Chapter 24 Neve
The fiery burn that’s been keeping me company fades when I hear Ban’s voice. I can’t tell whether my words register as spoken or not, but the ache in my back makes me gasp as my eyes flutter open.
For the first time I can remember, I’m cold.
“Neve?”
Blinking, I force myself up. Hands at my back make me gasp, shudder, and I lock onto the voice. “Ban?”
Turning my head, I spot his familiar eyes. Relief, like I’ve never seen before, reflects in his gaze. It’s so different from how he looked when he first woke me in the cabin.
And behind him, almost out of focus…
I struggle to turn, Ban jumping into action as I move. “F-father?”
In the snow, almost too pale to see, I can see my father. Perhaps it is a trick of the fire, or an illusion from my dreary mind, but I can swear he is there. Scrambling against the cold floor, I force myself to sit up.
And scream, slamming my face into the stone again.
“You’re hurt,” Ban explains, and the phantom pains from my dreamscape feel very much like a reality. Can I call it a dreamscape when it was so different from the place I stayed while Mother kept me beneath her spell?
Because you ran out of time. That’s what the Sandman said, and my gaze whips around to stare at the spot where I saw Father again.
Like an illusion, he’s gone.
Ignoring what Ban told me, I try to sit up again. It hurts, agony radiating throughout my body, and despite the fire, there’s almost… a chill along my spine. Like when I could sense Ban behind me in the shadows but not see him. Despite the throbbing, that cold ache is almost familiar.
“Try not to move,” someone says, and my hands slam into the floor. Ban hisses as I turn, twisting to see who’s speaking.
Two figures stand on the opposite side of Ban: a woman who looks in danger of freezing to death, and a man with dark hair and orange eyes. They make a strange pair.
While pressing my head to the stone, I try to catch my breath. The agony is overwhelming, yet I can almost feel where the injury radiates from. It’s definitely my spine, the cold along with the pain undeniably Ban’s magic. I just don’t understand what his magic is doing to my body.
“My mother did this,” I hiss, and silence greets me in return. “Didn’t she?”
The man I don’t know responds, his voice a little more gravelly than Ban’s, “Yes.”
“I need to get up,” I gasp, pushing on the ground again. It’s goddamned painful, but not totally unbearable, even when I feel Ban’s touch, gentle against my spine. I know it’s him because the icy chill at the top nearly pulses with his proximity. How strange.
“You need to rest,” he argues, refusing to remove his hand. I glance at the duo across from us, and it’s obvious that neither is interested in helping me. The woman is still shivering, and when she tilts her head I’m startled to realize she has two different colored eyes.
“Who are they?”
“Uh, Zarev and Odette. They’re… friends.”
“I told you he likes me,” she whispers beneath her breath, glancing at Zarev.
After a brief nod, I focus on the mouth of the cave behind Ban, struggling to roll onto my side. Ban’s still barely touching me, like he’s worried about something. “Why are we in a cave?”
“There are troops in the kingdom,” Ban explains carefully after a moment of silence, and my eyes narrow. “From Wonderland. They wear red and black uniforms. Zarev went back and checked after we escaped. It isn’t safe to return.”
I blink hard, staring at him. My eyes dart between Ban and the mouth of the cave, wondering if I could try to dodge past him.
“Troops… Where are ours?”
His eyes flicker with pain. “Frozen. The only living people we have seen in the Frostlands since abandoning the capital city are those who live on the outskirts. And the populations in those little villages are meager at best.”
No, that can’t be right? “H-how long was I out?”
I feel the beginning of a headache trying to form. Much like the pain in my back, I don’t have time for this. Not if there’s supposedly an invading army or troops who don’t belong, or…
A sob crawls up my throat, echoing unbidden in the little cave.
Pressing a hand to my mouth, I try to silence the cry, wrapping my other arm uncomfortably across my middle.
There’s a chill over my spine as another breeze blows through the space, and slowly I realize that my back feels bare.
Not quite naked, but the material of my dress seems to be missing.
“Neve–”
I smack Ban’s hand away when he tries to comfort me. I’m not supposed to be having a breakdown. I’m the Queen. I’m supposed to handle this.
But an invading army? My mother… possibly dead? I’m injured to some extent, the people are supposedly frozen, there’s no one to turn to–
The reality hits me like a physical blow. I have no one to guide me. Mother, however misleading, was someone to look to when I came back from my sleep. My father, until the moment he died, promised to give me guidance in the next part of my life.
I don’t have anyone to follow now. I don’t know how to be the Queen.
As I look out toward the mouth of the cave again, my panic ratchets up. How do I rule without a guide? What am I supposed to do for the people who have expectations of me?
At the mouth of the cave, the wind is tossing the snow about. There’s a whistle in the breeze, and thick snowflakes fall quickly to the drift forming out front. There’s a blizzard coming, and even if the cold doesn’t usually bother me, getting snowed-in here probably isn’t a good idea.
My thoughts fall away again when I spot the figure from before, the silhouette I thought I saw when I first woke. “Father?”
Beside me, Ban’s gaze snaps around to see what I’m looking at. I force myself to tuck my legs and rise, unwilling to believe I’m seeing something that only exists in my mind.
All these years, even in my dreamscape, I never saw my father’s lingering spirit. I was worried about the Icebound, the myths I grew up with that captured souls linger here among the living, unable to pass on. That was before I ran into Ban again, and he made me question everything about the dead.
The figure takes off, and I decide I won’t watch my father run away, not when I’ve waited a hundred years to see him again.
After rolling to my feet, I catch myself against the wall, the dress that’s barely hanging to my shoulders gaping forward. It doesn’t seem that I’m just missing part of the dress, but it appears there’s no back to my dress at all.
“Neve,” Ban hisses, catching my arm. “You can’t run out there. The ice–”
“I am ice,” I growl, ripping my arm away. His eyes bore into mine as he glares at me, and for the first time, our size difference feels like a disadvantage. Usually, I can rely on my magic, but right now, I don’t trust myself to fight him. “Get on my side, or get out of my way.”
I push Ban back, and this time, he lets me, despite the wary look in his eyes. I allow myself two steps to find my balance, take a breath, and throw myself out into the blizzard.
The frigid cold is a welcome balm to my skin, my body craving its touch. The wind snags my hair behind me, making me squint my eyes against the assault of snowflakes. It tears at my skirt and threatens to knock me over. I kick off my heels. They’ll only be a hindrance to me anyway.
There.
We’re at the base of the mountains, and given the size of the cave and the mountaintops that disappear into the storm above, I think this is the North Mountain. This is where my cabin was, the one my father showed me when I was young.
The one Mother kept me in for a century.
“Father!”
Ahead in the snow, I barely make out my father’s silhouette. Like the King he always was, he stands regal and tall. It’s dark, but I can make him out like a beacon, glowing blue. Strangely, the light makes it look like he has horns protruding from the top of his head.
I step forward, holding out my hand to close the distance. “Father…”
He doesn’t come back to me. Instead, he turns and begins to sprint up the mountain, appearing to float on top of the snow instead of sinking into it. Even I can't do that.
“Neve!”
Ban flies out of the cave after me, the wind sending his hair back in a halo of white. It’s bright enough that I can see him against the dark landscape.
I push away, begging my magic to respond to me. Unlike in the dreamscape, lying in the field, it comes easily this time when I shoot ice at him.
He blocks it, the wind sending a snowy defense spiraling off behind us. Ban’s eyes peer off in the direction my father ran, and for a moment, he seems surprised.
“Don’t try to stop me!” I scream, using the pain in my back to spur me onward. My movements are jagged at first, my body struggling to respond to me for long moments. I can hear their voices behind me. Every second it takes to catch up with my father steals my breath with worry.
What if he isn't there, and I really am losing my mind? Perhaps Ban didn’t see anything at all.
As I rush to follow my father up the cliffs, Odette's voice carries after me in the wind, almost lost to the storm. “Why is she going further up the mountain?”
If one of them responds, I don't hear it, nor do I turn to see if Ban is chasing me. I have a feeling he won’t casually watch while I climb the mountain in a snowstorm, but if I risk turning back, I might lose my footing or the line of sight of my father.
Just ahead, constantly out of reach, my father's figure moves easily up the mountain. My dress flaps in the wind, and I’m dimly aware that if the wind catches it the wrong way, it might completely tear off. I refuse to stop and worry about that until it's an actual problem.
We circle the mountain, my body aching as I follow my father. I’m almost positive Ban is behind me; I don't know if the others came with him. The wind and cold are significantly worse up here, threatening to send me off the side of the mountain if I lose focus.