Chapter 19
Fitz
Two Months Later
Four Months Pregnant
I’m not a city guy. I know this about myself, so it shouldn’t surprise me that I start feeling tense the moment the freeway traffic slows and a sea of brake lights reflects off my windshield.
Push through. It’ll be worth it.
I was there for Tessa’s last ultrasound via video chat, but I want to be there in person this time, especially when this appointment checks for chromosomal abnormalities. She’s nervous, which only adds to my own set of nerves.
So I focus on the traffic, counting how many out-of-state license plates I see—less than four—and how many Teslas are on the road—more than I can count.
Once I turn onto the coastal route, I lose my thoughts in the peaceful blue of the Pacific, endless and placid.
Maybe that’s why people live down here. I can see the appeal of staring at that water.
Kind of the way I feel when I look at Tessa’s pale-blue eyes—calm, centered.
Even if I’m only looking at them on a screen during one of our daily video chats, where I pepper her with pregnancy facts I’ve gleaned online, and she tells me to chill. But I think she secretly loves it.
When I pull into a parking spot behind the doctor’s office building, Tessa is there on a bench waiting for me. She loops her arm through mine and leads me through the back door of the building, talking in a run-on sentence that begins before I close the door to my truck.
“Hey, how was the drive? Hope you didn’t hit too much traffic. The doctor usually runs a few minutes late, but it shouldn’t be too bad because we’re the first appointment after lunch. Did you eat, because…?” She pulls a granola bar from her purse, and I stop walking, forcing her to slow her roll.
“Hey,” I say, turning her to look at me. “Are you okay?”
She nods, cheeks flushed. “Yeah. You?”
“I’m great, but you’re fluttering around like a spring hummingbird, so if you’re about to tell me we’re having twins, just come out with it.”
Her eyes go wide. “Oh. No, nothing like that.”
“You sure? You don’t seem very relaxed.”
“Well, yeah. I’m fine, but you’re about to get a big dose of Grandma Ann, who decided to drive up for a surprise. She’s in the waiting room upstairs.” She gives me an apologetic, grimacing smile.
“Aw, is that all? I can handle a grandparent.”
“You haven’t met Grandma Ann. She’s a smothering hugger. A smugger.”
A few minutes later, I am indeed smothered in a hug from Tessa’s Grandma Ann, but the woman is smaller than Tessa, so she’s hardly a threat, even with her attempt at a bear hug.
“So this is the rugged cowboy I’ve heard so much about.”
“She’s exaggerating. I merely mentioned that you exist.” Tessa’s pink cheeks betray her, and I tug her to my side, grateful for that blush.
“So let me get a look at you.” Grandma Ann holds me at arm’s length and takes me in from head to toe, her neck arching to look at my face. “Baby’s going to have nice-looking genes. Are you a reader?”
“I am, ma’am. I like the classics, a few mysteries in the mix,” I tell her as she nods her approval.
“Tessa’s always had a good head on her shoulders. She makes good choices, so I have no doubts about you. But do me a favor, would you? Keep our girl from carrying the weight of the world on those shoulders. Get her out to have some fun once in a while.”
“Deal. I’m available for fun,” I say, winking at Tessa.
“Okay, Gram, enough.” The blush turns scarlet, and I wonder if she’s recalling a particular type of fun we’ve had. Tessa goes over to talk to the receptionist and flicks a hand at me like she’s shooing me away, but I catch her grin.
A side door pops open, and we’re ushered into a patient room. It’s tight with the three of us in there, so Grandma Ann and I step into the hallway to give Tessa some privacy to change into a gown.
“I trust you’ll do what’s needed to take care of our Tessa.” Grandma Ann wags a finger at me.
“Of course,” I say. “Without question.”
She lowers her voice and leans in, even though there’s no one within earshot. “No, I mean take care of her. That girl looks out for everyone in the world but herself, and I have a soft spot for a man who’s keen on keeping an eye out just for her.”
It’s a missing piece of a puzzle I’ve been working to complete since I met Tessa.
I know she has four sisters, but she hasn’t said much about her family dynamic, other than to say she’s the family planner.
I now see that it goes much deeper, and despite all that I have going on in my own life, I do want to carry some of her burden.
I nod and lean down so Grandma Ann knows we’re on the same page. “I’ll make it my mission. You have my word.”
“Oh, honey. I can already see that you have, just from the fact that you drove two hours to an appointment. You’re a good egg, John Fitzgerald. I can tell.” She stands on tiptoe and kisses me on the cheek.
We follow the doctor into the exam room, and Tessa introduces us to Dr. Robbins. “My fan club,” she says, laughing. There’s a lightness in her voice that’s different from last night when she told me she was nervous about the chromosomal testing. I think she likes having us in her corner.
The doctor asks questions about her sleep and diet while slathering gel onto her belly and turning on the ultrasound machine. At least I think that’s what the contraption with the wand on the end is.
I don’t have time to ask because a moment later, a fuzzy image appears on a little screen and I hear a loud, rhythmic whooshing sound.
Tessa and Grandma Ann smile and nod, but I’m a little freaked out by the sound, which sounds like audio feedback and static.
I don’t recall sounds like this from the video chat we had at her last appointment. Maybe the machine is broken.
“There’s an arm. And there’s the head and the little belly.” As the wand moves over Tessa’s belly, I see the shapes of a tiny human flickering in and out of focus. It’s all suddenly very, very real.
“Beautiful, perfect little human,” Tessa says. I nod, unable to find words of agreement.
“What’s that sound?” I ask, finally.
“Your baby’s heartbeat. Steady and strong,” the doctor says. I freeze and look at Tessa, the magnitude of the moment sinking in.
Our baby’s heartbeat…
I reach for her hand, and she gives mine a squeeze. Grandma Ann smiles at me, affirming the promise I made, and I nod.
The doctor takes measurements of the baby and tells us the development looks right on track. “I’m going to take a small sample of cells for testing. You might feel a pinch and some pressure,” he says.
Tessa nods and reaches for my hand to squeeze. “Okay.”
Dr. Robbins works quickly and lets us know that we’ll have the results back in a day or so. “Everything looks good, though.”
I finally exhale and expect Tessa to drop my hand, but she doesn’t. Her large eyes find mine. I let Tessa’s hand fall and shove my hands into my pockets.
The doctor prints out a few ultrasound images for us and answers Grandma Ann’s questions about the amnio test and genetic markers.
As they chat, Tessa turns to me, her face laced with concern. “Every time I see these scans, my heart overflows. I feel so lucky. But also…a tiny bit overwhelmed.”
This woman likes a plan, and there’s probably nothing scarier than having her body taken over by another developing human. “I’ve got you, darlin’. We’re in this together.”
“Thank you.” The worry lines on her forehead fade, and she tries for a smile, which is worth everything.
“Do you have time for lunch? I heard there’s some good pizza in LA.” It’s a guess, but there has to be pizza here someplace.
She laughs. “You heard that, huh?”
I shrug. “I’ll take you anywhere you want. Grandma Ann too, of course.”
“She won’t come. I’m guessing she has plans with one of my sisters, but I’ll take you up on lunch. There’s a taco place near the beach that’s great.” She holds up her hands. “I know, I know. It’s no Maria’s tamales, but I promise, you’ll love them.”
I nod. Hard to turn down a plate of tacos with a beautiful woman.