Chapter 31 #2
My sweet girl had to die. She just . . . had to die.
The string’s tension was tight as I searched the man in front of me for anything that could save him. His big brown eyes begged me to spare him, his screams desperate as he pleaded behind the silver tape.
No. No, I couldn’t.
I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t kill him. I couldn’t possibly become the one thing I feared.
A monster.
In front of me, Simon disappeared, and brown eyes peeked up at me through messy curls.
“I—” I growled an animalist snarl, angered with my inner weakness for someone as meaningless as her. “I am a star!”
I exhaled and pretended those brown eyes were beautiful, sparkly honey, infused with specks of gold and a billion different freckles.
“Quincy?” I heard her voice distantly in my head. It echoed through the forest until everything disappeared.
It was just me and my girl.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Her eyes smiled at me. “It’s okay.”
My fingers straightened, and the wire between my finger pads darted away. The arrow embedded in Simon’s skull. I lowered my bow and felt my eyes water under the pressure of the oppressive smoke. I slipped forward and bit the inside of my cheek as the hot coals dug into each step.
Walking on hot coals required precision. Some said the glow of the coals in the dark made them look hotter than they truly were. Others ran across on their toes and sobbed at the burning of their skin afterward.
I wouldn’t show them I was weak. I wouldn’t allow them to take my child and my pride.
Each step was purposeful, using the surface area of my already damaged skin to take the path inch by inch.
I could see the dense line of salt at least twenty feet away, its stark white a contrast to the dark earth.
I increased my pace to reach it sooner, eager to get this all over with so I could truly absorb what I’d done.
Monster.
I was a monster.
I was the worst of my kind. A human who killed humans. A sinister beast.
When I reached it, I hissed in pain as the salt buried into my wounds. I stepped off at the state line and leaned forward with a painful growl. I must’ve sounded like a rabid animal. Anyone who heard me would think so.
Fuck, it hurt. My feet burned, the pain deep within my bones, shooting up my legs and into my chest. I ended it quickly by leaning the rest of the way and ripping the arrow out of Simon’s head.
Blood flew back over me, his puncture wound gurgling as blood oozed out of him, spraying me lightly before settling down into a runny mess. His brown eyes weren’t as lively now, draining of all evidence of life quickly.
From this close, it was hard to ignore how his dark eyes looked nothing like my sweet-faced Yankee. Mustang had eyes that kept me alert, that made my insides knot and my heart race.
The blood on the arrow dripped over my pale skin. I was exposed, unclothed to all except for a tucked, makeshift crop top and my jeans. Most of my tattoos were exposed so everyone knew my journey to this point. It was Grandfather’s request before we left.
“You have no mother. No father. No daughter. No lover. No family.” I heard my grandfather approach me from behind. “We are your family. You will protect your family, and we will protect you. What is your name?”
Tears welled in my eyes as the words left my lips.
“I am Eleanor Harrekson.”
I didn’t feel like her. Was I really who they said I was? Was I this bloodthirsty being they built from scratch?
“That’s correct.” My grandfather wrapped his hands over mine and raised the arrow higher. “You are one with us, Eleanor. One with the family!”
My arm shook as the men and woman around us howled at an alarming volume. We were animals, troublesome animals who closed in on the body of a man I didn’t know.
Simon laid there in the leaves with his eyes wide open and tape around his mouth. His wound oozed blood as the life drifted out of his once peachy skin. Hands touched his face where red blood streamed. Then, they turned on me.
I fought the urge to sob as the disgusting hands rubbed against every inch of my visible skin. Rough hands forced the blood of my kill into the cracks of my skin, mixing with my grandfather’s pure Harrekson blood.
My knees felt weak as I lowered the arrow and let it fall to the bloody salt at my side. I wobbled on my uneasy legs and whimpered as my grandfather grabbed my face and pressed his lips to my forehead.
“Welcome to the family, my perfect star.” He smiled sinisterly. “You will always win. Your mind is much stronger than these emotions. You will prevail. You will become more than the demons of your mind. Da?”
“Da, Dedushka,” I sniffled.
“Ya stanu pistoletom I nozhom, kotoryye napravlyali menya, nyanchili menya, lyubili menya.” He used his thumbs to swipe my eyes clean of blood as he spoke louder. “Ya budu zashchishchat’ svoye bratstvo lyuboy tsenoy. Moikh brat’yev. Moikh sester. Moyego zashchitnika.”
“I will become the gun and knife that guided me, nursed me, loved me,” I repeated in English. My voice crackled like the fire, and the blood all over my face was slammed with quick, rolling tears. “I will protect my family at all costs. My brothers. My sisters. My upholder. My lover.”
“Be a good girl and take what you want, Eleanor. I will support you and your rise to power. Make me proud.” My grandfather smeared blood over my lips. “What do you want most? What do you desire?”
“I want my daughter back.”
“And I will help you. Make me proud.” He stepped back and grabbed my jacket, holding it above my head in the thick smoke. “Eleanor Harrekson.”
“Eleanor Harrekson!” a chaotic chorus of shouting broke through the smoke as I tilted my head back and stared at the moon above me.
I didn’t want this. I was born to do better than this.
Yet, as I looked into the dull eyes of the man I killed, my monstrous reflection with the fire in the background made those annoying little butterflies appear.
I licked my lips and tasted the blood that stained my pale skin.
I’d always loved this color—blood red. And you know what else was always red?
Her.
I was mistaken. As I look around me, that became clear. It wasn’t the killing that bothered me. It was the way we looked at each other with such love and pride and still had the audacity to kill and corrupt each other when it was to our benefit. This was my blood, my genes, my future.
Perhaps I had always been a psychopath.
A beast