Chapter 5 #2
Pushing Ruslan away, I breathe in deep until the cool air has invaded the very depths of my lungs.
My attention wanders while trying to calm the rolling nausea in my stomach and as I glance up, something catches my eye.
The curved bricks above me, coupled with a familiar antenna, pull at something in my mind, and I stare up until a name forms in my mind.
My eyes meet Ruslan’s, who’s watching me with an impassive expression. “Are we… in the Empire State Building?”
Ruslan glances up briefly and nods. “Yes.”
“I… what?”
His eyes dart back down to mine. “What?”
“I don't… understand. There’s a hospital inside the Empire State Building?”
“No. That’s just our medical wing.”
Medical wing?
I must be dreaming.
“People don’t live here.”
“Yes, they do. Well, we do. Everyone else below us just works here, but we live here.”
“In the Empire State Building?”
“Yes.”
“Where you have a medical wing?”
“Yes. What are you not getting?”
My eyes narrow and I gaze back at the city unfurling below me like a rippling ocean. “I don’t understand what’s happening. Why did you even bring me out here?”
“You look like you needed some air.”
“What if I throw myself off?” The railing around the balcony is waist height at best.
“On that ankle?” Ruslan scoffs slightly. “Go for it.”
“I had no idea people could live here. My dad would—” My throat closes. In those brief minutes when pain and sickness took over, I forgot. I forgot about the plane crash, the cops, and my parents.
My lower lip trembles and the cold around me suddenly becomes biting. “What sort of game is this?” I ask weakly as tears warm my eyes. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“This isn’t a game,” Ruslan replies. “And only you can tell me what you did to deserve this.”
“I… you drugged me and brought me here. Why?”
Ruslan’s face twitches like he’s debating on what he wants to tell me. After a moment of silence, he turns and leans back against the railing, watching me with his thick arms crossed over his chest.
“It’s safer for you here than anywhere else.”
“Why?” I ask hoarsely.
“Because people want you dead.”
“Why?”
“They think you crashed that plane.”
“I… why?” The tears well thick and fast, but they escape down my cheeks without a sob. “I haven’t d-done anything wrong my whole life.”
“Are you telling me the truth?”
I nod. “Why would I lie?”
Ruslan shrugs. “I drugged and kidnapped you. You have every reason to lie.”
“I…” My eyelids grow heavy and that black hole of grief in my chest spreads down to my guts. “Is it true? About… a-about my parents?”
Ruslan nods.
“My dad is dead?”
“Yes.”
My heart breaks. “My mom?”
“She’s alive. She’s in a coma in the same hospital where you were.”
“Oh, my God…” I lift one cold hand to my mouth and find my cheeks to be blazing hot.
“This is a nightmare. I don’t understand.
I haven’t d-done anything, I swear. Are you…
am I still under arrest?” It’s unclear how much information Ruslan will give me or even if he’s telling the truth, but throwing myself off the balcony is looking better and better.
“I’m not a cop, remember?” Ruslan replies. “Maybe you really don’t know and maybe you’re pretending. All I know is that right now, this is where you need to stay until you’re properly on the mend. Then you will tell me the truth and I will act accordingly.”
“What… What does that even mean? You admit to kidnapping me but you’re not a cop… What if I call the cops?”
Ruslan’s blank face finally shows a hint of emotion. His brows twitch together and his lips press into a thin line. “They won’t listen to you.”
“What?”
“I meant what I said. You’re staying here until you are healthy and you can give me a clear account about what happened on that plane and your relationship to those drugs.
And if you lie to me?” Ruslan finally steps forward, but even as he closes the distance, he oddly seems far away.
“Then a broken ankle will be the least of your worries.”
My heart pounds sluggishly and a strange heat seeps down from the top of my head. I can barely think through the fog that’s rolling through my mind. Ruslan isn’t a cop, but he made those other cops leave and he’s making the same threats. Something about those drugs. And my dad… it can’t be true.
Is he really dead?
I must have died on that plane. There’s no way this is my reality.
“Ivy?” Ruslan’s voice is distant despite how cramped this small balcony is.
I look up at him through exhausted tears. “I’m j-just cabin crew. I didn’t do anything. I don’t know anything. I’m just…”
The world spins fast and faster and suddenly, I’m falling but instead of hitting the ground, I’m floating as Ruslan’s arms appear around me and he scoops me right up. My vision blurs like someone’s placed a clear film across my face, and my throat scratches with every breath.
“You have a fever,” Ruslan says, his voice distant. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“What do you care?” I murmur tiredly.
The evening sky turns into a cream ceiling with flashing lights, then suddenly, I’m back in that hospital room as Ruslan lays me down on the bed. Something cool presses against my forehead, something pricks my arm, but it just joins the noise of pain, and then Ruslan’s face is floating over me.
“Don’t,” I whisper. “Don’t let me wake up again.”
“You’re going to be okay, Ivy. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I’m not okay…” The black hole inside me expands, spreading through me like a virus and connecting all my points of pain into one overwhelming ache.
If this is living, I don’t want it.
If this is surviving, then send it back.
I should have died on that plane. Then I wouldn’t be heartbroken.
I wish I’d died.
“Deep breaths.” Ruslan’s still over me and through the hot fog, his touch suddenly registers in my cheek.
I force myself to look at him as darkness creeps across my vision. “Let me die,” I beg.
It sweeps me under, but not before I hear one final thing. Ruslan’s voice, oddly determined for a man who doesn’t care.
“Not on my watch.”