Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Selena
“Hold on tight,” Kaede directed, gripping me tightly. His cape wrapped around me tightly as his hand dug into my side. In a blink of an eye, we went from his dark bedroom to the middle of the Aldawi Royal Commons. A wave of nausea passed through me as popping sounded in my ears once again.
Bright lights assaulted my vision as a series of gasps filled the room. I placed a hand over my eyes, squinting as they adjusted. My nestmates—both new and old—surrounded me with their appendages fully extended and ready to strike.
“Stand down!” Kaede barked. “Your nestqueen needs medical attention and wanted to return to get aid.”
Xylo instantly went into scholar mode, his teal eyes focusing on mine as he made his way to me, wrapping his vines around his torso. The others slowly followed.
“What is the matter?” he asked urgently, his voice laced with concern.
Kaede carefully unwrapped his cloak from me and stepped away as I held out my arms to Xylo to inspect.
“It seems that Zirene—accidentally or not—injured my arm as he tried to prevent me from leaving. His nails ripped my coat’s sleeve and dug into my arm. When I slapped him, my hand was injured. I believe it’s only bruised, but I still would like you to look at it. If you would, please?”
His eyes softened. “You don’t need to ask, Selena.”
His cool hands lightly grabbed my arm as he examined them. The others hovered nearby, ready to assist when needed.
“I will go get your cubs for you, Selena, and bring them here.” Kaede glanced at me, his eyes covered once more. “I assume that you will feel better once you are surrounded by your clan.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Kaede, I would appreciate that, but that doesn’t mean you will get away from answering my questions.”
“Of course not,” he chuckled with a smirk before leaving.
“I told Chyox that Kaede was coming to bring the cubs back here.” Xylo turned to Odelm. “Can you gather my med kit and scanner from our room? I want to make sure, even though nothing looks serious, and they should heal fairly quickly.”
“Is it possible for us to go there instead?” I asked, staring at my shredded outfit.
“I would feel better if I could take a quick shower, change into a fresh set of clothes, and perhaps have dinner since the trial went on for so long.” I looked at Xylo for confirmation. “I mean, if you believe that is okay.”
He glanced at the other three Circuli before returning his gaze to mine.
“Let us take care of you, Selena. You have been through enough.” He released my arms. “Odelm will help you get undressed and shower. Let me get my equipment ready and prep your bed. V’dim and Z’fir will get food ordered to our room and help Kaede with the cubs when he arrives.”
My heart swelled at how they were already working together.
Yet in the small dark corner of my mind, there was a part of me that wondered if they were like this because their biology told them to—because they needed to—and not because they wanted to.
Had I doomed them to become biological slaves with me as their master?
Had I become what I ran from?
How could they keep secrets from me, knowing it would upset me?
A gentle kiss pressed against my forehead, its coolness bringing me to the present as my worries drifted away,
“Don’t think such dark thoughts,” Xylo said as his teal eyes drilled into mine. “If I were a slave, I would want you as my master. Never compare yourself to the Yaarkins.” He stepped away and led me to Odelm. “Enjoy yourself as you freshen up, and we will explain everything over dinner.”
Odelm carefully wrapped an arm around me as he nodded at Xylo. I glanced at my princes and noticed they were watching me. I halted and turned to them, needing to address the sudden sour feeling in my gut.
“I am sorry our court bonding was in front of an audience… and Stars, now I think about it, probably recorded and cast galaxy-wide. I don’t know how Circuli nestqueens traditionally do it, but I wanted to apologize anyhow.
I just wanted to help… and make sure both you and your crew got a new home.
I understand how it feels to be severed, but if either of you doesn’t want me as a nestqueen and want someone else, I wouldn't have any hard feelings. Just let me know before we arrive on my moon, so you both can start leading with no major changes.”
Shocked expressions filled their faces. V’dim glanced at Z’fir.
“We are both honored to have you as our nestqueen and do not wish to sever our bond with you,” Z’fir replied.
V’dim nodded and faced me, his face full of confusion.
“We are honored we were chosen to be a part of your clan, but we don’t understand why you are comparing yourself to Circuli standards when clearly you are not Circuli. While we understand there will be challenges ahead, we know to aid you as our nestqueen in a place to call home will be worth it.”
“I still wanted to apologize for how everything went.” Surveying the others in the room, I sighed. “I am sorry for what happened today as well. I hope to ease any fears and answer questions once I am done. I want some answers of my own.”
“Of course,” Xylo agreed. “But first, go and relax.”
Listening to him, I turned and allowed Odelm to lead me to our shared Royal Apartment.
I didn’t see Zirene on my journey to the master bathroom.
A weight lifted from my shoulders as I realized I didn’t have to face him.
I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him—again—when I needed to fix things with my nestmates first.
Odelm walked into the master bathroom beside me in awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say to him or how he felt about today’s events. He was the more sensitive nestmate in the clan.
I watched him as he let go of my waist and backed away. His eyes seemed to dim when his focus fell on my ruined sleeve.
“Odelm?” I whispered.
His pale green eyes looked up at mine before falling onto Zirene’s mark. “Yes, Selena?”
“What is wrong?”
“I don’t know how to answer that,” he murmured.
I sighed and began removing my clothes. If he would not tell me why he was so standoffish, I would not force him. When he found the words to explain what was on his mind, then I could help ease whatever feelings he may have.
I dropped my undershirt onto the pile of clothes on the black tile floor and checked myself in the wall-sized mirror.
My body had returned to its original shape. Either my healing abilities or the medication my team gave me—maybe a combination—was responsible for the rapid changes. Whatever it was, I appreciated being able to skip the struggles of post-postpartum body changes.
I glanced down at my arm and gently scratched the caked blood off one mark, which was pink as if it was days old. Surprised, I checked a few of the deeper ones and was shocked by the same observation. I studied my hand and opened and closed it a few times.
No pain, just a slight stiffness.
I knew I healed fast but not at this speed.
Was that why Xylo wasn’t worried about my injuries?
“Yes, Selena. I saw they were healing at a rapid speed and decided if you were still having problems after your shower, I would give you an examination and some medication. Your body can manage minor injuries on its own.”
“Thank you for the confirmation,” I replied, glancing at Odelm through the mirror’s reflection. “Do you know what’s wrong with Odelm? Why he is acting weird?”
“That is something you two need to discuss on your own,” he replied gently. “Just know he is in a fragile state at the moment and needs you.”
“Thank you, Xylo.”
I turned to Odelm and inspected him. His coloring was off—parts of him were a stressed darkened black, a worried orange, or a nervous yellow. Sighing, I walked over to him as his eyes followed me across the bathroom. I reached him and lightly grabbed his hand, leading him to the shower.
“It’s been a long day. I believe Xylo asked you to help me shower.” I glanced over my shoulder. “That is… if you want to.”
He hesitated as he peered down at our joined hands. “I want to. I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
Rolling my eyes, I dropped his hand and opened the large, clear shower.
I stepped onto the black-tiled floor and studied the options along the wall.
It was definitely designed for a group to enjoy themselves together with its benches along the three walls and the multiple showerheads.
Stars, I didn’t know any of the variety of soap options available.
How did Zirene know I bathed with both Xylo and Odelm? Did he believe my nestmates would join me as I showered? Or did he hope he would?
A cool violet arm reached above me and pushed some buttons, selecting an option before I could.
All the shower jets turned on, the water’s warmth filling the enclosure with steam.
A deep sigh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensations.
I unconsciously stepped back into Odelm’s hard chest and smiled.
“You are distant… are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked, leaning more into his wet body.
Arms wrapped around my stomach gently, holding me tightly as the warm water poured down between us. His ombre violet anemone hair draped over me as he lowered his chin onto my shoulder.
“I don’t know where to start,” Odelm replied softly.
“If you can’t tell me, how I am supposed to fix things and help ease your mind?”
I felt him exhale as his arms tightened.
“I know I failed you, but I fear…” He released his hold on me and stepped away. “I feel like you may… want to replace me.”
I turned to face him. His head was down as his hair curtained in front of his eyes, blocking them from me.
I combed his hair back with both hands, its smoothness easily threading through my fingers, and grabbed his cheeks, pulling his gaze to meet mine.
It was filled with sorrow, dimmed of any life.
“Why would you think such things?”
He glanced away, unable to meet my eyes.