Chapter 28
Shannon
What the hell just happened?
I’m still shuddering a little as I come down from the most intense orgasm of my life. I can’t move, my muscles are so weak, but Ace is holding me, his warm, sweaty body against mine. That was quick, but so intense I can’t catch my breath.
“I love watching you come,” he whispers against my ear, nuzzling my neck.
“I love you making me come,” I whisper back.
“I like that too.” He slowly pulls out, and I whimper at the emptiness.
“Easy, I’m right here.” He lifts me in his arms and carries me to the bedroom. He didn’t make the bed this morning, so we slide between the messy bedding, our bodies still intertwined.
“Don’t leave me,” I whisper.
“I’m not.”
“Will you come back to Cologne with me?” I murmur sleepily.
“For Christmas?” he asks in confusion.
“No, after Christmas.”
“Anywhere you want.”
“I like that.” I nestle deeper into his arms, breathing him in.
I must have dozed off because the next time I open my eyes it’s dark in the bedroom and Ace is asleep too. Neither of us have moved, which is odd for us, but our need for each other is almost tangible.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whisper, knowing he’ll hear me even in his sleep.
He smiles, though he doesn’t open his eyes, releasing me from his firm grip.
I stumble into the bathroom and clean up, taking a minute to wash my face because my makeup smudged.
When I walk back into the bedroom, he’s waiting for me and holds out his arms. I crawl into them, resting against him once again.
It seems to be my favorite place lately and it’s a good thing he’s as content to hold me as I am to be in his arms.
“I have a question,” he says as we got comfortable.
“Okay.”
“You’ve mentioned more than once how much you want kids. How long were you married?”
“Legally, almost five years. Living together, a little less than four.”
“So how come you never got pregnant if that was your biggest motivation for marrying him?”
I sigh. “Douglas was a real piece of work. He had no desire for kids and had a vasectomy before we even met. He didn’t tell me that, of course, so he let me go three years thinking something was wrong with me.”
“Are you kidding me?” He lifts my chin and presses a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose. “Can I punch him in the nose? Just once?”
I chuckle. “If you want. No skin off my teeth.”
“Asshole.” He holds me tighter. “I’ve never had a vasectomy,” he says after a moment.
I smile. “Good to know.”
“You, uh, feel strongly about your IUD?”
I gaze up at him curiously. “We’ve been together two weeks and you’re ready to make babies?”
“It’s come up enough times, just in general conversation, for me to know it’s important to you, and if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”
I swallow hard, tears stinging my eyelids. I’ve been crying a lot lately, but it’s good to purge all these feelings because Ace makes me believe everything is going to be okay.
“Would you do me a favor?” I ask quietly.
“Of course.”
“Would you get my purse from the living room?”
“Sure.” He untangles my arms and pads into the living room, giving me a glimpse of his gloriously hard and sexy backside.
Damn, I love looking at his body.
He comes back with my bag and hands it to me as he gets back into bed, settling with his arms around me and some pillows propped behind us.
I dig my father’s letter out and hold it up.
“Your father’s letter,” he said softly.
I nod.
“We’re supposed to read it together.”
I meet his eyes. “You think now?”
“Have you forgiven your mom?”
“We’re going to go back to therapy, via Skype, with the counselor we used before. I’m on the road to forgiving her because she’s the only mom I have and Dad would be so upset if I cut her out of my life. She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s my mom. You know?”
“I get that.” He kisses me.
My hands shake a little as I pull the letter out of the envelope. “I don’t know what this says, but Mom said even if I never spoke to her again, to make sure we read this together. And that’s definitely my dad’s handwriting on the front.”
“Then we should read it,” he says gently.
“Okay.” I unfold two sheets of paper with handwriting on them. I clear my throat and hold it out in front of me as I start to read aloud:
My darling Shannon and Ace,
If you’re reading this, my dying wish has come true and that makes me happier than you’ll ever know. Please don’t be angry with your mother. I asked her to do it, to make this happen between you because I ran out of time.
Shannon, I had no idea that night, when I re-introduced you and Ace at the charity dinner, that it would make such a lasting impression on you.
But watching you struggle to find a man like Ace, who was worthy of you, broke my heart.
I knew your husband was going to hurt you, but you wanted children and your mother made me believe that if we just left the two of you to work things out, it would happen.
For that, I apologize. I love your mother, but I shouldn’t have listened to her. Not then.
Ace, I knew who and what you were, so I couldn’t reach out, but I hoped you’d come home ready to settle down.
I was afraid you might not, though, and now that I’m near the end, I’ve told Samantha not to wait too long, that you and Shannon need each other.
I’ve followed your career, and I saw the writing on the wall, your frustration as agency politics started to interfere with the missions, the job.
I hope, now that you and Shannon have found each other again, that you’re going to do the right thing, both for you and for her.
I want grandchildren, and even though I won’t be there to see them grow up, I’ll be watching.
Shannon, you were the light of my life, and I wish I’d been around more when you were growing up.
I loved serving my country, but the sacrifice was time with you, which, as we now know, was far too short.
You’re a smart, loving woman who’s much stronger than you let on.
It took guts to come to me about Douglas’s vasectomy and to walk away without looking back.
He was the wrong man, but Ace is the right one, so fight for him.
Don’t let him walk away; he needs you just as much as you need him, and you two have known that almost from the beginning.
Sometimes, you just know. I knew the minute I laid eyes on Samantha she was the one for me, and I think the two of you knew that about each other as well.
Together, I hope you’ll do all the things I didn’t get to do.
My service, my sacrifices, my country took too much.
Learn from my mistakes and live your lives to the fullest. Together.
You can serve in other ways, Ace, and Shannon, put yourself first sometimes.
Demand his attention, because men like us sometimes need to be put in our place.
Shannon, you and your mother were never close, but she promised me before I died that she would do everything in her power to change that.
If she did, and you two built a relationship after I passed, please don’t hold this against her.
I made her promise she wouldn’t rest until you two were somehow together.
I gave her some ideas, but I know she can go overboard sometimes.
Please don’t let my machinations from beyond the grave impact whatever ground you’ve gained—she needs you more than you know, my sweet girl.
Ace, take care of both my girls. Sam is a little prickly and opinionated, but she loves Shannon and she’ll love you too. Give her a few grandbabies and everything will be right in her world. I promise.
Well, it’s late and Sam says it’s time for my meds, so I’m going to finish this, seal the envelope and give it to her to put away until the time is right.
I love you, my lovely Shannon, and you were like a son to me, Ace. I’m getting a lot of pleasure thinking about the two of you together.
All my love,
Dad (Wayne)
I’m crying by the time I finish, my eyes blurred by my tears as I fold it and put it back in the envelope.
“I want to be mad at him,” Ace says gruffly, wiping my tears, “but I can’t because if he and your mom hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have you now.”
“I said some mean things to my mother,” I sniffle. “I have to apologize.”
“We should go see her.”
“She’s here in D.C. We flew in together.”
“Are we spending Christmas with her?”
“I’m not sure. I was wondering if you wanted to go see your parents?”
“We’re here and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I think we owe it to your mom—and your dad, in a way—to spend it with her. If you want, though, after Christmas, we could fly to L.A. and I could introduce you to my family.”
“And Chris and Aubrey are close by too.”
He grins at me. “You and Aubrey going shopping?”
“I haven’t talked to her yet, but I’m sure we will.”
“Works for me.” He kisses me again, his tongue toying with mine. “Want to play a game?”
I chuckle. “Do you play it naked?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Sure.”
“Every time I make you come, I get to read an entry in your diary.”
“Diary is locked up tight in a new spot back in Cologne.”
“A new spot?” He arches a brow at me.
“My boyfriend is a freakin’ spy. I can’t hide anything from him.”
He laughs. “That’s okay. I can keep track of how many pages you owe me until I find it.”
“I didn’t agree to this game yet.” I’m laughing too.
“I can make you come using just my tongue, just my fingers, and just my cock… That’s three times right there. You sure you don’t want to play?”
“What do I get every time I make you come?”
“What do you want?”
“Do I have to decide now?”
“Nope.”
“Then me first.” I dip my head beneath the sheets.