Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Griffin shifted his schedule for Friday to his brother Ethan, who was his associate, to give himself an unexpected day off.
To meet his daughter.
He ran a trembling hand through hair that was already standing straight up and tried to calm himself as he stepped into the shower.
Ethan had been pissed with the last-minute disruption to Griffin’s schedule that would make for a hell day for Ethan, but hopefully, he’d understand when he found out the real reason Griffin had taken the day off.
Not once in his entire life had he ever imagined what it might be like to have kids, because he’d never expected to have them. He had no freaking clue what to even do with a kid since he’d rarely been around them once his younger siblings had grown up.
What the hell was he going to do with a little girl?
The thought of being responsible for her made him weak in the knees as he combed wet hair before getting dressed in jeans and a Henley pullover. What did a guy wear to meet his kid for the first time, anyway?
His phone rang with a call from Julian.
“Hey.”
“How’re you holding up?”
“I’m spinning.”
“Take a breath and calm down. It’s going to be fine. It’s a baby, not a bomb.”
“Feels like a bomb going off in my life.”
“It is, but everyone will be okay. I promise.”
“Easy for you to say when you didn’t just become a father without the usual nine months’ notice.”
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy. Take it one minute at a time and send pictures.”
“I will. Thanks for calling, Jules.”
“Of course. You’ve got this, Griff. Remember, one minute at a time.”
“Got it.”
“And don’t forget to take pictures.”
“I won’t.”
He felt better after talking to Julian, which wasn’t unusual. His eldest brother had always been there for him—for all of them. He wasn’t the only one who went running to Julian any time something went sideways.
Did finding out you had a baby you didn’t know about count as something going sideways?
How about if her mother was the one woman who’d managed to crack your resolve to stay stubbornly single?
Julian didn’t know that part. No one did, or how he’d run away from her like his ass was on fire when he realized he’d developed feelings for her.
And now he had to see her—and the child they’d created together. Was it any wonder he was freaking the fuck out?
At eleven fifteen, he left his condo in Malibu to drive south to Santa Monica in his Chevy Silverado 1500 High Country, counting on the midday traffic to be lighter than it would be later in the day.
Thinking about traffic was easier than trying to anticipate what was waiting for him at the other end of this short drive.
McKenna had been different from the start.
Not only was she gorgeous and sexy as all hell, with curly light blonde hair and hazel eyes, but she was the funniest person he’d ever dated.
She was a flight attendant who dabbled in acting and was away a lot, so the relationship, such as it was, had worked out well for him as he’d still had plenty of time to surf and see his friends and family.
They’d done nothing but laugh—and screw—for months before he’d gotten scared of the emotional overload and headed for the hills.
He’d hurt her with his sudden withdrawal, and he hated that he’d done that to her, but one day, he’d woken up to the fact that she was becoming essential to him and decided he couldn’t let that happen.
It wouldn’t be much consolation to her to hear that he’d suffered through genuine heartbreak for the first time in his life after walking away from her, or that his decision had screwed him up for months after.
It was no wonder she hadn’t told him about the baby until she was born, or that she’d engaged a lawyer to reach out to him rather than texting him the news.
She had no reason to have an ounce of faith in him after the way he’d behaved.
Not to mention, knowing he was a family law attorney, she was probably afraid of what he might do next.
Not that she had any reason to be afraid of him wanting custody of her child. He didn’t.
So in addition to the considerable anxiety about meeting his daughter, he was also mortified about the chickenshit way he’d treated her mother.
Good times.
The vow they’d taken to stay single, so they’d never be part of a nasty split like their parents’, had been easy enough to stick to until he’d met McKenna and had to reckon with the reality of letting go of someone he truly cared about.
Steering clear of the kinds of nightmares they saw every day in their practice had turned out to be harder than expected when real feelings were involved.
But he’d done what he had to do, and now…
Today, he’d face the consequences in more ways than one. Considering the way he’d walked away from her, he was lucky she was allowing him to visit her home or meet their daughter.
Needing comfort wherever he could find it, he put down the window to let in the salt-air scent that always soothed him.
The sound of gulls squawking as they went about their scavenging further calmed the rampaging emotions.
He’d give anything to be spending this day surfing rather than having to face a woman he’d treated badly and the baby they’d made together.
Guilt, embarrassment, anticipation and curiosity were all present as he pushed the button on the panel outside her building to announce his arrival. “Hey, it’s Griffin.”
“Come on up.”
How strange it was to hear her voice again after trying so hard to forget her.
The woman who answered the door at apartment 4B bore little resemblance to the polished, put-together professional he’d met at a cocktail party in town.
This version of McKenna wore no makeup, her hair was in a ponytail, and she had on a long-sleeved T-shirt with sweats, and somehow, she was even more beautiful than he recalled.
There was a radiant, joyful aura to her that hadn’t been there before, and he wondered if that had come from motherhood. If so, it looked good on her.
“Come in.” She stepped back to admit him into the warm, cozy space he’d enjoyed so much when they were together. He’d enjoyed it too much, which had led to his retreat.
“You look great, Mac.”
Grimacing, she said, “That’s nice of you to say. Having a baby is tough stuff.”
“You’ve never been more beautiful.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say what you think I need to hear.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Thank you. Hadley is just waking up. You can come in to see her room, if you’d like.”
“I’m nervous about meeting her.”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Why?”
“What if she takes one look at me and says, ‘Nah’?”
“When was the last time a woman took one look at you and said, ‘Nah’?”
“It happens.”
“When has it happened?”
Was she teasing him or being serious? He had no idea until she smiled and immediately put him at ease. “She’s going to like you, Griffin. All you have to do is show up, and she’ll like you. She might even love you.”
Griffin rubbed the spot on his chest that ached at the thought of his daughter loving him. What would that even be like? He couldn’t begin to know.
He followed Mac into a room that’d been done in neutral, soothing colors with animals playing a central role in framed photographs and a mural on the wall next to the crib.
Every detail had been seen to with loving care, including the rocker in the corner and the stuffed animals in a hammock. “This is such a nice room.”
“Thanks. It kept me busy while I was waiting for her to get here.” She bent over the crib to pick up the baby. “We have a special guest today, sweetheart.” Mac turned so Griffin could see the baby’s face, and holy shit…
She was the prettiest baby he’d ever seen, not that he’d seen many up close, but at first glance, he could tell this baby was special.
“She’s gorgeous.”
“She really is. I find myself staring at her for incredibly long stretches of time.”
“I can see why.”
He watched as she efficiently changed the baby’s diaper, talking to her the whole time. The way the baby’s legs were constantly moving and how Mac kept a hand on her at all times to hold her in place was fascinating to him.
Mac picked her up and turned to Griffin. “Do you want to hold her?”
“I’d love to, but I’m a bit scared I’ll drop her or something.”
“You won’t drop her.” She used her chin to point to the rocker. “Have a seat, and I’ll bring her to you.”
“Okay.” He felt stupid, inept, out of his element and already on his way to being in love with the little being she lowered into his arms, bringing the familiar, fresh scent of Mac’s hair and baby smells that were all-new to him.
Griffin was surprised by the solid weight of the infant as well as the heat she generated as she looked up at him with big blue eyes that seemed to see all the way through him. Could she tell he was a novice, a fraud and way less of a man than she deserved for a father?
He hoped not.
“Let her grasp your finger. You won’t believe how strong she is.”
Griffin gave her his index finger and was indeed surprised by her tight grip. “She’s…” The huge lump in his throat caught him off guard.
“She’s everything,” Mac said. “And then some.”
He nodded in agreement because that was all he could manage thanks to the huge swell of emotion that overtook him as he gazed at the face of his daughter.
He had a daughter.
“You want some photos with her?”
“That’d be great.”
While he held the baby, Mac took photos that he’d use to introduce his daughter to his family. He wondered how long he’d have to wait until he could see her again.
Carson had been watching Marlon Beckett for hours as he staked out Cresley's home in the Hollywood Hills and their son’s private school in Beverly Hills. So he happened to be perfectly positioned to see Cresley arrive to pick up her son and spot her ex in his vehicle across the street.
“Shit,” Carson muttered as she got out of her SUV to walk toward Beckett’s truck.