Chapter 51
“MEET ME AT OUR SPOT” – LIVE BY THE ANXIETY, WILLOW, AND TYLER COLE
Oscar and Maxim did a number on me. My face was a bit swollen, my lip busted. Most of my bruises and soreness came from underneath my clothes.
The first thing that filled my mind after leaving the scene was Quinntessa. For all I knew, they’d do something stupid and go after her just to spite me. They were insecure, small-dicked men who believed the world revolved around their preferences. Everything offended them.
I took the drive down to Cross Key Grove once my head stopped spinning. It wasn’t too late, but it was dark enough that I relied mostly on my headlights and the streetlights to guide my way.
I wanted to make sure Quinntessa’s father came home tonight.
She should feel safe in her home. Even if those idiot goons didn’t pay her a visit, I was prepared to sit downstairs and watch the door until the sun came up if needed.
If she allowed me to come inside, I’d sit on her bed and listen to music with her until she fell asleep.
Either way, I was prepared to do what needed to be done.
It was the fear that climbed inside me at seeing her running as I came over the tracks. My first thought was Oscar and Maxim. Those damn Vincent boys would die for putting a hand on her, but they got lucky.
When my bike tumbled over the train tracks, Quinntessa’s teary eyes were being chased by a red-faced cop. I turned around quickly and yanked her up on to my seat.
I knew it was technically kidnapping, but she looked terrified. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her little Crocs were moving at top speed.
Quinntessa needed an athletic branding deal with Crocs because she really proved how their four-wheel-drive sports mode worked.
I drove us back out to Barkin’ Babe to escape her father. It was the first place I could think of where our families couldn’t interrupt. I thought maybe it would make her feel better if I snuck her in to see Scrabble.
Everything from there felt like a blur. One minute, we were arguing about what trouble I’d gotten in to look so beat up, and the next, we were kissing.
She had kissed me.
Twice!
I wished I could say I enjoyed every second of it. How could someone enjoy finally getting what they want when a tsunami threatened to crash on all their happiness? Any minute now, I would lose it all.
The only place I knew to go where we could escape everyone was the woods.
There was this area not far from the training facility that had open treetops, the stars looking closer than anywhere else in Indiana.
For now, I’d take a moment alone in the deep, dark woods, where I could kiss her as much as I wanted.
Quinntessa was sinful in the moonlight. I’d said it once, and I’d say it a thousand times: I would never stop being trampled by reality when looking into those honeycomb eyes.
Each star fell from the sky to absorb into her skin, pretending to be freckles when really, she had constellations woven across her beautiful face. I wanted to kiss every millimeter of her body, starting with those freckles.
“Do you miss your mother?” I asked.
We’d been talking quietly back and forth, for Satan only knew how long. It was refreshing. It had been a while since we could talk due to our busy schedules.
Quinntessa nodded, her eyes remaining on my necklace as she played with my cross.
“Yeah.” I hated seeing the pain in her eyes. “Sometimes I don’t, though. Does that make me a bad person?”
“It makes you a person. A human.” I caressed her face and kissed the side of her nose. Our faces were so close when we stopped kissing, all we had to do was lean in to start up again, a perfect, endless harmony. “I’m sorry she didn’t treat you the best. You deserved more.”
“You’re one to talk.” Quinntessa sighed and met my eyes. “You don’t deserve to have the life you do. You’re worth gold.”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged lightly and rubbed her hip. “I’m kind of liking my life right now. You’re worth it all, Sally.”
When she blushed in this lighting, it looked angelic.
Her face turned a soft pinkish blue, the silver light glorifying her tawny skin and making her look a thousand times more beautiful.
I wished I could take a picture of her now and put it on my wall to stare at instead of working on homework or sleeping when I should.
Her lips brushed mine as we kissed again. Her lipstick tasted like a mix of fruity blast and root beer. I thought I remembered Olivia saying she congratulated Quinntessa with a root beer Lip Smackers tube for her football accomplishments.
I turned my head when we separated and peppered soft kisses along her jaw. She giggled and tucked her face into my neck, her hand tangling in my shirt.
“God, you’re amazing,” I groaned, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer. Her breath sent chills down my spine as I pressed her into me. “Is this okay?”
“Shut up.” Quinntessa’s amused smile returned to my view as she took my face into her hands.
Her thumb brushed my busted lip and the bruises forming on my face. She gently kissed my skin, scooting through the leaves impossibly closer.
“Can you tell me what happened now?” she asked.
“I think you’ll be disappointed in me if I do,” I confessed, my heart sinking.
Quinntessa sighed. “Are you in a fight club or something?” She paused, her brows screwing adorably. “Wait. Are you allowed to tell me about fight club?”
I pecked her lips and smirked playfully. “Nope!” I chuckled. “So you’ll never know if I’m actually in one or not.”
“Bummer. I wanted to see you get your ass handed to you,” Quinntessa teased, her concerned eyes still examining my battered skin.
I reached out and took her chin in my fingers. Her eyes widened in confusion before I tugged her face close enough to hover in front of my lips.
“The only ass I want handed to me is yours, Sal,” I whispered, the hand on her back drifting a little lower. I stopped before her belt line and caressed the small of her back as she rolled her eyes bashfully.
Her face was deep red now. I grinned at the sight and pulled on her chin to taste her lips. She resisted slightly, giving me a hard time as she usually did before tangling her fingers in my hair.
This kiss was deeper than the last. I pushed against her, and Quinntessa responded in the best way she knew how. It was obvious Miss Sweet Face hadn’t kissed many people before me. There was an underlining timidness, and sometimes, our noses knocked together, but I found it adorable.
I liked that. I wanted that experience where we didn’t know how to kiss the other, but we want to so badly, we sacrificed it all. It was the joy of knocking heads together, tripping as we eventually tugged off extra layers, teeth knocking, rings trapped in hair, all because we wanted to be close.
Quinntessa barely protested when I pushed up to lay her back on the ground. She focused on her fingers in my hair, our legs tangled together as a sweet kiss turned breathless.
I tugged her shirt up and groaned at the feeling of her soft, untouched skin. I wanted to feel her warmth firsthand. My fingers dragged down her sides, stamping her into my memory.
She panted at my touch. Her eyes fluttered closed as I leaned down to kiss her bare stomach. I left open mouthed kisses on her adorable tummy and continued lower. My fingers drifted down her thighs and tugged lightly on her jeans.
Quinntessa tensed as I kissed near her waistband. Before I had the chance to check on her, she tugged at my shirt, pulling me back to her lips.
I pressed my thigh between her legs and heard her whimper at the pressure. My hand gripped her jaw and kissed her deeper, rocking my hips down into hers, only for Quinntessa to pull away.
“I-I, uh—” Her anxious, bambi-like eyes darted around my face.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” I asked, backing up and checking to make sure I wasn’t leaning on her hair again.
“No, um, I’ve never . . .” She scratched nervously at her cheek. “Look, um, I don’t want you to think I’m weird, but I’ve never . . . done this.”
“Kissed anyone?”
“I’ve kissed a few boys.” Quinntessa blinked when I smiled in amusement. “Okay, so, one boy, but he is gay now, so, um . . .”
My heart ached when betraying tears welled up in her eyes. Her fingers quivered, and she struggled to meet my eyes.
“Quinntessa . . .” I breathed out.
“I’m sorry. You’re gonna think I’m so weird.”
“Hey . . .” I sank back at her side and opened my arms to her. She avoided my gaze and sat up, hugging her knees. “Baby girl, if this is about you being a virgin, I don’t care about that.”
“How did you know that?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“I—” I winced and sat up to sit beside her.
“I act like a virgin. That’s it, isn’t it? It's that bad?” Quinntessa squeaked. She let her head fall into her hands. “Oh, my goddess. This is so embarrassing. I shouldn’t have stopped you. I’m sorry. We can keep going. I’m so sorry.”
“What the fuck? No. Stop it.” I grabbed her legs and yanked her closer to me, forcing her to sit half over my lap. “I do care. I want you to tell me what you’re not okay with. I . . . Quinntessa, I’m fine with you being a virgin! Perfectly fine, actually.”
Damn. That sounded shitty.
“So you’re okay with it,” Quinntessa sniffled.
“What I meant was, you having no experience with sex is not something that will drive me away. I’m a bit of a whore. You should be worried about me. Not the other way around.”
“But . . .” She rubbed under her eyes. “You’re going to get tired of that. You’ve been with people better and . . . and I’m not?”
“I’m here, okay? Just be honest with me on how you’re feeling and I’ll listen. I’ll always listen.” I gently touched her knee.
Quinntessa picked at the leaves below her and nodded. She inhaled deeply and avoided my gaze, eyes watering.
“Baby, look at me.”
She whined and ignored my words, making me growl at her refusal.
“Quinntessa Eleanor, look at me.” This grabbed her attention enough to drag her eyes up to mine. “Sweet girl, I am never going to be upset with you when you tell me the truth, especially if you’re uncomfortable. I am not here with you for sex. If you are not ready, it’s perfectly normal.”
“I-I’m not ready to do all that.” Her voice cracked.
“I want to, but I’m really nervous. I don’t know what I’m doing.
And I’ve never let anyone see me like that or touch me even close to this!
It’s all a lot to process so soon, and—” She gulped, a flicker of fear in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Quinn. I really am. I can’t do that right now. ”
“No apologizing. You’re not ready, and that’s fine.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry for touching you without asking.”
Quinntessa lowered her head. I hated how shameful she looked. I dug my fingers into her curls and pulled her face closer. She scrunched up her nose adorably as I kissed her cheek. I didn’t stop with my messy kiss until her lips curled into a small smile.
“I’ll keep my lady boner under control next time.
” I pecked her scrunched nose and released my soft hold on the back of her neck.
“Let me know if I ever touch you where you don’t want to be touched.
Punch me, slap me, kick me in the throat.
Let me know, and I’ll stop. I promise you.
No one will touch you unless you say it’s okay. ”
Quinntessa rolled her eyes and shoved me.
“Lady boner? Ew. You’re disgusting.”
“Hey, it’s you who’s to blame. You’re too beautiful.” I grabbed her arm and lightly tugged her to lie back down.
This time, I let her snuggle up to me and touched the little sliver of skin I was allowed on her hip. She placed her hand on top of mine and laced our fingers.
I’d had a lot of sexual relationships, a lot of partners and quick fucks. Still, my time with Quinntessa seemed so much more intimate. I could live without sex. I mean, I think I could. I’d at least try for her. Nothing would change knowing she wanted to take it much slower than I had.
Oddly, that little moment of boundaries meant more to me than our first kiss.
Maybe I was selfish of believing that. I’ve always been the girl that ripped off clothes and dove into bed at first offer.
I found it fun and a great excuse to decompress.
Now, being with Quinntessa was fun. She knew how to lift the weight on my shoulders without even trying.
I couldn’t believe I embarrassed myself sobbing my eyes out at the kennels when she kissed me.
All I could think about was the future. What would happen when we did reach Valentine’s Day?
Would she ever forgive me? And fuck, what was I thinking trying to move forward with her in the woods?
No human with a brain does that. No human with a heart and soul and . . .
I wouldn’t hurt her. Satan is my witness, I’d rather be chained up in the church basement once more than make her that uncomfortable again.
My eyes closed and I tried my best to rid the image of Quinntessa’s watery eyes from my memory. I crossed a line. I needed to be better. Even monsters have morals.
“Quincy?” she whispered.
“Mustang?” I hummed.
My eyes opened and I watched a star shoot across the sky.
I wish she never met me. She’d be safer.
“Thanks.” Quinntessa laid her cheek on my shoulder and snuggled up to me. “For understanding.”
I kissed her temple and pulled her closer.
“Always.”