Chapter 11 Neve
Sleep eludes me the entire first night. I can’t handle closing my eyes for long, the fear of dropping back into the dreamscape and never waking up again keeps me on high alert.
By the second, I’m utterly exhausted, but terror wins out.
Even as exhaustion clings to me, I can’t force sleep to come.
It’s too dangerous. I might never wake again if the frozen sleep steals me a second time.
I can’t see him, but I get the feeling Ban is here.
I can’t quite explain it, but there’s a frosty chill at my back sometimes, or lingering down the hall when I walk around the palace.
Maybe he’s doing that thing again with his magic.
Somehow, he controls the shadows, too. With everything else going on, I don’t remember what, if anything, he said about that.
But, seeing as he possesses two types of magic, he’s twice as dangerous as he once was.
For three solid days after my return, Mother avoids talking with me in private. It’s certainly a feat since I go out of my way to talk to her, my irritation sky-high. All I want are answers to what’s happened for the past century, and how either of us is alive right now.
Every time I think I’ll get the chance to speak to her, she finds something else to tell me about current affairs.
The staff are who I should know by name, the nobility who are expecting to dine at a ball in the palace in a little under a week's time, who the guards and the cooks and the cartographers and ladies-in-waiting and mapsmen are…
It’s overwhelming. And at the end of the day, it’s a lot of information I simply cannot retain. I was supposed to have a guiding hand to lead me into being queen, not a list of names I will surely forget.
On the fourth day, when Nyra coolly mentions the bags beneath my eyes, I snap.
We’re supposed to be in a meeting, but everything under discussion is frivolous and has nothing to do with current affairs.
“Enough of this nonsense, Mother. It is my throne you act upon, and all the affairs you mention have nothing to do with our immediate needs. Are you planning to explain my absence for a century at the ball? What about our people I see through the windows begging for scraps?”
Icy silence settles over the room. We’re in the middle of discussions about this ball, and it sounds so… so ridiculous, I can’t wrap my head around it.
Mother forces a smile, but there’s quelled anger hiding beneath. “Your Highness, my apologies. We don’t want to overwhelm you after the ordeal you have been through–”
“My ordeal would be expedited if you would only speak the truth,” I retort sharply. I can’t make myself care if I’m speaking too boldly before the court, including several nobles Mother brought in to discuss the particulars of this upcoming ball, and apparently, the guest of honor.
Whispers begin around us, a noblewoman I’ve already forgotten the name of opening her fan to whisper into the ear of the man at her side. It’s absurd. Who the hell carries a hand fan in the ice and snow?
“Queen Neve,” Mother says, her voice a hiss. “We can discuss the nature of what’s happened–”
“Obviously, we cannot, or we would have already,” I interrupt, turning my attention from her.
Four days without a single explanation is unacceptable.
A ball shouldn’t take precedence over telling me about the state of the world in my absence.
Mother isn’t trying to include me in things, for whatever reason, and I refuse to be blindsided.
I’m not ill, just out of touch. And no one’s doing a damn thing to fix that.
Turning, I focus my attention on the Captain of the Guard. Mother told me his name, that he’s the great-grandson of the man who was the head of Father’s personal guard while he ruled. I don’t know whether that will make him an ally to me or not. “Bromley, was it?”
He seems to startle at being addressed, but it quickly fades as he looks between myself and Mother. My irritation spikes at his indecision on who to listen to but his eyes finally land on me. “Sir William Bromley, Your Radiance. At your service.”
“Your duty is to the reigning queen or king,” I remind him curtly.
“I have heard a few things about what’s happening in the Frostlands and Mystica, but nothing about current events.
That seems more important than planning a frivolous party.
Tell me, how does the kingdom fare with the return of the Queen?
Is there a state of unrest, or much like this meeting, are we sweeping that news beneath the rug? ”
There go the whispers again, and I can feel Mother shooting daggers at me from the other end of the table.
In the past, I was never this outspoken or brash, but that was last century.
Everything I once knew has been turned upside down, and those around me do not seem concerned about what’s happening in the Frostlands outside of this damn ball.
Bromley swallows, ducking his head. For being the Captain of the Guard, I don’t see any sort of ferocity. Hopefully he’s more dependable if an emergency ever occurs, like the Queen disappearing for a century. “Well, Your Grace, the ball is to celebrate the arrival of an important guest.”
“Bromley,” Mother snarls.
I glance her way. “An important guest? If they’re so important that it supersedes updating me on matters of my kingdom, I should know who the guest is.”
The whispers from before are gone, and it’s pin-drop silent as Mother stares at me. The two Icebound she keeps close seem to almost lean toward her, like they are silently getting ready to defend her.
What on earth from?
There’s a chill at my back again, and instead of the strange coolness skating by, it lingers.
I want to find it annoying, but if it really is Ban, I suppose it’s good to know where he is.
That’s another matter to address later. Until my mother treats me like the queen I’m meant to be, I see no reason to indulge her and share that the ice mage is back.
So far as I can tell, Nyra truly said nothing about his appearance to Mother.
Icebound… they are spirits of a sort, according to legend. Ban sounded mad, talking about Reapers and the dead, but perhaps there’s some sense to it. Like me, maybe the spirits sense something is amiss. No one else seems any wiser about the ice mage’s presence.
“This meeting is dismissed,” Mother says suddenly, rising from her seat. The fluidity of the movement is still jarring to me after watching her struggle for years. “If you do not live in the castle, Nyra and Kael will see you out.”
I lift my brows, fighting the urge to cross my arms as the group obeys her every word without whispers and gasps. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that as queen, I actually want to know what’s going on.
Waiting silently, the room empties, and even Bromley abandons me. I try not to let the thought irritate me, but I could use someone on my side. If this is another wasted effort, I’m going to find the Captain of the Guard the moment this discussion is over.
As the door closes us in, I breathe a sigh of relief that Nyra and Kael were sent away, too. This is the first time we’ve been entirely alone since my return, and the fact that four long days have passed leaves a hollow feeling in my chest.
Mother surveys me for a moment, debate heavy in her eyes. “The special guest is someone you’ll remember from your past.”
“I don’t care who the guest is, Mother,” I bark, swiping the checklist off the table in front of me. “What is this nonsense? You’re wasting time planning balls and serving finery to the upper class while the poor starve. A hundred years hasn’t changed much of anything, has it?”
She presses her lips together and sighs.
“Things were difficult during the adjustment period after King Andor’s passing and your disappearance.
As dowager, it was my job to step in and ensure that the kingdom did not fall to ruin in times of uncertainty.
We were lucky to have any allies at all after that disaster.
” She takes a calming breath, a smile blossoming across her lips that doesn’t reach her eyes.
“You were asleep a long time, Neve. Expecting you to take on the burdens of the Frostlands in a few short days, let alone when you barely had any practice to begin with, would be negligent on my part. Are you even getting any sleep at night, Your Grace?”
My eyes narrow at the question. Since returning I haven’t managed to sleep, not in the royal guestroom or my childhood bedroom.
Nothing will convince me to close my eyes and chance going back to the dreamscape.
“What do you know of my sleep, Mother? Now, or over the last hundred years? In a century you’ve barely aged, and neither have I. ”
Those cold, nearly translucent eyes seem to look right through me. “I don’t know what cast you into the great sleep, Neve, only that it was my job to ensure you were safe until you returned to us.”
That chill is back against my skin again, and I swear, it’s got to be Ban. “I woke up in a cabin. In the North Mountain, where Father used to take me, and you rarely went. Your curse kept you from being able to climb the mountains comfortably. I didn’t think you would remember its location.”
“Your father left us suddenly,” she snaps, the fake sincerity in her voice vanishing all at once. “He was stolen from us by that ice mage. The same person who has ripped everything from us.”
Subconsciously, I reach behind me, and the chill that seems to have been following me ghosts across the back of my hand.
Definitely Ban. I’m not sure if having him this close to my mother is a good idea, but for some reason, his presence steadies me.
“Ice mage or not, Mother, I’m asking about you.
I go away and nap for a century while you rule in my place?
How have you not aged? How are you moving with such grace? ”