3. THREE
THREE
Bastien
Tilly pushes the mashed potatoes toward me, and I help myself to my third serving. I forgot how good Jamie’s cooking is.
She turns to her daughter at the other side of the table. “When does your internship start, Vera?”
I cast a glance at Vera, who stuffs her last spoonful of ham and beans into her mouth and sits back in her seat with a satisfied sigh.
“Soon,” she says around her mouthful. I laugh to myself remembering the way she used to stuff so much lasagna into her mouth when she was eight that she could hardly chew it. She’s always been determined.
Tilly lets out a sigh. “Good to see you can ignore me just as well in person as you do over messages.”
“Mom! I’m not ignoring you, I just haven’t heard back from the ranger who is supposed to be my mentor. It’s Christmas. I probably won’t hear for another couple days.”
Jamie stands to take the plates, but Tilly stops him with a wave of her hand. “Let me.”
The conversation stops, and in the silence around the table we all try hard not to notice the way her hands shake as she gathers the plates and stacks them into a pile.
She drops the last one with a crash, and I jump to my feet.
“Surely that’s my job. You have to let me do the washing up to say thank you for having me. ”
Tilly gives me a tired smile. “It’s just a plate, but I won’t say no to some help, Bastien, if you’re offering. I’ll clean up out here.”
Riley leans back in his chair. “I won’t fight you or Mom for it.”
Tilly sighs. “You’d think I didn’t raise either of them right, wouldn’t you?”
Vera jumps to her feet too and helps me gather the plates. “Alright, message received.”
Riley is typing something on his phone. “Be there in a sec.”
Tilly gathers the pieces of broken crockery while Jamie fetches a trash bag. “Make it quick, kids. Pictionary starts in twenty minutes.”
Funny to hear myself referred to as a kid again at almost twenty-six, but if there’s anyone in the world who has the right, it’s Mr Ballard. He basically raised me.
We groan at the promise—or threat—of Pictionary, but secretly I can’t wait. Family game night at the Ballards felt like the ultimate VIP invite when I was a kid. It’ll be good to relive that memory. Maybe it will help Vera and me relax in each other’s company too.
I’m conscious of her behind me as we take the dishes to the kitchen and place them by the sink.
“Thanks, Bas. I don’t think Mom has let anyone help her without a fight in weeks. She’s always had a soft spot for you.”
“Aw, I’m glad to help.” I dump the dishes and start running the hot water when I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and turn.
Vera lifts off the oversized sweater, dropping it onto a hook on the wall, and I have to concentrate real hard on not letting my jaw drop.
Turns out that sweater was covering a figure that’s very different than I remember.
She’s no longer the scrawny kid who used to follow me and Riley around.
The woman standing in front of me is full and curved in places my hands itch to touch, and she’s strong.
When her t-shirt lifts, revealing a few inches of belly above the waistband of her leggings, I’m sure I catch sight of tight abs, and beneath the stretchy fabric her thighs are thick.
For half a second I imagine what they’d feel like wrapped around my ears, until I snap out of it and realize what a goddam inappropriate thought that is to be having about my best friend’s little sister.
Where did that come from?
Geez, you’d think she was the one turning me down four years ago the way my mind wants to slip into the groove of that train of thought.
She catches my eye and freezes, glancing down at herself. “What is it? Did I spill gravy on myself or something?”
I cough. “No, I um…” I’ve somehow forgotten every word in the English language. “I was just… Listen, Vera, I wanted to ask—shit!” Just in time I remember I left the faucet running and spin to switch off the faucet, narrowly stopping the water in the sink from spilling over onto the floor.
She nudges me aside. “Let me wash. You won’t have to get out the step ladder to reach the top cupboards.” She hands me the towel.
We’re standing so close I give into the temptation to lean in and catch a whiff of her scent just to reassure my bear that I’ve read this wrong. She’s not even thinking about me anymore.
What I get instead is a lungful of a perfume so strong I have to turn my face away with my eyes stinging.
Damn. I’m still choking back a cough as she puts the first few glasses into the water and starts scrubbing. The silence stretches on until I can’t stand it any longer.
“Have you been good?” I say, even though I’m pretty sure I asked her that already.
“Good. Great. You?”
I frown. Is it just my imagination, or did she answer a little too quickly?
“Can’t complain.” I mean I could, but I won’t.
She doesn’t want to hear about my failed love life.
I fumble and finally land on something safe to talk about.
“You must be looking forward to being an intern. I remember my internship. Felt like breathing after being cooped up too long at school.” I love that she’s studying to become a park ranger just like me.
Love that she loves the outdoors and nature and all the things I love too.
In my more ridiculous moments, I used to let myself imagine she’d picked that course so she could come back to Mosswood and work right beside me.
Silly thought, but one I’ve indulged in quite a few times.
Now she looks around, gifting me with a wide smile as she hands me a dripping glass which I scoop up with the tea towel. “Right? I can’t wait.”
I nod. “Where’d you get? Is it local?”
“Nah. Down south. Silver Hollow Park.”
“Beautiful.” Even though I can’t imagine working anywhere except Black Pines Park or living anywhere else except Mosswood, I can see the appeal. The rugged landscape. The open spaces.
“Yeah.”
The next silence doesn’t feel so tense. When Riley finally drags his ass in to help, we’re almost done. Vera shoves the wet cloth at him with a huff. “That had better have been a really important message.”
He gives us both a very serious look. “You have no idea how stressful it is having three girlfriends when none of them knows about the others. Especially at Christmas.”
Vera rolls her eyes. “Ugh. You are just as gross as always.”
Even I shake my head at my friend’s antics. I don’t think he’s really as cold hearted as he lets on, but he sure puts on a good act sometimes.
Riley shrugs. “Hey, calm down. It’ll be different when I find my fated mate, but until then, what’s the point?”
Vera stares at him for a moment in silence. Then she shakes her head and snatches her sweater back off the hook. “Because people without fated mates aren’t worth effort, is that it?”
When she storms out, Riley tries to laugh it off, but I can’t join in. “That was a bit heartless, man.” I’d like to go after her, but I also know sometimes she needs some space to cool off when Riley winds her up.
Riley sighs. “I don’t get it. I’d do anything not to be saddled with the responsibility of committing to someone for the rest of my goddam life. She doesn’t know how good she has it.”
I dry the last dish and stack it away, thinking about what he said.
I’m scared as hell of finding my fated mate too, but not for the same reason he is.
I’d love to find her. Someone to cherish.
Someone to build a home with. I want that so much sometimes it’s like a physical ache inside my belly.
I have nightmares about finding my fated mate, though, because whenever I try to picture her, she’s small and fragile, and any mate of mine can’t be either of those things.
What if I find her and we don’t fit? What if I hurt her?
I could never forgive myself.
So much pressure. I guess Riley’s right that Vera is lucky not to be faced with that, but I know she doesn’t see it that way. Not being a shifter means she’ll never even have the chance to find her fated mate. Non-shifters don’t have them.
I remember her confessing to me one night in the dark small space of my treehouse about how she couldn’t wait to shift for the first time so she could meet her person and start the rest of her happily ever after.
After it became obvious she would never shift, she stopped saying things like that, but somehow I doubt that feeling ever went away.
“You should go apologize,” I say to Riley.
He rolls his eyes. “Probably. Help me out? She’ll be less angry if you’re there.”
I hold up my hands. “Hey, you got yourself into this. You can get yourself out.”
“Thanks for nothing.” He heads out of the kitchen and I tidy up, giving him a moment to do the right thing. At least I hope that’s what he’ll do.