Chapter 25
Luna
I move around with hesitation, mentally capturing every inch of his house because this is going to be the last time I will be in this house.
I don’t know how to exist around Cooper without feeling like an intruder in his atmosphere.
I am close enough to touch, but I am years away in distance.
Cooper notices me standing and encourages me to take a seat on his couch that is positioned next to the balcony.
The couch engulfs me in its softness, and my nerves settle down a little.
‘This is a beautiful house, Cooper. You’ve done a great job in making it feel homey. ’
‘I tried,’ he says. The bashful smile makes a reappearance. He always had a hard time accepting compliments.
My throat feels dry, but before I can say anything, Cooper leaves the living room and disappears behind a door.
He comes back holding a glass of water, which he points towards me, and waits for me to take it from him.
Once I do, he sits on the bean bag opposite me.
It baffles me how much Cooper still knows me and can read my thoughts without me having to voice them out loud.
Seven years is a lot of time. People grow into different people over time. Yet, the core of us stays the same.
I slowly sip the water and search the room with my eyes to find more clues about the grown-up Cooper.
Silence fills the air around us, and neither of us utter a word for some time.
But the entire time, Cooper’s gaze stays on me, strong enough to be a touch.
I try not to look his way because I don’t know if I can look away after our eyes meet.
My sight catches on the balcony and specifically at the telescope pointing towards the sky.
‘I don’t remember you having a telescope before .
..’ My words are laced with uncertainty.
‘I didn’t. I got it a few years back. I wanted to track the ISS so that I can practice for when you go on the mission.
I thought I could keep an eye on you for your parents.
’ He speaks while his eyes fixate on the telescope.
He continues looking at it without realising the impact his casual words had on me.
How does he know about my mission? Why does he still talk to my parents about me? Why does he care? Does he still care? The questions in my head threaten to spill out of my mouth. But thankfully, my vocal cords restrict them from getting out.
‘I met your Dad at my gallery opening a year back; it was kind of him to make an appearance, even after the way I hurt you. He even wrote an article featuring my gallery afterwards. At the opening, he told me about your ISS mission. He might have shared your Mum's and his worries and fears about you travelling far away, so I thought I’d help a little.’ This takes me out of my train of thought. ‘Hence.’ He points to the telescope.
My heart tightens because his words mean that he is still the same thoughtful Cooper who shows people through his actions how much he loves you. I cannot afford to go down this road again. I shove the feeling further down my heart.
Cooper must notice the air change around us. ‘So, the thing I wanted to give you. I’ll go get it from my room,’ he says as he swiftly gets up from the bean bag and walks to his room.
Every second he spends in his room is agonising.
The closure, the ending that I was hoping for before I stepped into his house, might not be what my heart wants anymore.
My knee bops up and down, my fingers travel to my lips, and I bite the skin around my nails.
Cooper finally walks out of the room with a framed canvas wrapped in brown wrapping paper and tied with a red bow – my favourite colour.
I stand from the couch and reach out to take the canvas from his hand.
My eyes flit back and forth between the mysterious canvas in my hands and Cooper’s face.
He nods towards the canvas, encouraging me to open it.
I tug at the bow, and it unravels immediately along with the wrapping paper.
Behind the paper is a painting of me. My breath hitches, and my brain connects the dots as to why it looks so familiar.
It is from the day at the river; the day I submitted my final thesis.
I pick out the details from the painting and match them with the memory in my head.
My eyes are closed, a soft smile dances on my lips, my hair is in the wind, and the sky around me is exploding with colours. ‘What ... what is this Cooper?’
‘It is the painting I did for my final thesis. I had the background ready for months, and I didn’t know what to paint as the subject, but I knew that day that it had to be you.
You looked ethereal and peaceful that day, Luna.
I couldn’t shake that day out of my head, so I tried to capture it the best I could. ’
My heart starts beating faster in my chest. ‘And ... that was the day I realised that I loved you. It made it more meaningful for me to paint.’ He continues.
His words are like a wrecking ball to the wall I built over the years between him and me.
I can’t fathom what is happening right now.
That day at the river is the same day I realised I was in love with him.
My fingers slowly pass over the dried brushstrokes of the painting, trying to comprehend it all.
‘You ended up becoming my muse, Luna.’ Cooper’s hand travels towards my face, but he stops himself and maintains distance. ‘This painting was the centrepiece of my gallery, but after I saw you yesterday, it didn’t feel right sitting in the gallery. I want you to have it.’
Soft sobs come out of me, the tears roll down my face, and droplets fall onto the painting. I look up at Cooper through my glassy eyes. His eyes dart between my eyes and lips, and I let go of the painting, which lands quietly on the couch. I throw my arms around Cooper’s neck and kiss him.
He pulls back for a second, stunned by what just happened, but he instantly collides with my lips and kisses me back with what feels like a need that was festering within him for several years.
I melt into him, but my thoughts immediately scream what are you doing?
I pull back and put several feet of distance between us, my eyes widen, and disappointment tears through me.
I touch my lips as if they were scorched. ‘I have to go.’
‘Luna, wait, I—’
‘No, Cooper. If you say anything more, I will stay. But I shouldn’t. Not when I still haven’t forgiven you.’ I continue walking towards the door.
I step out of the house and catch the faintest whisper. ‘I still think about you, Luna.’