Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Selena
Lounging on the circle couch in the Royal Aldawi Commons, I watched Pavryn play with the cubs, glancing periodically at the ships passing the glass wall.
Everything about me felt drained—my body, heart, mind, and soul felt as if all the pressures and stress that piled on top of each other, each day on the space station, finally became too much. I couldn’t handle another incident or have another problem manifest itself with no warning.
Xylo left right after breakfast with both princes to help prepare for the Destiny’s embarkment, scheduled for after dinner. It would be about a five-day journey to Destima.
Five days away from both princes.
They said the journey would have more strain on them if they were permanently bonded with me, but the thought of them trying to resist smothering me with their advances was both sweet… and concerning.
I knew they were grateful I invited them into my clan—that wasn’t the issue—straining themselves by controlling their appendages instead of focusing on shielding themselves from their crew’s net was. No wonder they were tired by the time we got to our nestbed every night.
I wasn’t much better.
Zirene’s news about the foreign presence almost killing me created an awkward silence in the room—combined with the calming feelings both Odelm and V’dim were sending me, which made my eyelids heavy.
One moment, I was watching Zirene pace along the glass wall, and the next, I woke up entangled with my nestmates without the cubs nearby.
Xylo reassured me Zirene had insisted on watching over them so I could get a full night’s sleep. I knew he was trying to get into my good graces—whether I accepted him into my clan was to be determined.
Zirene was an Aldawi—and it was true that Aldawi weren’t used to being in a relationship. In his own way, he was trying to protect me the best ways he knew how—as flawed as they might have been. His heart was in the right place, he just failed at the execution.
Eventually, he would need to stop watching the cubs at night and purposely avoiding our shared time. It would be awkward at first, but I didn’t want to be attacked again just because we couldn’t get over our differences.
Why did things have to be so difficult?
I sighed and sipped my glass of water. I wouldn’t be drinking anything else for a while.
Nope, that was for sure. I had enough to deal with and didn’t need another incident from being drugged or drinking something alcoholic that would alter my logic.
Perhaps, once things settled down, and there wasn’t something looming in the near future, I would be able to enjoy myself without fear or guilt.
Until then, I needed to remain level-headed to tackle what would come.
And then there was Kaede…
He’d left in a huff and hadn’t come back. If it wasn’t for what I had done to him, I would’ve dismissed it as him acting normal—we argued, he got mad, then stormed off.
Sometimes, I wondered why he stayed. For a man with so many kills on his record, it would be better to use his abilities and resources elsewhere.
It didn’t seem he enjoyed being assigned to guard me, yet he stayed.
“What ails you?” Odelm asked, brushing my hair away from my face. “I can tell by the swirl of emotions coming from you, something is bothering you.”
“I just want to spend time alone with my clan, away from all the drama, so we can finally relax,” I replied, leaning into his hand, feeling the cool smoothness as he cupped my cheek.
One of Odelm’s tentacles wrapped itself around my glass, gently lifting it out of my hands, and placed it on the nearby table.
“Soon enough. We just need to get through today, and by tonight, we will be on Zirene’s ship on our way to Destima.”
I scooted closer and tucked myself into his side. Odelm wrapped an arm around my torso, holding me against him as one of his tentacles placed his shelled ocarina onto the table, setting it next to my glass.
Pavryn wore a royal purple and black loincloth with silver details as he battled my cubs.
His matching crisscross bandolier lay folded on a table with his wristband sitting on top.
He was leaner and shorter than his full-blooded brothers with a shorter fur coat.
Instead of their striped pattern, he was solid black with pewter paws and a thin tail.
As if he felt the weight of my gaze on him, he looked up from his crouched position, his lapis eyes burning into mine.
A silver and black blur landed on top of him and attacked his ear.
Giggles escaped me as a shocked expression crossed his face.
“I win! I win!” Meti cheered as she flicked his ear with her front paws. “Ma. Look! I won! I beat Pav!”
“Good job! Show him who is in charge.”
The twins also took the opportunity of Pavryn’s distraction and attacked him. My silver eye-patched Noctez tackled his tail and grabbed on, preventing Pavyrn from getting free while my silver nose-lined Neazzos jumped on his back and held on tight with his tiny nails.
Pavyrn smiled and shook his head at me.
“What? It’s not my problem my three cubs defeated you,” I said, smiling sweetly.
“They may think I am defeated, but they are wrong,” he growled playfully and slowly rolled over, dropping both Meti and Neazzos to the ground as he yanked his tail away.
The cubs protested when his body disappeared as he shadowwalked to the other side of the room.
“I would call that cheating.” I shook my head. “You would think a warrior such as yourself wouldn’t need to use such abilities to beat mere cubs. Should I be worried?”
“You questioning my skills?”
“I wasn’t the one who needed to shadowwalk away from a trio of young cubs.”
“It was three against one!”
“And?”
He was too busy staring at me, flustered in silence with his tail flipping wildly behind him, to notice the cubs slowly crawling their way to him.
In reality, I didn’t doubt his abilities and was teasing him for using an ability they wouldn’t get until they fully matured.
Supposedly, that was when a Nova bond was formed—when both Nova and Shadow were fully matured.
Before that, neither would know anything different about themselves—hence, why Zirene didn’t feel his bond with me until I was released from my tube and born into the world at sixteen years of age.
“I believe you should be capable of defeating three cubs without shadowstepping. Kaede was able to defeat them without any of his gadgets until that one time they beat him and were rewarded his cape. He hasn’t come back for a rematch since.”
At that moment, the twins jumped onto his feet, wrapping themselves around his legs as Meti latched herself onto his sleek tail, biting onto it to hold on.
He jumped in shock, and I laughed hard as he tried to shake them off without hurting them—or using his ability.
Pavyrn ran around the room, trying to shake them off. He could have grabbed them by the nape of their necks or used his strength, but instead tried to tire them out and allowed them to admit defeat.
Odelm pulled a decorative blanket over me with two of his tentacles, covering me as I snuggled against his cool textured chest. He removed his arm from around me only to place it on top of the covers, holding my hip.
We watched Pavyrn play hunt and prey with the cubs as he leaped over chairs to get away. They may have been small, but they were fast. However, making sharp turns was still difficult for them as they tripped over their paws when they tried.
This was what I needed—moments like this, filled with small joys.
This was supposed to be a relaxing dinner and a chance for my clan—and friends—to get to know Chamber Master Mwe and his daughter, Oeta.
But for some reason, there was an uncomfortable itch throughout my body, daring me to scratch it even though it was impossible to do. Little bumps covered my limbs as if taunting me, showing the world how nervous I was.
I appreciated my nestmates for giving me the privacy I needed to sort out my feelings.
It spoke volumes. We may have had a give and take bond—my shielding abilities leaking over to them, making their own stronger, and allowing them to relax more around others as they used what I thought and felt to make sure I was taken care of—but sometimes, I didn’t want to be taken care of.
I wanted to stand on my own two feet with my head pointed up proudly.
I wasn’t a fool—I knew I was still in over my head when it came to laws and social norms—but I was trying.
They allowed me to have a chance to prove my own self-worth, only aiding me when I started to flounder. That was what I needed—a little guidance when things got confusing or rough.
There was an old human saying, “fake it until you make it”—the thing was, I didn’t want to fake it. Faking it would only cause issues in the end. Telling little lies here and there would only build on itself into a much larger problem to deal with in the end.
I would rather be wrong and corrected while given guidance than go around ignorant of the world.
It wasn’t my fault I didn’t know everything a female my age should know about the CEG and all the species in it.
Yet it also wasn’t the citizens' problem I wasn’t educated, which brought me back to appreciating all the aid my nestmates—and friends—had given me so far when it came to interacting with others in the space station.
That was why I was nervous about having dinner with everyone.
Mwe seemed to rub Zirene, Kaede, and a few others the wrong way.
I didn’t know why and didn’t want to ask in case they didn’t want to talk about it.
My nestmates feared his capabilities while Xylo and his team respected Oeta’s work; they were also nervous about working with such a powerful female.
I could see why. Their Queens ruled unfairly, and most nestqueens took after their example.
Circuli males were submissive and overly protective of their nestqueens.
While Xylo may have fewer issues than the unmated males, if Oeta was as powerful as her father, she too could create problems and try to take over the team. That was something I needed to address.
Zirene and Royak halted in front of a large decorated door as the rest of the guests did the same. As Zirene opened his mouth to say something, he stopped and stood up straighter as a mental brush against my shields went as soon as it came.
The door slid open, revealing a sleek black and chrome apartment.
Mwe stepped into the doorway with his arms open and a smile on his face.
He scanned our abnormal entourage, his glowing magenta eyes landing on me last. Brazenly, he pushed through the four princes and wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me in his black robe’s sleeves as his stained glass-like lavender wings surrounded us.
“I am so glad you came,” his deep voice rumbled through me. “And you brought your cubs. I am glad. My daughter hasn’t been able to stop talking about them and how honored she felt carrying Meti last night.” He released me and stepped back, surveying everyone.
“You are in time for dinner. Pick a seat and make yourself comfortable as Oeta finishes setting up the table.”
Mwe stood next to me as we watched the group disappear within his apartment, everyone stealing a glance full of mixed emotions before crossing the threshold. Kaede stood silently at attention, waiting for me to enter, his focus on me alone.
“You have quite a following.”
“You said I could invite whoever I wanted,” I replied hesitantly, gripping my cloak.
“I couldn’t invite both Aldawi princes without their two half-brothers…
then Vikvez would be left out, and he is a part of my new support crew.
Then if I was inviting Vikvez, I needed to invite my Circuli healing team because it was only fair, they have been with me since the beginning—”
He placed a hand onto my shoulder and squeezed gently, pulling my eyes from Kaede to meet his. “It’s okay, Selena. I figured you would bring everyone, but it seemed I overestimated the numbers because the Fab Five are not present.” He jerked his head toward Kaede. “Why is that?”
“Truthfully? I don’t know how to talk to them… and Zirene said something about them being on a mission right now. He didn’t go into details, and I didn’t want to press for answers. Kaede is my… well, my shadow, I guess. Zirene said he goes wherever I go unless we are on Destima—”
“I understand. Just know they believe they failed you—including Kaede.” He wrapped his arm around my waist for a quick hug.
“Let them come to you whenever they are ready.” He pressed a hand against the center of my back as he lead me into his apartment.
“Now, let us have a nice meal together before you leave tonight.”
Oddly, his hand felt comfortable against my back—like it belonged there. My body’s tenseness was gone, and in its place was a steady calmness.
I was no longer afraid of him or this moment.
My nestmates watched as we entered the large open apartment with multiple settings flowing into each other. Oeta was placing the last dishes of food on the long glass table overlooking the glass wall with a complete view of space.
There were three empty chairs at the end of the table. Mwe guided me to the seat next to Xylo as his daughter sat across from me with a wide smile. Mwe halted behind his backless chair and opened his arms, face beaming as his magenta glow brightened.
“I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight.” He turned toward the unmated Circuli. “I would like to thank you for taking time away from preparing for your embarkment, and I promise not to waste any of the precious time you have.”
“We appreciate being able to have one last fresh meal before we have to travel five days to Destima,” Z’fir said.
“We purposely didn’t purchase an overabundance of food product, knowing we would soon be landing on our new home planet. The fewer goods and supplies we have, the easier it will be packing and unloading everything on this ship for its disassembly,” V’dim explained.
“Disassembly?” I asked, looking between my Circuli princes and Zirene.
“Yes, Selena,” Zirene replied. “That is how our building technology works. We take the old, break it down, and reuse it. We do it faster than most species.”
“So, the Destiny would be no more?”
“Exactly.”