Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Selena
As I sat between Odelm and Xylo, I watched everyone mingle. Xylo was engaged in a heated discussion with his fellow Circuli.
As I studied the Aldawi, it was interesting to see the paw gestures and body expressions they used together.
Anyone looking at the group could see they were close and got along well.
I didn’t know if they were trying to be considerate and not wake up the cubs, or if they were trying to make sure we didn’t hear what they were saying.
The atmosphere in the room was calm but held a contained excitement.
It was as if they were waiting for something groundbreaking to happen, enjoying being together and getting prepared for a historic meeting.
I knew my capabilities were one of a kind, including being able to produce interspecies offspring—remarkably not a weird hybrid, which was unheard of.
Sometimes, I thought it was what I was that made people want to know me and get in my good graces, not who I was as a person.
A vine wrapped around my wrist, pulling my attention away from the Aldawi to its owner. “Selena. You know that isn’t true.”
Xylo’s gaze held mine, refusing to let me break away.
“What isn’t true?” Odelm asked.
“Our nestqueen was having dark thoughts. She was wondering if others were only interested in what she is instead who she is.”
“That would explain why her spots are turning orange and brown.” Odelm wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer until I rested against his chest. “There is no need for those thoughts. Xylo and I love you for who you are and what you are to us.”
“You truly were having those thoughts?” Zirene asked behind me, his voice strained.
I turned my body around in Odelm’s hold and faced Zirene. His facial expression, along with the others around him, was full of bafflement.
“What did you expect? I leave the Yaarkins and get discovered by the crew on the Destiny.” I point to the Circuli behind me.
“Then, I am told how barbaric and savage I am.” I tilted my head toward Chyox.
“Or how amazing my capabilities are.” I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Everyone keeps saying how I am history in the making and how I will change everything around me with what I can accomplish.” I could feel tears forming at the edges of my eyes.
“Same with my cubs. Then you tell me some politicians may force us to be part of some experiment?” I locked my eyes with Zirene’s, challenging him.
“Tell me now. Did I escape one master only to be transferred to the hands of another? Does being your Nova guarantee my obedience? I refuse to be led on and told everything will be fine and work out—for me to not worry—only to be caught unprepared to be let down and lied to.”
The room fell silent. They didn’t like it?
Too bad. I knew Xylo and Odelm didn’t mean to make me feel the way I did.
They had always cared about me as a person, yet they still made the same comments in passing when talking with others.
It was tiring. Was I always going to be that female?
The female who was a Yaarkin prototype? The female who was able to adapt to any species she was with and capable of producing purebred offspring?
What about Selena? The female who survived growing inside a tube and brought to life only nine years ago?
The person who taught herself whatever she could get her hands on?
The female who learned to keep her head down and survive?
The one who found her own way to escape when the mission to rescue her failed?
I had dreams, needs, and wants too. Emotions and feelings. Opinions.
Ever since we landed, everything revolved around my health or the cubs, not about me as a person.
And the one male who begged me to trust him and let him in, even if it was only as a friend and not a member of my clan, broke down the walls that I had built up.
My punishment for foolishly trusting him was that he had been absent ever since my labor.
Kaede hadn’t checked on the cubs or me. He hadn’t been around other than leading us to the welcome party, where he refused to acknowledge me at all.
What happened to us being friends? What happened to him being my Head of Security? Not checking, in the flesh, on the one person you were in charge of went against everything he told me.
I knew I was foolish for welcoming him. He would always put his duty in front of what little friendship we formed. Lesson learned. I would keep him an arm's length away and refuse to let him in again.
A cry sounded from where the cubs were sleeping, pulling me from my thoughts.
Odelm released his hold on me, allowing me to move away. I climbed off the lounge chair and walked around the Aldawi males gathered together. I could feel the weight of the room’s occupants gazing on me as I walked to my cubs. Meti had woken up crying while her twin brothers continued to sleep.
Picking her up, I brought her to my shoulder and grabbed a formula bottle from the dispenser.
I walked over to the glass wall that faced outside and fed Meti as I watched ships come and go from the space station.
Steeling myself, I refused to break down in front of everyone as if I was a fragile female who needed coddling.
“Selena. You know that is not how we feel about you,” Odelm comforted.
“We are sorry for making you feel that way. I admit I get excited about your abilities and studying you, but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I want to make sure I can understand as much about you as possible to make sure you are healthy, so that if something happened to you, I could aid you. Everything you do is history in the making, but that doesn’t mean we don’t see you as a person, Selena,” Xylo confirmed.
Grabbing both of their golden bond threads, I replied, “I wasn’t talking about you guys.
You both have made me feel like a person and cherished.
I understand what I am in your field of study, Xylo.
Sometimes, when you are talking among your colleagues about me while I am present, I feel like I did with the Yaarkins.
They would talk about me in front of me, as if I wasn’t intelligent enough to understand what they were saying.
Sure, I didn’t know all of their medical terms, but after a while, it didn’t take much to figure out what they were. ”
“I am sorry for making you feel that way. I didn’t know that was how I made you feel,” Xylo explained.
“Selena?” Zirene asked softly behind me.
Refusing to turn around and face him, I continued to look out into the beautiful darkness of space.
“Did you order Kaede away?”
“What? No. He has his orders, but I didn’t order him away. He is still in charge of protecting you. Why?” Zirene answered, confused.
“So why hasn’t he visited me since I had our cubs? He hasn’t had a conversation with me since I went into labor.”
“Perhaps he believes he needed to distance himself from you and felt as if you both were getting too personal. He likes to keep to himself and remain detached on missions. I believe he said, feelings cause mistakes, and he does not need them… He must have his reasons why he has kept away from you.”
I rolled my eyes. If I was too emotional and somehow distracting to Kaede, that was his problem, not mine.
What did everyone expect? I just delivered cubs.
Of course, I was still hormonal, but that didn’t mean I was unstable.
My crying fits during my whole pregnancy pissed me off, but I didn’t believe I was as bad as everyone made it seem.
At least not from what I read about humans and what Xylo told me what to expect during postpartum.
Kaede could go run off and play with his drones for all I cared.
If he had no good reason why he wanted to distance himself from me, then he couldn't tell me what to do.
He could spend his time acting like one of the guards hovering around.
Someone paid to be security and nothing else.
Not someone who tried to get me to trust them and form a friendship.
I guessed being friends with his assignment was too much for him.
I had more important things to deal with than to think about some male who wanted nothing to do with me outside his job.
“Selena. Is that how you feel?” Royak’s warm voice asked.
I turned to face the males in the room and noticed they were all watching me with a range of facial expressions that varied from confusion to concern to sadness.
“Yes. Most of my conversations since I woke up on the Destiny—outside of the ones I had with my nestmates—have always been about my body and my cubs, not me as a person.” I replied, meeting his pale lavender eyes.
“I wasn’t aboard the Destiny, but I would like to get to know the female who captured my brother’s heart.
Whether or not you know it, being his Nova and Mate has officially made you my sister.
We may not be littermates or born to the same parents—or even the same species—but that doesn’t mean you are worth any less as a person. ”
“Sadly, you have little time to get to know each other if we are to prepare you for the meeting at the CEG Assembly tomorrow. We have to go over our strategies and the plans for afterward. You asked me for a wish before everyone arrived, and I plan on fulfilling it. To do so, we need to have our meeting.” Zirene walked up and paused in front of me, locking his eyes with mine. They pleaded for me to understand.
“To make sure my plans are successful and everyone gets everything they want, we need to focus on making the politicians content to leave you and our cubs alone. Once I get our clan settled, you can get to know each other better.” He tilted his head toward his brothers behind him.
“I am sure my brothers and all the folks I have waiting for you want to get to know the amazing female I have been talking about for the last nine years.” He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head before he brushed my hair back, glancing down at Meti feeding.
“I searched for you for the last nine years, with only our time in the dreamscape world to keep me sane. I traveled across the stars to find you. Things didn’t work out as planned, and instead of rescuing you myself, others brought you to me.
But now I have you with me, I am not planning to let you go.
You can have your freedoms and you will be safe in the Aldawi territory, but now you are my Mate, nothing will keep you away from me. I swear it.”