Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Selena
His tail stopped flicking in my hands. I looked up to find the cause, only to see his focus was on my hands. Just as I was about to let go, his voice halted my release.
“I want to take the time to know you again. You have changed since the last time we spent a night in our dreamscape world. You have become stronger, more confident. And you have a fiery attitude about you. These traits weren’t as dominant before.
I feel like spending time with the Circuli has changed you.
” His forehead scrunched. “Not in a bad way.”
What he said was true—even with the craziness of being pregnant, my time on the Destiny changed me.
Both Odelm and Xylo taught me it was okay to have opinions, to have the need to learn, and to desire independence.
I felt as if I could be myself, instead of trying to be a submissive test subject for the Yaarkins.
Finally, I was about to have my own opinions, wants, and needs without fearing punishment.
“Are you jealous of them?”
Zirene looked up, locking his eyes with mine.
“Jealous? I wouldn’t call it that.” He placed his drink on the table next to mine and picked up my legs, placing them on his lap, and began to massage my feet.
“If I had it my way, you would only be mine.
The Stars and the Fates made you my Nova for some unknown reason.
But knowing this, I would feel uncomfortable leaving you alone for long periods of time.
I know I will be a difficult male to be with and to love.
I spend a lot of time traveling and managing my star system.
Meeting you in our dreamscape world wouldn't be enough to fill all the hours you would spend alone in between. How can I be jealous when only I can spend time with you while you sleep? Odelm and Xylo give you things you need. Things I may not be able to give you—ever. And I know you care for, love, and want them. Forcing you to be alone when you have been alone all of your life would be unfair to you. How can I love you, knowing I also hurt you?”
“But you did hurt me. You impregnated me without my consent,” I breathed.
He halted his hands as his face filled with sorrow.
“Selena…”
I yanked my feet out of his paws and sat up.
“You have all the power. Can’t you see that?”
“What do you mean? You are my Nova, and we are now mated.” His face scrunched in confusion.
“I am inferior to you in every way. I am in no way equal to you—physically or in status. Not only are you rich, but you are also an ishing prince of the most powerful species in CEG! How am I supposed to compare to that?”
Zirene jerked back as if I had hit him, pain filling his eyes.
“That may be true, Selena, but I would never use that against you.”
“But you did! Don’t you understand? You did!
You bought me and used our connection to coax me into having sex with you, knowing full well you were going to impregnate me.
Then you took your time to return for me, only for that mission to become an utter shit-fest!
If it weren’t for me escaping by myself, I would have died.
Now, tell me—if I wanted to continue to travel the stars with the Circuli instead of coming here, would you have allowed me?
Or would you have hunted me down, so you could take me and the cubs you impregnated me with to wherever you wanted to go? ”
He closed his eyes and looked away before taking a long sip from his glass.
“You are right… and wrong…” He paused, unable to stifle his chuckle.
“But I would have assigned Kaede to protect you permanently until you wanted to reestablish contact with me again. Then I would have tried to convince you to live on the estate I built for you.” A sad smile crossed his lips.
“We are connected in ways others won’t be able to imagine…
and there is nothing that could stop that. I only want the best for you.”
I wanted to trust his words and go back to the way it was between us when we met in the dreamscape. Our time together there had felt natural and carefree—but his actions had caused strife between us.
I was sick of fighting, but I also needed to get everything off my chest. He needed to know how much he hurt me.
“Don’t you see? How can I trust you? If I don’t want to do something, are you going to force me?
The Yarrkins just took, took, and took— no matter how much we didn’t want it.
” My voice cracked as tears started to fall.
“Some women accepted their fate and learned to love it, others like me tolerated it because if we didn’t, it would be the end of us.
You are in the same position of power—but it’s worse because you betrayed me. ”
Zirene pulled me onto his lap, my body pressed against his as he wrapped his arms around me.
I felt dwarfed by his stature as he caged me.
His fur was soft against my skin as warmth radiated from him.
His paw-like hand lightly pulled my hair off my marked neck.
I winced from the slight rawness. A purr resonated from his chest and its rumble vibrated against my back.
“I just want things to be how they were between us, but now, it is more than just us.”
“Selena… this wasn’t how things were supposed to be.
” He sighed. “I don’t regret you being my Nova, but I know others won’t agree with us being together.
A few have already voiced such opinions and will probably try to use it against both of us.
Knowing this and the resistance I’ve already experienced, I wanted you to know me for who I am, not my position or power.
I didn’t want the Yaarkins finding out somehow.
I wanted us to be on an even footing—to be equals when we were together.
I felt like I could be myself with you without having to put up the front as I do with others. ”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “That makes sense, but I am still upset about how everything unfolded.”
“Selena, I know it will take time to forgive me. I promise I will make it up to you.” He took in a deep breath before letting it out, tickling my neck.
“Aldawi females tend to community-raise their cubs after the first month. They leave their mother at around six months to learn how to hunt with mentors, along with others their age. By three years old, they are sent to an academy during the day until they graduate at twenty-five years old.” He gently squeezed his arms around me.
“I won’t have you around female Aldawi, not at this point in time, but I have hired a full crew for your clan’s land.
You will have guards, a full kitchen staff, housekeepers, along with caretakers and mentors for all of our children—current and future.
There will also be medical staff on-site with their own infirmary. ”
“Why?” I choked, stunned by this knowledge.
“As you said, I impregnated you without your knowledge. I want to make raising our children as easy as possible, so if you want to do something, like studying a subject, having a career, or exploring the stars. I forced you to be a mother before you were ready, and I want to make sure you have the freedom of the stars to do whatever you want.”
Words failed me. He was giving me the freedom to do whatever I want yet continue to be a mother.
I would never feel lost with all the help he hired.
Raising children, not even of my own species, was something I feared.
I didn’t want them to have a handicap by not giving them the knowledge they needed to be on the same level as other Aldawi children their age.
When our cubs—and any children Odelm and Xylo may sire—were in the academy, I would have that time to do what I wanted without feeling guilty.
Education was an important factor for all three species.
I just needed to make sure we spent time at night together as a family.
He lapped at my mark, slowly at first, and when I didn’t object, continued at a quicker speed, his tongue wet and slightly rough as it brushed against my skin. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensations flooding me, feeling the pain gradually leave me.
“What happened after you marked me?” I whispered.
Zirene halted his licking. I could feel his hot, deep breaths against my wet skin, tickling me.
“You submitted to me. That is the greatest honor to give a male Aldawi—a female’s submission.
In my struggle to not throw you on the floor and take you in front of everyone, I entered a focused trance and lost track of time.
It is almost instinctive—primal. It’s an Aldawi tradition and happens whenever a female submits to a male, more so since I am a royal.
My dominant aura thrived from your display, and in my dazed state, I lost control of it.
It took Royak to fight me with his own aura and your nestmates using their appendages to make me release your collapsed, unconscious form,” he strained.
His deep raspy voice, combined with his purrs, rolled through my body.
“How long was I out?” I murmured as I tried to comprehend what he told me.