Chapter 68
“ALL FOR US” BY LAbrINTH AND ZENDAYA
Ilaid there all night, battling off sandman after sandman. My eyes would droop, but before I could fall into his hold, I would wiggle my foot and let the pain bring me back.
I couldn’t fail her again. I wouldn’t.
Quinntessa had shivered all night. She was freezing. Her body wrapped so tightly around me, I thought she was the reason I struggled to breathe. Now, I believed it might be a broken rib or two.
Her hair was filled with straw. I had gotten up earlier and broken the band of an old hay bale, making a makeshift nest for her and I to lay in. My body trembled, but it was hard to believe I was cold when the pain throbbing around my body controlled almost every thought.
The morning sun was a blessing. It felt rejuvenating to see the light peer down through the window. With it came the heat. Although this time of year wasn’t that warm, it didn’t matter.
We had survived the night.
Bright sunlight pierced through the trees as we walked west. The leaves were scattered with frost, and snow fell lightly overall. I wish we could enjoy the first snowfall over coffee and snuggles, but life obviously had other plans for us.
It felt like we were walking in circles. I knew that wasn’t true, but it was still agonizing. Each slow step made me wonder if I’d be able to keep my word to Quinntessa.
Would we make it out of here alive?
“What are you doing?” I stopped walking and looked a little behind me to see Quinntessa running her fingers over a tree.
“Evelyn’s your mom’s name?” She pointed out of my sight. “Has your family always owned this land?”
“Not always.” I stepped back beside her and pushed air through my nose. “Pretty sure they stole it like everything else.”
Carved into the wood was my mother’s name, her E much larger than the rest of the name. I reached out and traced each letter with a soft hum. Then, my fingers dropped down to where a second name was scratched out.
“Did she scratch out your father’s name?” Quinntessa asked, squinting at the tree.
“She never loved him.” I shook my head and turned away from the tree. “Love isn’t encouraged in my family.”
“Sounds horrible.” She pouted.
“It is. Look where we are.” My feet scuffed in the leaves as Quinntessa caught up with me. “I think we should keep west to the farm. Someone’s bound to be there.”
“Someone good?”
“Not usually, but they’ll have a car.”
I heard Quinntessa sigh. I didn’t blame her for being frustrated. She’d been dragged into this world by me, and now it was my support she had to lean on in order to make it out.
“The closer we get to the farm, the more risk there is.” I focused on the red leaves on the ground mixing with the endless sea of brown.
It wasn’t the most beautiful forest. There were too many bodies buried here to keep its natural soils aesthetic to the eye.
“We’ll have to find a way to the pig pen—don’t touch it, though. ”
“The pigs?” Quinntessa frowned a moment before her face paled. “Um, Quincy?”
“Yes, the pigs.”
“I watched this episode once on Criminal Minds.”
I chuckled when she chewed nervously on her bottom lip. The gears worked in her brain so smoothly. Once she was more comfortable, I knew she’d have five billion questions for me, and I was prepared to answer every single one with a cautious level of honesty.
Which felt much closer than I was prepared for.
“Where this man fed people he killed to pigs.” Her big brown eyes found mine. “So, um?—”
“Yes,” I sighed.
“Yes?” She gulped. “And your father did that, or, um, your, uh?—”
My feet hit the dirt, and I spun to face her. “Ask me.”
Quinntessa’s eyes swam with guilt. She opened her mouth to say something then looked down.
“I’m sorry. I’m still trying to piece this all together.” She stepped up to me and let her shoulders fall.
“I’ve killed more people in the last twenty-four hours, thinking you were dead, than I have in eighteen years,” I confessed, making her eyes widened.
“And I was prepared to kill more if I didn’t find where they took your body.
I had no reason besides the psychotic tendencies this family has instilled in me. ”
I jabbed my chest with my finger and stepped into her space, gritting my teeth down at her, but Quinntessa’s eyes only softened.
“I am a killer, Quinntessa.”
“Hi, Killer.” Quinntessa’s right brow cocked upward. “I’m your smack back to reality. You saved my life. I’m pissed, but not enough to hate you. Isn’t that obvious?”
“This isn’t the time for one of your pep ta?—”
“You had reason. You killed for your child. You killed for me.” Quinntessa inhaled deeply and nodded. “And I know what that’s like. I . . .”
I raised my brows when she winced.
“Once killed a ladybug for my son. Her head came clean off.”
Did I say Quinntessa had hidden darkness in her eyes? I meant she was the center of a gooey chocolate chip. With angel wings. And sparkles. A lot of fucking sparkles. I was pretty sure she bled glitter at this point.
“Wow.” I blinked. “I guess my father killing your grandpa isn’t that gruesome now.”
Quinntessa’s face scrunched, her eyes confused.
“I have a grandpa?” she asked.
I slowly turned away from her and continued walking.
“Not anymore.”
“Goddess, wait, I—Christ, Quincy! Listen!” Quinntessa limped after me. “This is insane, but it’s not something where you’re just killing. You’re protecting yourself and your family. Self-defense!”
I didn’t stop walking. She’d catch up with me. My ankle was a balloon, and she had more stamina than me even with some discomfort in her walk.
“I need you to start processing this, not pushing it away.” I told her. “I kill people. People like you. That’s why you got taken. That’s why we’re running for our lives. You could still die.”
“But you said . . .” Quinntessa’s voice trailed off.
“I can’t protect you, but not as much as you need.” I closed my eyes a second and opened them back up to dodge a tree in my path.
“I can protect myself. I killed someone too.” Her voice lowered. “So, it’s . . . I’m not a great person either, but it doesn’t mean we can’t figure this out.”
“You saved my life.” I took a fleeting look in her direction. “I’m beyond grateful to you. I hope I can protect you that well.”
Quinntessa groaned behind me. I didn’t pay her much attention when her feet scuffled in the leaves loudly. I didn’t want to be cold to her, but she wasn’t accepting this correctly. She should be scared; running for her life from the mob wasn’t some joking matter.
“Stop, okay? Just stop,” she frustratingly shouted. “Stop being cryptic with me.”
“It’s safer for you.” I stopped walking and turned to face her. “We have to keep going, or we won’t make it before sundown.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you explain it to me.” Quinntessa stubbornly planted her feet. “Why did he drink blood?”
“Mustang, we?—”
“Tell me!”
“Because we do that!” I snapped, and she gasped in surprise. “Is that what you want to hear? Yes, Quinntessa. We drink blood ceremonially. I have cannibals in my fucking family. Why? Because I don’t believe in a false god. I believe in?—”
“The devil?” she whispered.
I opened my mouth to counter her interruption, but nothing came out. I didn’t want to lie to her anymore.
“When I was hours old, I was baptized in blood.” I swallowed under her judgmental eyes. She tried to hide it, but her sneer of disgust was clear. “My grandfather is the pakhan, the boss of our…organization. You may see it as a cult. I do sometimes as well.”
“Oh.” Quinntessa slowly nodded.
“My father is the captain, and I’m going to find a way to exile him. Kill him if I must.” I shrugged. “Which will give me the power to protect you. In my family, a Harrekson must lead. The blood of a legacy. Make sense?”
She squinted at me.
“Quinntessa.” I looked around and slowly got to my knees. “I swear to you, this is the truth. I have been groomed for this position since I was young. My grandfather wants me to rise to power until the dark father.”
“Satan?” she whispered, holding her breath.
“Yes.” I slowly nodded.
“But you said you went to church?” Quinntessa frowned deeply.
“I did. I went to Black Mass. I endured training within my church group. I sat in confession with my feet on hot coals when I admitted my pregnancy to the dark father,” I explained under a shaky breath.
Quinntessa once again struggled to hide her facial expressions. She smiled, a clearly fake smile, disgust in her eyes.
“That’s nice,” she nervously giggled. “And you said you eat people?”
“Some in my family have more than a lust for blood.” I nodded.
“And you?” Quinntessa hesitantly stepped forward. “Do you…lust for more than blood?”
I tilted my head back and met her eyes. “I only lust for you and killing anyone who’s touched you.” I let my head hang. “Please forgive me for my sins.”
I felt Quinntessa’s hands on my face as she forced me to look at her.
“I already told you.” Her hands slid around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. “I don’t believe in sins.”
Her lips brushed my ear when I refused to hug her back. This was too good to be true.
“I believe in your golden heart, Killer.” Quinntessa nuzzled my ear. “I want to stay in your arms forever.”
“I can make that arrangement.” My arms wrapped around her quickly. A soft groan escaped me when Quinntessa buried her head into my neck, her lips brushing my skin.
A whistle struck through my ears. It was quiet. Close to mute. A striking pattern that sent me back years into my past when it was I who struggled to learn the tune.
I quickly stood and dragged Quinntessa up from the ground. She brushed the snow off her legs and hugged her goosebump-covered stomach.
“What?” Quinntessa tilted her head and stepped closer to me. She searched the direction I was facing. “Did the dogs catch our smell?”
“Shut up,” I hissed.
Quinntessa’s head slowly turned back to me, eyes narrowing.
“Who the hell are you talking to?” she asked, eyes testing me.
I ignored the very clear warning in her eyes and raised my finger to my lips. My eyes raised to the skyline, moving through the edge of higher ground.