11. ELEVEN
ELEVEN
Vera
The more I move, trying to get myself free from my position on top of Bastien, the more my body reacts to his huge cock stuffed up deep inside me and the tighter it gets.
I choke down a moan as he rubs against a highly sensitive place inside me.
I don’t want him to feel like he needs to take pity on me any more than he already has.
My eyes sting at the thought of him making me his mate out of pity—out of obligation. I don’t want to be the compromise he makes because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.
“It should be impossible. All I know is if you keep moving around like that, you’ll never get free, Ver.” His cock throbs inside me as if to emphasise his point, still completely hard.
My eyes widen. I thought the worst of my heat was done, but at the suggestion that he could go again, my whole body softens and I want to melt into him. We’re completely stuck, though, so as much as I want to bounce on his cock, the most I can manage is a delicious roll of my hips.
Bas groans. “Please think about the mate thing again, Ver. You don’t have to decide now, but—”
That stops me. “I won’t be your mate, Bastien.”
His gaze locks onto mine, and I feel a strange tug in my center. It’s gone as quickly as it started, but it leaves me feeling some type of way.
Bastien sighs. “OK. I won’t pressure you. The offer stands if you change your mind.”
I wish I knew what to say to him to explain my reasons. I know he feels like he’s letting me down, letting himself down. If there was ever a guy with an overactive sense of honor, that guy is Bas.
We lay like that uncomfortably until my heart rises up into my throat and pressure builds inside my chest. The silence stretches on and on, and emotions that don’t go together are wrestling inside me.
A part of me is loving this, being pressed up against him, full of him, smelling like him.
I’ve wanted this for so long. I wish I could just enjoy it.
But another part of me feels horribly guilty. Now he’s feeling bad because I pressured him into helping me through my heat, and I know Bas. He’ll stew on this. This isn’t something we can just brush off.
A gush of moisture releases from me in a rush, and I gasp as I lift from him with a pop.
I wanted to be free, but now that I am, the combination of our juices smells at once so familiar and so desperately tempting that I lick my lips.
I bend closer, needing more of it—needing the taste.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m rubbing myself over him, coating both of us in the mixture of sticky slick and cum.
I can’t stop. My belly clenches, and my pussy feels horribly empty without him stuffed deep inside.
Bas lifts on one elbow to look down at me, and maybe on another day I’d be embarrassed. Right now, though, I’m acting on animal instinct. I lower my head and lick straight up his shaft, up and over the thick bulge at the base to the juicy tip which quivers in response.
He curses and falls back against the bedding, slinging an arm across his face.
“Do you want me to stop?” Despite my words, I return to licking him clean, craving the sweet, salty flavor on my tongue. “I can stop. I’ll stop.”
He sucks in a breath, letting it out on a gruff laugh. “No. I didn’t say that, but—ah, Vera, fuck! That feels so good; but you should rest. Won’t you be sore tomorrow?”
“Fuck tomorrow.” I take a firm grip on his shaft and suck the whole head of his cock into my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks and using the suction of my lips and tongue to draw more salty goodness straight from the source.
Bas bucks and the action thrusts more of him into my mouth until my eyes water. That doesn’t stop me. In fact, it only makes me more hungry for him. But he sits, guiding my head up with a gentle hand on my cheek. “Slow down, Ver.”
“Why? Because you think I can’t handle it?” I push his hand away and lower my head, taking him even deeper than before, to the point where I gag around the head, where tears stream from my eyes, and when I finally burst from him to suck in a long breath, a trail of saliva follows.
He stares at me wide eyed, not moving, not resisting. Not encouraging either. That’s not lost on me. I don’t want him to be passive. I can’t stand that. I want him to snap like he did before. To take me like me means it.
At least I can pretend to myself for a moment.
Most of all I don’t want to sit here any longer with this awful gnawing emptiness hollowing me out inside.
Twisting, I climb backward onto his lap, reaching behind me until I feel his hard shaft and line him up with my dripping pussy.
I’m leaking slick and cum. It trails in a warm mess down the insides of my thighs, and I don’t care.
I look back over my shoulder at him as I rub myself down and up, down and up along his hard shaft. “You think I can’t take you, but I can. I’ll take every inch. Let me prove it to you again.”
A huge hand closes around one thigh, trying to still me, but I’m too worked up again already.
I fuck my fingers into my pussy, giving him a show, moaning around the small invasion because what I want is him. What I need is the impossible fullness of his body stretching mine.
“See that, Bas? See all that cum? It’s all leaked out now. I’ll need another load to keep me full of you.”
Suddenly the hand on my thigh releases me and he surges up from underneath, pushing my face down against the bedding. His heat engulfs me, legs on either side of mine and his huge body caging me in.
When he pushes the tip of his cock inside me, it forces all the air from my lungs. At this angle he’s even bigger, and he thrusts right up against the back of my channel and makes me see stars.
“Fuck, you make me wild. You make my bear feral. You want more of my cum in you, Vera?”
I nod as much as I can with my cheek pressed into the bedding. “Yes!”
“You want me to give it to you raw like this again? Because I’m about to.”
“Yes please.”
The room spins, and my eyes cross as he goes deeper still.
Belatedly I realize his arm, which he’s using to hold up his weight beside me, has grown furry. His hands are tipped with claws.
He’s made a partial shift into his beast form.
I have a moment’s panic as he draws back and fucks into me, and I feel for a second like he might split me in half. My muscles scream. Everything burns. Sweat pricks the back of my neck and my upper lip.
I talked a big game, though, and I refuse to back down. So I close my eyes and focus on relaxing my pussy. I can take him. I will.
Then his tip rubs against that secret place within and I moan. The tension relaxes, and he grunts as I take him all again—every inch of his shifted form, every fat, throbbing, bulging vein.
He grunts. Withdraws and slams into me again.
This time I breathe through it. I open myself to him and feel only pleasure.
Liquid gushes between my thighs. I push back, wanting him to see that I’m strong, that I can be what he needs. Of course, I can’t be. Not the way it really counts; but my pride won’t let that stop me being the best fuck he’s ever going to have in his life.
At the back of my mind, where I function on instinct alone, there’s a very hungry animal barking, mine, mine, mine, over and over like some kind of possessive mantra, a drumbeat that pounds in time with my pulse in my temples as he pumps into me with growing speed.
I hold back my orgasm for as long as I can. After all, this could be the last time we do this together. I’m not ready for this night to end.
Bas pounds into me, his claws digging into my skin and adding another mark to my body, and that thought only makes me tighten around him.
“You want it, Vera? Take it all. I’m going to drown you in it. You’ll be so full of me there won’t be room for anyone else.”
When he finally cums with a roar, I cum too with his name on my lips. I bite my fist, but I’m sure he heard it. I know how sensitive shifter hearing is. I know his heated words are just the pheromones and he doesn’t mean them. They’re sweet in my ears though, even as it’s ending.
As his knot swells again and we’re locked together, he gathers me up and rolls us to our sides without mentioning it, and I’m grateful.
I’m also grateful he’s locked behind me and I’m facing away into the darkness so he can’t see the way my cheeks flame and I don’t have to worry about not being able to meet his eyes.
Despite my awkwardness, I must fall asleep like that because when I come to, he’s slipping from me and crawling from the makeshift nest. He hands me water and food, getting up to pull on his clothes and check the conditions outside.
When he returns, he stands outside the nest rather than crawling inside with me, and my heart drops.
“Get some sleep while you can, Ver. It’s still looking pretty grim out there. I’ll check again in the morning and we’ll make an assessment.”
I want to ask him to come back—to hold me—but I don’t dare in case he makes another offer and I accept in a moment of weakness.
It’s better this way.
I tell myself that as I drift into a restless dream of soft growls and a warm furry body, of bourbon-honeyed kisses and deep brown soulful eyes.