Chapter 9
Ace
“How is Rebel’s Honeys doing?” Doc asks Anchor as I slouch in my chair to stop myself from fidgeting.
My nerves are shot to fucking shit, my frustrations are higher than they’ve ever been before and I know I’m ready to break, I can fucking feel it.
It doesn’t matter how much I try to focus on other shit, how I try to keep up to date with all the paperwork for the club's businesses and employees, nothing I do is keeping my frustrations down, if anything, they’re getting worse, and normally, I’d say fine, whatever, I’ll fuck them outta me, but fuck… My dick won’t get hard for anyone.
I think it’s broken, I really fucking do. I think of Pidge, it twitches, I see her in her uniform at the diner, it stiffens, yet, if I think of Harriet, AJ, fuck, even Abby, it shrivels up inside me.
I’ve even tried to go to Rebel’s Honeys, the strip club named after my mother, because Dad wanted everyone to know he was taken, even though she didn’t deserve it, and absolutely nothing.
Tricks, a new dancer, offered to take me to the back room where the dancers can give a little bit more to customers willing to spend extra. She offered to blow my fucking mind, and my body revolted, it fucking revolted!
I flinched back as if she’d hit me.
I’m broken, I have to be, I mean fuck, what else could it be?
“I bet you, a hundred bucks that this time next year, you’ll be happily married with a baby on the way, or fuck, even have a baby already.”
The memory of that statement still sits like a stone in my chest as Trigger’s words from a few months ago hit me hard after I swore I’d never settle down, never fall in love, or have a family, and my stomach churns.
“Count me in on that bet.”
My big brother adding to it coming back to me, making it fucking hard to breathe as everything hits me fucking hard with realization.
No way, absolutely not, not happening!
I quickly fist my hands under the table, biting down on my lip ring, fighting to keep my breathing steady before the brothers notice the black cloud rolling in over me.
I knew what I was beginning to feel for Pidge, the urges I have towards her, and I’m ignoring them, but like fuck is my dick allowed to fucking go along with them when I don’t plan on claiming her!
What is actually going on?
“Revenue is good, more customers keep coming in, and the back room is booming,” Anchor admits cutting through my potential break down, and I swear to fuck, I can feel my body tremble.
Pidge’s green eyes hit me hard in the chest, the blue ring making them suck you in as I picture her before me, and try to stop myself from trashing this fucking room.
“Dirty?” Doc continues, and my brother replies, “Business is good and steady.”
“And how is Hol doing?” Stone asks with concern and I look at my brother who winces before he admits, “Still struggling. She went to the diner on her own with the kids while I worked on Dad's bike, but she could only last an hour before Ace had to follow her back.”
I swallow hard and nod to his words.
Holly went from snapping at me for my treatment of Pidge to going into a panic attack when more people showed up at the diner.
She can handle being at the school, but that’s mainly because the receptionist, what’s her face, takes the kids outside to their parents, but that is about it at the moment, and even then, she speaks to Dirty several times throughout the day.
She knows it isn’t healthy but Dirty doesn’t care, he’ll do anything to ensure she feels safe and don’t get me started on Lyra the poor babe.
Dirty is her crutch, he’s the dad she never had and even now, she still screams during the night for him.
Just like Hol, she’s also seeing a therapist to help with her trauma.
“We have a run in two weeks, do you think you can do it?” Anchor asks, “Do you think Hol will be alright without you?”
I wince as Dirty looks down and taps his finger on the table. I can see his mind swirling. He wants to be there for the brothers, but his woman needs him, his kids need him and he’s torn.
“I’ll do it,” I instantly say, causing him to look at me with gratitude as he physically relaxes in his seat, and I give him a small smile.
“You sure, Ace, you’ve already done three?” Tank asks making me look his way, concern etching off him, and I nod.
“Yeah, I’m sure, I won’t have Hol struggle when she doesn’t need to, especially Lyra when I know she’s still having nightmares, I just uh,” I look at Dirty, and I say, “I need you to keep an eye on the diner because Dad is refusing to do shit and keeps getting the brothers to side with him until I return back on to club grounds. I uh, I have that new waitress who wrecked my bike, and you know how AJ can get.”
He nods, “Yeah, I can do that, thank you, brother.” I give him a nod at his gratitude as he asks, “How is the diner doing since you had little Molly as a waitress?”
“Wait, as in little Molly as in Wright? Sean Wright’s daughter?” Trigger asks suddenly as he looks between me and Dirty.
I try to hold in my sudden anger at his interest, and I clear my throat before stating, “Yeah, she knocked over my bike a few weeks ago and is paying off the price that it cost to have it fixed.”
Doc frowns, “Can’t you just let her off? Sean was good to us growing up, brother.”
I could, I know I could, but I just fuck, I can’t.
“No, she’s proud,” I lie through my fucking teeth, and Doc nods before I continue, “And to answer Dirty’s question, the customers love her, revenue has increased by three percent.”
The brothers bang on the table while I try not to make eye contact with my brother, who's looking at me with a frown, and my anger gets higher yet again, my frustration swirling in the pit of my stomach.
What the fuck am I doing?
Why am I not shoving her out of the door and just letting her off?
Why in the fuck am I not getting her away from me?
I zone out as the church continues, while my mind spins, and I try my hardest not to tremble as my anger towards Pidge grows.
This is her fault, how I’m feeling, all her fucking fault.
If she hadn’t wrecked my bike because she wanted my patch, if she hadn’t messed with things at the diner to get my attention, I wouldn’t be feeling this way, my body wouldn’t be acting up!
I clench my jaw, and Dirty nudges me, sensing my frustrations, but I ignore him and focus on the roaring lion in the middle of the table while my anger festers. There is only one person who deserves to have it unleased on them and that is Pidge!
The sooner she pays off her debt, doing all the fucking dirty jobs I can think of, the sooner she can get the fuck outta my life!
“Why not just let me make up a payment plan?”
The question hits me hard and I clench my jaw.
Why can’t I just set up a payment plan?
Why in the fuck do I want to punish her and in turn myself having to see her every fucking day?
“Ace?” Doc says suddenly, and I look his way as he tilts his head, seeing the difference in me, the anger I’m directing towards Pidge for coming into my life, towards my fucking father for not looking after the diner while I helped his other son forcing me to meet her, and towards my mother for being a lying whore and ensuring I wouldn’t trust another fucking person.
“Bang the gavel, Doc,” I say lowly needing out of this fucking room.
“Brother, you’ve been angry these past few weeks, angrier than normal, and even though you’ve moved off club property, we can sense it, talk to us,” Stone says quietly, but I just shake my head.
I’m not talking about this with them because I know exactly what they’d fucking say where Pidge is concerned and will try and get involved.
“I’ve got to get to the diner, get the shifts sorted, the books done, before the run in a few weeks, and preferably sack Harriet beforehand. Bang the gavel, Doc,” I grunt, my impatience clear but I won’t walk out, I won’t disrespect him.
He nods, concern flickering in his eyes, then bangs the gavel and I stand and without another word to anyone else, storm out of church.
All my anger is directed at Pidge for coming into my life, for bringing these feelings I don’t want, for breaking my damn dick!
Anger that I can’t just accept the payment plan she’s offered.
I snatch my phone from the box Trent is holding who raises a brow at me to try and cover up his jump, not expecting me to storm out of the door but I ignore him and storm through the common room, ignoring all the brothers and the women and definitely not making eye contact with Ashley who shockingly is here.
I can see het watching me with a frown out of the corner of my eye while she pats her boy’s bottom who is over her shoulder.
She opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something, and a cold wave of panic hits me and before she can pull me in and demand to know what is going on, or worse, demand her old man to drag me over to her because that fucker will crawl on pins and needles if she asks him to, as he should, I pick up my pace.
Fuck, I’m glad Caleb and Lyra are in school because everyone knows I can’t say no to them and they would be doing her bidding if they were here.
“Ace?” Dad calls, but I ignore him, my focus on the front door getting closer, knowing Trigger will most likely be out in a moment, and Dad sighs, “Honey, just let him be,” confusing me before a body stands before me, making me halt, and I narrow my eyes at my stubborn mother, glaring at me.
Fuck’s sake.
“We need to talk,” she says firmly, and I scoff, “I don’t think so,” and I move around her as Pidge’s eyes, her smile with a little dimple on her right cheek, hit me square in the chest, and I know I need to get out of here, preferably before I unload on my mother.
But unfortunately for me, my mother is stubborn.
She steps in front of me again and snaps, “I am your mother, and I am now fed up with this treatment from you. Your dad forgave me thirty years ago, we’ve moved on, so get over it, get your shit, and move back home and grow the hell up!”