Chapter 15 #2
At long last, an explanation, albeit a devastating one.
“They think it started as long as fifteen years ago,” Maggie said. “It’s explained a lot to us, as well.”
“They’ve got me on something that has me thinking clearer than I have in years, but they told us it won’t last. That’s why I asked you to come. I wanted to see you before…”
“I, uh… I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’ve put you through hell, and I want you to move on with your life. And the kids… I love them so much, but I don’t want them to see me like this.” His voice caught on a sob. “It wouldn’t be fair to them. They’re too little to understand.”
He reached for her hand again, and this time, she let him.
“I’m so, so sorry for everything,” he said. “I didn’t know what was happening to me, and I was so scared. Rather than find out, I… I’ll always be sorry that I did this to us.”
Isla wiped away a tear. “You’re sick. It’s not your fault.”
“Don’t let me off the hook. If I’d listened to you, things might’ve been different.”
His mother wept silently as she watched over him.
Isla couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling and hoped to never find out.
“When it’s over, I want the kids to see my parents, okay?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Gabriel gave us your number,” Maggie said. “We’ll keep in touch.”
“Okay.” Isla had no idea what to do or say or feel. Nothing in her life could’ve prepared her for something like this.
“The signed papers are there, on the tray.”
She looked to where he pointed.
“You were a perfect wife and mother. I never deserved you.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is true.” He kissed the back of her hand. “I want you to be happy. I want the kids to be happy. Do that for me, will you?”
“Gabriel.” A sob erupted from her chest as she leaned over to hug him, trying to accept that this could be the last time she ever saw him.
“I love you, Isla. I always have, and I always will.”
She didn’t love him anymore and hadn’t for a long time, but she considered the words her final gift to him. “I love you, too. The kids love you so much.”
“I hope they remember the good things.”
“I’ll make sure they do.”
“That’s more than I deserve from you.”
“No.”
He ran his fingers through her hair the way he used to after they’d made love.
The memories of that sweetness resurfaced from the deepest part of her consciousness.
It’d been so long since she’d thought of him as sweet or kind.
“You can go, Isla, and don’t ever feel guilty about anything, okay? None of this was your fault.”
“Thank you for my babies. I’ll take good care of them.”
“I know you will. They’re lucky to have you. I was lucky, too.”
She had no idea how long she stayed like that, leaning over him, his arm around her as he told her again and again how much he’d always loved her while his parents sobbed. How sad for them to get him back right when he’d be leaving forever.
How sad for all of them.
“Go on and live your life, Isla. It’s okay. Everything is okay.”
No, it wasn’t, but his final gift to her was setting her free, and she’d always be thankful to him for that.
She raised her head off his chest and looked at him, studying the face she’d fallen in love with so many years ago, committing every detail to memory, including the scar that ran through his right eyebrow and the bump in his nose from it being broken while playing high school football.
Someday, she’d tell her kids the story of how he’d gotten the eyebrow scar from a snowball with a rock in it that his cousin had thrown at him, thinking it’d be funny.
“Godspeed, Gabriel. I’ll pray for you.”
“Thank you for that. For everything.”
She kissed him one last time, for all the good times, and stood upright, feeling like she’d been knocked off her feet.
“We’ll be in touch,” Maggie said as she wiped at tears.
Isla nodded, and with one last glance at Gabriel, she left the room.
On the way to the elevator, it began to set in that she’d probably never see him again, and she began to cry again.
Yesterday, that would’ve been the best news she could’ve gotten.
Today, knowing what she did now, it was devastating.
In her car, she sat for a long time, staring straight ahead, blinded by tears that wouldn’t stop.
Gabriel had a brain tumor and was going to die.
Probably soon.
She’d left the divorce papers on the tray table, because what did it matter now?
She wiped her face with her sleeve.
Her phone rang, and she took the call from Denny.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Not at all okay.” She filled him in on what she’d learned at the hospital. “He’s going home with his parents on hospice.”
“Oh my God. Isla…”
“I know. I can’t believe it. They said he’s probably had it for at least fifteen years.”
“How is it possible he had something like that and didn’t know it?”
“I have no idea, but it explains everything, including the estrangement from his parents.”
“Maybe he did know and didn’t want to deal with it.”
“Possibly.”
“How do you feel now that there’s an explanation for everything?”
“I’m numb. I can’t believe he’s going to die, or that all of this might’ve been preventable if only…”
“That’s so sad. Wow. What can I do for you?”
“I have no idea.”
“Are you okay to drive home?”
“I think so.”
“If you’re not, get an Uber. We’ll get your car tomorrow.”
“I can drive.”
“Okay. I’ll be here waiting for you to get home.”
“Thank you, Denny, for everything. Always.”
“I love you, kid. You’re stuck with me.”
She was crying so hard, she couldn’t speak.
“Islands… please take your time and be careful driving.”
“Uh-huh, I will.”
Isla waited until she was sure she could drive safely and stayed in the right lane all the way home, looking straight ahead and trying not to think about anything other than getting to her babies in one piece.
She was all they had now.
Even though that’d been true from the minute Gabriel destroyed their home, it felt more real now that she knew he was never coming back.
He was thirty-six years old and going to die.
By the time she pulled into the driveway at the rental, her entire body was trembling, and her teeth were chattering.
Denny came out of the house, opened the car door, helped her out and into his embrace. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
The second she was safe in his arms, Isla wailed.
No other word could describe the way she let go of the myriad emotions she’d kept bottled up inside for years.
She and her brother stood there in the dark for a long time, him consoling her while she cried harder than she had since they lost their parents so suddenly.
In many ways, this reminded her of that terrible time, when she and Denny had clung to each other in the aftermath of disaster.
At some point, he guided her into the house, closed the door and locked it before helping her out of her coat and onto the sofa. He put a blanket over her and then went into the kitchen, returning with a cup of tea made just the way she liked it, with a little bit of milk and some honey.
“Thank you.”
“I wish there was more that I could do.”
“This is what I need right now, my big brother making me tea and telling me it’s going to be okay.”
“As awful as it is right now, it will be okay, eventually. You and I know that all too well, don’t we?”
She nodded and took a sip of tea. “I haven’t cried like that since then.”
“I hope you never have a reason to cry like that again. You’ve already had far more than your share of reasons to cry.”
“This is just unbelievable. I mean… I suspected something was medically wrong with him, but he refused to seek treatment, so there was nothing I could do. To find out it was something that was slowly killing him and stealing all the things that made him who he was…”
“It is unbelievable, like something you’d read about in People magazine.”
“I’m comforted to know that the violent stuff wasn’t because he hated me or wanted to hurt me and the kids.”
“Yeah, definitely. I couldn’t reconcile the way he professed to love you guys with all his heart and then burned through your money and made you so afraid of him you built a shelter for you and the kids. I’ll never get over you doing that.”
“I had a feeling I’d need it.” She looked over at Denny, who was nursing a beer. “Did I do the right thing letting his parents take him home for hospice? Shouldn’t it be me seeing him through that?”
“No, it shouldn’t be you. He called his parents because he didn’t want to put you through that after everything else that’s already happened. He wants you to take care of yourself and the kids and start building a new life. That’s why he called them and not you when he got this news.”
“He said he wanted that for me. And the kids. How will I ever explain this to Theo? He’s been asking for Gabriel every day.”
“You tell him the truth, that Daddy got very sick. Maybe you even wait until the time comes when you can say he went to heaven, so Theo won’t ask to see him.”
“Is it wrong not to let him see Gabriel?”
“I don’t think so. He’s so little. How would he ever understand it?”
She brushed away more tears. “All I ever wanted for my kids was a safe, happy, joyful childhood.”
“And they’ll have that with you, Islands. They will.”
Isla dropped her head onto her brother’s shoulder, the way she’d been doing for as long as it’d been the two of them against the world.
“I wish you’d told me sooner how bad it had gotten.”
“I didn’t want anyone to know, especially you, because you told me not to marry him.”
“I never should’ve said that. It wasn’t up to me to tell you who to marry.”
“Who else would tell me the truth, if not you? I didn’t want to hear it. I was in love.”
“I know. I’m sorry it worked out this way. I never wanted that. I hope you know… I only ever wanted the best of everything for you.”
“Of course I know that. Thank you for always protecting me—and my money.”
Denny chuckled. “I’ve felt so guilty about that.”
“You did the right thing. He would’ve blown through it for sure, but at least now we know why he’d have done that.”
“Do you feel better knowing why things happened the way they did?”
“I guess so. I just wish he’d listened to me when I said he needed to go to the doctor to figure out what was going on. He refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong.”
“Because he couldn’t tell that from the inside,” Denny said. “It probably seemed normal to him if the tumor was affecting his judgment.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“You must be exhausted.”
“I am, but I’m not sure I could sleep.”
“You should try. The kids will be up and at it early.”
“Yes, they will.”
“Go ahead. I’ll crash on the sofa so I’m here if you need me.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’m okay. I swear. Go home and get some good sleep.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am. Thank you for everything.”
He helped her up and then hugged her. “Always.”
Isla walked him to the door and waved him off before locking up and shutting off the outside lights.
She checked on her sleeping babies, kissed them and tucked them in before heading to her room to change into her favorite flannel pajamas.
Even though it was in the sixties outside, she was chilled to the bone.
Having experienced shock before, she recognized it for what it was—a full-body experience.
When she was in bed, she checked her phone for the first time in hours and found a text from Jackson Remington.
Checking in to see how it went at the hospital and if there’s anything you need. I heard from Gabriel’s attorney that he signed the papers, which is good news.
Thank you for checking on me. The news at the hospital was devastating.
Gabriel has an advanced brain tumor and is entering hospice at his parents’ home.
Apparently, this is the reason for his erratic behavior and poor judgment.
Needless to say, this news has hit me hard.
He told me he signed the papers, but I left them there, since there’s no point in continuing the divorce proceeding.
Jackson wrote back a few minutes later. I’m so sorry, Isla. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to hear that news. If there’s anything we can do to help, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thank you so much, Jackson. I appreciate your kind words.
Isla put her phone on the charger and shut off the light.
For a long time, she lay awake thinking about Gabriel and her time with him.
With the benefit of hindsight, there were signs from the start that something was “off.” She’d chalked it up to eccentricity and had always thought he was more interesting than any other guy she’d ever met.
Now that she knew the truth, she could see that nothing had added up like it should have.
Perhaps she’d been so desperate to create a family of her own after losing her parents so tragically that she’d ignored things that should’ve been red flags.
But she could never regret her time with Gabriel, because it had brought her beautiful kids into her life, and they were the greatest gifts she’d ever been given.
If she kept her focus on them, she might just survive this latest catastrophe.