers. Flowers and cake.”
Lexington gave me a look before rolling his eyes at his cousin. “Please do not tell any of our other family members—who happen to be in love—how you feel about weddings. Or you’ll have to deal with the wrath of the mothers.”
Dash didn’t back down. “You know I’m not wrong here.”
Lex shrugged, absently playing with the lettuce on his burger. “I don’t really care. Everybody does what they want and with all the crap our family has gone through over the past few years, they deserve cake and flowers.”
“I’d rather just have the cake.”
I held back a grin at the two of them as they continued to discuss the various family members that were either getting married, already married, or having babies. It was only because I knew the Montgomerys so well that I could keep up with the conversation.
Lex and Dash were first cousins, as their fathers were brothers. However, the rest of the Montgomerys called themselves cousins regardless of the connections. With so many children in their generation, it was just easier for everybody to go by the same moniker, that way they didn’t have to guess as to who the aunt, second aunt twice removed, or neighbor was.
As I had come from a single child household, with no cousins to speak of, my best friend’s family seemed a little ridiculous. They were loud, sometimes rowdy, but always there for you.
I knew they would lay down everything, including their own lives, to protect their family. I had seen it in action multiple times when danger came at them without warning.
And while part of me could be jealous over their closeness, in the end I knew they would do the same for me.
Because it had been Lex’s house that I had slept at when I was a kid and needed to get out from under my parents’ thumb.
When my mother’s fists had been sharper than her barbs. And when my father had stood back and allowed her to do so, before sending his own vitriol down the line. Sometimes the math of families didn’t add up to me. I was one. With two parents, and I’d been the statistic.
The one kid who’d been forced to hide his bruises, to pretend that I had just forgotten my lunch. Instead it had been a way for my father to lash out at me by throwing away the lunch I had made for myself. And neither one of my parents would’ve ever given me money in order to eat. Their little way to punish me even though they had more money than most knew what to do with.
It had been Lex and his cousins who had taken me in.
And yet with the multitudes of siblings and cousins that my best friend had, all of them had loving and caring parents. There might be secrets and fights, but that came with any family. No matter what, they knew they were loved and always had a place to run home to .
And in the end, I’d had a place to do the same. Even if my parents had done all they could to make sure it wasn’t a possibility.
“Earth to Crew, are you okay?”
I pulled myself out of my far too reflective thoughts and stole another onion ring. The fact that Lex didn’t say anything told me he was worried about me. He didn’t need to be. Nobody did. I was the sane one, the calm one out of all our friends. And if I kept telling myself that, I would one day believe it.
“I’m fine. And no, I’m not on the hunt for my one and only.”
Because I already found her.
Pain lashed against my soul one more time, and I ignored the sting. It was getting easier to do as time moved on. There was probably some semblance of peace or horror at that.
Maybe I didn’t love her. Maybe it was just need or an infatuation. But she didn’t love me back, and I wasn’t a man to beg.
I knew once I did, there would be no going back. She wasn’t ready.
And probably never would be.
“Does hunting for your one and only mean you’re on the hunt for many and everyone?” Dash asked, a grin on his face .
I rolled my eyes before taking another bite of my burger. I had gone with mushroom Swiss, but with the direction of this conversation, it tasted like sawdust.
I liked this bar and grill. It was a place we came too often. Maybe because we ate here as much as we did, it was starting to feel a little closed in. Everybody thought they knew us and what our situations were. Therefore I knew that there were gazes on us as they were trying to listen to our conversation. And I wasn’t a fan of that in any sense of the word.
“You know it,” I finally answered. “Why settle for one when you can have more?”
“I would ask if that was at the same time, but I don’t want to know the answer,” Lex said dryly. “Considering some of our family members are in triads.”
“I honestly don’t know how they do that,” I said with a shake of my head. “Dealing with just one other person for more than a few weeks is exhausting. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with two.”
“Noah, Ford, and Greer make it work,” Dash said with a shrug. “But you’re right. I don’t know if it’s for me.”
“You would actually have to get more than one person to want to be with you, and that’s asking a lot,” Lex said before he ducked Dash’s French fry.
“Stop throwing food,” Margaret the owner of Mastermind Bar and Grill said as she came forward. “Aren’t you going to protect your boyfriend?” she asked me, giving me a wink.
I rolled my eyes and handed Lex a napkin. “There you go, dear. Let me know if you need me to beat up your cousin.”
“You’re the sweetest, darling,” Lexington drawled.
Dash smirked before finishing his beer.
Margaret just looked between us, sighing. “The two of you are seriously the sweetest. Although I did like it when you were with Daisy. You two had chemistry. But I suppose you’re working your way through the Montgomerys,” Margaret tittered.
I fisted my hand, trying to keep the smile on my face pleasant. I liked coming here. The food was good, the atmosphere was fine, but it was getting a little too cloying for my tastes. “You know me. Once I’m done with Lex here, I’ll find my next one. What do you say, Dash?”
Dash held up both hands. “Sorry, as much as I think you’re hot, Lex would kill me if I stepped on his toes.”
“Damn straight. Don’t break us up before we’re even finished.”
Margaret sighed. “I don’t know if you two are kidding or not.”
“And you were doing a very good job about prodding,” I said dryly, only letting a hint of the anger slide into my gaze.
Margaret paled ever so slightly, before giving us a tight nod and heading back to the bar.
“Well then, it looks like we’re not getting another round,” Lex said with a sigh. “You want to head to another place?”
Feeling a little ashamed of my reaction, I shrugged. “I don’t need to go home, so sure. One more beer sounds like a plan.”
Dash drained his drink. “Sounds good to me. Although you need to teach me that the growly look of yours.”
I shook my head at Dash. “It’s genetics. Sorry, bub. “
Both Montgomerys gave each other a glance before trying to look nonchalant. Once again, I had gotten far too close to the truth. Because of course meanness and arrogance were in my genetics. I was my parents’ child after all. Only I didn’t use it to harm anyone. Nor did I use it to beat the shit out of people who constantly questioned me. Or tried to put me in a box that made no sense.
Lex and I weren’t dating. We never even tried. I had only dated Daisy, another Montgomery cousin. Technically I had been friends with Lex first, but in the end, I had grown closer to the Montgomerys because I had dated Daisy for a little while.
Now she was happily married, a mom, and had found herself a perfect, ready-made family. We were better off as friends.
Just as Lex and I were only friends.
No, there was only one Montgomery my damn heart craved, and she was the one Montgomery I couldn’t have again.
Been there. Done that. Punched a hole in the wall.
Without words we paid our check and headed to the bar next door. I had my two drink limit and didn’t want to go home. Because going home meant sitting alone in my house with the TV going, or a book in my hand. Or maybe countless files of paperwork I had on my desk. Between the gym, various other businesses I owned, and upcoming fights, I always had work to do.
The fact that somehow investing in real estate was only my side job helped me when I knew I wouldn’t be getting any sleep.
It was hard to sleep when I only had thoughts of the one woman I couldn’t help. Because she never wanted my help.
The three of us took a high top in the corner, the bartender getting us three beers on draft without even asking what we wanted. Either he remembered us or was in the mood to guess. I didn’t care at the moment. My mind was in a thousand different directions, and I needed to focus.
I had a project I was itching to complete—a painting I knew I needed to focus on. So many things that weren’t going to happen.
Not when Aria hadn’t texted me back.
My jaw tightened as I checked my phone once again, waiting for an acknowledgment. She had promised me she would text when she got home. Promised that she would let me know she was safe.
It didn’t matter that we hated each other. It didn’t matter that sometimes we wanted each other. And it sure as fuck didn’t matter that I loved her.
She had gone out into the state park by herself for a project and had promised to text when she got home.
And now it was dark, and she hadn’t done so.
If she didn’t text in the next thirty minutes, I’d call. I’d stop by her house. Just like the stalker I was.
I hated her just as much as I loved her, and I needed to make sure she was safe.
“Since we can’t talk about your love life, can we talk about your upcoming project?” Lex asked, and I pulled myself out of my worries.
“You know I don’t like talking about that shit. ”
“Don’t call your work shit,” Dash prodded.
“It’s always shit until I’m done. You know how it is.”
Dash rolled his eyes. “With the number of artists in our family, yes, I do. You and Aria are the exact same. You never like your things until it’s finally on the wall. And even then, you both growl about it.”
I did my best not to react at the sound of her name, but with the way that Lex looked at me, I had a feeling I hadn’t been as nonchalant as possible. Nobody knew how I felt about Aria. Not even Aria herself. I’d barely allowed my own faults to penetrate my mind. But Lex was not allowed to know what I felt about her. It would just fuck up everything that we already had. There was no future with her. It had taken me far too long to realize that. I was not about to ruin the one good thing I had in my life— the Montgomery family.
If they knew what Aria and I had done, how dirty and disrespectful we were to each other when I fucked her raw against every surface in my house, they’d never let me back in again.
“You should be ecstatic with the fact that Hunting Memories ended up in New York? That’s a great accomplishment. I’m proud of you.”
I shrugged at Dash’s words. “It is what it is. There’re countless other people out there that are better than me. ”
“Where is the arrogant asshole of an artist that I know and love?” Lex asked, and I flipped him off.
“I’m in a mood. Get over it.”
“You just need to get laid.” Dash raised a finger. “But I’m not doing it. Sorry, I’m not going to be the next Montgomery Prince.”
I burst out laughing and flipped him off as well. “You’d be the frog, not the prince. Everybody keeps calling me the Montgomery hanger-on, but I’m just trying to join the family the old-fashioned way. Marriage. I’ll sleep my way into the family rather than having them adopt me as an adult. It makes sense.”
They both rolled their eyes, and I drank my beer.
Because the joke was on me.
Aria Montgomery had already latched her claws into my heart, and there was no coming back from that scarring.
The problem was, she hadn’t even done it on purpose. She was just herself.
Fiery, sexy, sometimes insecure, and always doing things for others.
And definitely in love with someone else.
It wasn’t her fault that I loved her. But I was sure as hell going to blame her.
“I’m sure we can find one free to marry. If not, Mom and Dad will adopt you,” Lex explained .
“And if they don’t, my dads will,” Dash put in.
Lex beamed. “That’s all that matters.”
Thankfully we moved on to other subjects since the other two worked together. They owned Montgomery Construction, the offshoot of the original construction company the Montgomerys owned. It shouldn’t surprise me that their family worked so well together. Yes, they sometimes fought, but they were damn good at their jobs. One day soon they would build my dream home. I owned enough land to make that happen. Only a select few knew exactly how much.
Nobody else needed to know my business.
I looked at my phone again, and she still hadn’t texted.
Worry clawed at my gut, but I had a feeling she wasn’t going to text me anyway. Because the last time we had seen each other, I’d said such cruel things to her trying to protect my heart and hers , that I regretted them.
I needed to do the one thing that I hated.
Apologize.
“I’m going to head out. I have a lot of work to do.”
“You good to drive?” Lex asked.
“I’ve had two beers in three hours and four glasses of water. I’m fine. You guys okay?” I asked.
“We’re on the same beverage count as you,” Lex answered. “Have fun with your painting. Let us know if you need anything.”
“Like being a model,” Dash said.
I snorted and lifted my chin in goodbye. I didn’t bother texting or calling Aria before heading to her place. I needed time to figure out what I was going to say, and frankly just to see her.
I was addicted, and I knew I needed to stop whatever this madness was. Only I didn’t think there were any easy answers. I hated feeling like I wasn’t enough. Yet I knew I wasn’t. My family didn’t deserve whatever goodness Montgomerys gave out.
And one day everybody would realize that.
I parked in front of Aria’s house, only slightly annoyed when I realized all the lights were on.
It seemed she was home and hadn’t bothered to text.
Anger coursing through my veins, I stomped up the pathway and nearly barged in when I noticed the door was partly open. Raised voices echoed through the house, and I was already running inside before I thought better of it.
“You fucking bitch! You think you can do this to me? I’ll show you how strong you think you are.”
Aria’s back was to the wall, but instead of need and desire on her face like I saw the last time I’d had her pinned, there was only pure terror .
Her so-called best friend, the man the world thought she was in love with held her by her neck and used his other hand to punch her in the face.
Aria kicked out, screamed, and then I was moving—not caring if I killed the man who dared touch my woman.